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Only married 7 weeks and heading for divorce :(


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#31 TheFutureMrs.Sears

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    Posted 25 January 2010 - 10:01 AM

    I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. My advice isn't any different than what the other girls have already posted. Just wanted to let you know that I hope everything works out for you and to hang in there.
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    #32 jk1101

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      Posted 25 January 2010 - 10:45 AM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by JuneWeddingDreams
      My heart goes out to you...I feel anxious for you! I went through this with my first marriage...although he was doing similar things with one of my good friends. In the end, he needs to give you what you are asking for (passwords, work out of a different location, etc) until he has built your trust up again. If he isn't willing to do those little things he obviously is hiding something and/or doesn't want to change his ways.

      Have you asked him how he would feel if he saw similar emails that you were sending to another man? I am sure he wouldn't like it at all. Out of respect for you he needs to do what you ask to build that trust back up! Hang in there! I feel like I am going through this all over again with you...it is truly the worst feeling in the world. Your heart sinks...in the end...you need to do what you are comfortable with and what is best for you! You know him better than the rest of us do...trust what your gut tells you!

      I will be saying a few prayers for you tonight! Lots of hugs!
      I am so sorry that you are going through all of this and feeling so awful. I think the question asked above is one of the best things you can asked him. The one time FI and I had a really bad fight, I got that advice from his mom...and it worked out really well...it really made him stop and think. i'm not saying it will make everything all better, but it might be a start.

      I think going and talking to someone together is a great idea - i'm not sure reading all of the emails between him and the other girl is such a good one - it will do nothing but hurt you. you already have your suspicions and evidence...now is the time to go and try to save your marriage, if you think it's worth it. As you can see you have lots of support and love from all of us here, and hopefully from your people at home as well.

      good luck and lots of hugs!

      #33 heidilynn28

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        Posted 25 January 2010 - 10:52 AM

        so so sorry to read this thread. It's gotta be the worst feeling in the world when you find out something like that. My words of advice.. stay strong and stick to your guns. If he loves you and wants to be with you, he'll hand over the passwords and hopefully realize the consequences of his actions.

        Don't give up, but don't be desperate.. good luck chica. xx

        #34 boscobel

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          Posted 25 January 2010 - 10:59 AM

          Wow, I can see why you'd be devestated. Whether it's the end of your marrige or not, is up to you two, but I definitely think that you should seek counseling. Whether it's for you alone, or the two of you to try to salvage your relationship. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

          #35 Ana

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          Posted 25 January 2010 - 11:02 AM

          I'm so sorry that you're going through this...its brutal! I agree with everyone else, if he really wanted to make this work and he had nothing to hide he would give you what you needed to make you feel content and move on. YOU should be his #1 priority and if you're not then you need to be honest with yourself. Like Nadine said, follow your head and not your heart on this one. The fact that he blaitantly disrespected you is disgusting and not ok. He should be thinking of you and only you, ALWAYS!

          #36 **~Linda~**

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            Posted 25 January 2010 - 11:05 AM

            Sending you big hugs. My heart completely goes out to you at this time. I don't have much to say except im so sorry your going through this. We are all here for you.

            #37 breeze616

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              Posted 25 January 2010 - 11:14 AM

              My god Leslie, I feel so terrible for you! regardless of whether things have gone further than flirty emails, the fact that you found those emails in the 'trash can' shows that he is being sneaky and hiding stuff from you. His wife. From whom there should be no secrets, esp ones like flirting with girls you specifically told him to stay away from.

              I agree with everyone else that you should seek counseling. You guys can't get through this alone - your trust in him is crushed and he could possibly have some issues where he needs attention from other women, both issues CAN be helped with counseling.

              My heart truly goes out to you and I hope you can happiness again. big hugs.

              #38 JUSTUSTWO

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                Posted 25 January 2010 - 11:21 AM

                So sorry that you're going through this. I agree with Carly that even if you don't go to counseling together, you should go alone just to make sure that you get the attention that you need right now & you get to address your needs, your feelings & figure out what you want to do.
                Obviously the situation is not good right now but whether you decide to separate or stay together, definitely do what is best for you.

                #39 finleys7

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                  Posted 25 January 2010 - 11:30 AM

                  I don't think I can say anything that these ladies haven't already. Overall, you will do what is best for you and the truth will prevail.

                  Sending you lots of hugs during this rough time and hoping you can work through this.

                  On a completely separate note ~ hoping this will make you smile ~ you were a BEAUTIFUL bride and your pictures are amazing. Not knowing what this admin looks like, she can't hold a candle next to you, regardless.
                  Shannon

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                  #40 Boston Bride 2009

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                    Posted 25 January 2010 - 11:48 AM

                    I feel so badly that this has happened to you. I had a 3 year relationship when I was younger and my bf had another girlfriend. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling that this is your husband doing this. You have to go with your gut, really. Don't try to make excuses because if you are thinking something it is probably true. I can't give you advice because I don't know either of you but I do know that being married is a lot different than just a bf doing this. If you truly love each other you will find a way to make this work.
                     

                     





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