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#21 Woodsylou

  • Member
  • 545 posts

    Posted 19 November 2009 - 12:24 PM

    i am not being sarky or offensive, i hope! i am just saying that i thought the wording was harsh! i am totally aware of the rules and totally agree with them and i think, as i've said, that this forum is great and full of helpful and wonderful information and advice. But, what i am concerned about, is that like in this discussion where we're just talking about opinions and not being offensive or abusive, am i being threatened with being banned? if so, why?

    again, i am not trying to be abusive or offensive, but i am just enquiring. i don't want to be banned at all! i am enjoying it here, but i just would like to know.
    a UK bride :)

    35 fabulous people booked! 31 at The Moon Palace, 4 offsite! YAY!

    My planning thread! http://bestdestinati....k-bride-61178/

    #22 Alyssa

    • Sr. Member
    • 11,793 posts

      Posted 19 November 2009 - 12:26 PM

      Originally Posted by Woodsylou
      i think those replies are quiet harsh. she was just asking. as a relatively newbie myself sometimes you're not 100% sure what to do.
      Originally Posted by Woodsylou
      no i know, but i just think parts of it were worded slightly harshly. sometimes as a newbie on a site, and this is a BIG site and it's full of fabulous useful stuff, but sometimes you don't really know how to work it.

      i just think they could of said something like 'unfortunately we can't have multiple threads on the same subject, if you go to xyz it tells you how to search and that might help, good luck' something like that you know? i just think " have a newborn at home as well...AND a 2 year old and i run 2 businesses. we are all busy. use the search feature this topic has been discussed at length. thread closed." is a little blunt and harsh. but that's just my opinion.

      that is why we have a welcome email before you ever get access to the forum that tells you to READ THE RULES and FAQ! it is not on us to hand hold and teach every new member how to work the forum when all you have to do is actually read the rules that are pointed out in like 50 places.


      #23 TammyWright


        Admin & Owner

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      • Wedding Location:Dreams Los Cabos

      Posted 19 November 2009 - 12:29 PM


      If you read my post in its entirety you would understand that having a newborn and 2 year old does not allow me much time. Therefore my posts will usually be brief.

      I was also responding to her post about not having time because of her newborn.

      Yes, we are all busy. If you do not have time to read the forum rules and follow them then I do not have time to coddle you and you will lose forum priviledges.

      This applies to you as well.

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      #24 juliaks

      • Newbie
      • 32 posts

        Posted 19 November 2009 - 12:41 PM

        Originally Posted by carly
        This thread seems to be taking a turn for the worse. Actually, perhaps it's just continuing with the negative spirit that the original poster intended, but that isn't the way we like this forum to run. We encourage everyone to have an opinion, but we also require that the members respect the admin (Tammy host) and the moderators. You might want to take a look at this thread - http://bestdestinati....-banned-32834/ - specifically this quote from a few posts down although the entire thread might be useful.

        I'm not sure why expressing my opinion and perhaps looking for a sympathetic ear is being construed as 'negative spirit', but to each his (her) own I guess.

        All I was getting at was that the responses I received from the mods felt like a slap in the face. I didn't mean to imply that my time is more valuable than others, just that I didn't have a ton of time period. As all new mothers know, the first few months are a huge adjustment. Some handle things better than others. For some silly reason, I decided to also throw into the mix, planning a wedding, and building a new house. I'm not trying to say I'm special by any means, but more or less explain my motivations behind actions.

        As an FYI, I did search the forums for an answer to my question, but the results that came up were overwhelming. After reading for about ten minutes, I assumed the question either had not been asked, or I was inept at searching. This is what led to my post. I tried to keep my post upbeat, and I turned it into a two part message, also letting everyone know about my good news. That way it wouldn't be just a big waste of time.

        I felt the comments left on the thread were a little abrasive, but it's not really the mods jobs to try and treat everyone with kid gloves. It's my error in judgement for thinking so.

        I think I've said everything I've needed to explain myself, and hopefully I haven't said anything to be construed in a negative light. I was just trying to belong, and that's not how I felt with the responses I received.

        One last note, I did not want to get any of the other members in trouble, but I do appreciate the kind words and support.

        Good luck everyone!


        #25 LCBride2007


          VIP Member

        • VIP Member
        • 24,768 posts

          Posted 19 November 2009 - 01:08 PM

          Ok, I must use what you said as an example. You were overwhelmed with the search results, so you posted a new thread. This is the exact reason we try to avoid creating new/duplicate threads, so that the next person that comes along isn't overwhelmed. It's a vicious cycle. We want this forum to be useable and NOT overwhelming, which is why we enforce our rules as we do.

          and I wanted to add something, and this is mostly directed at Woodsylou, since she asked. But this is for anyone that questions why we do what we do.

          when you join a forum, or any organized group for that matter (online or not), there are often rules. you are expected to read/know/understand these rules before participating. if you choose to not educate yourself on these rules, it is your choice but you can't expect to be given any slack because you made that choice. can you tell a police officer that you didn't know the speed limit and expect to be let off? not likely. my guess is that you also won't get a very friendly response. extreme example, i realize, but same point.

          please read the rules before participating. if you have questions, do a search to see if that question has already been answered. it's quite simple. we try to make this forum as easy to understand and navigate as possible.

          as others have said, we (the admin and moderators) are all very busy as well. we have jobs, kids, responsibilities ... lives. we can't (and don't want to, honestly) take the time to explain every rule AGAIN to every new member that chooses not to read the rules beforehand. when we do have to do that, you'll have to excuse us if we might come off as a little frustrated, or short. you probably would be as well.

          #26 Bunny121009

          • Newbie
          • 83 posts

            Posted 19 November 2009 - 04:37 PM

            I'm a mother to a 5 month old so I know how it is for everyone esp when you have multiple responsibilities and commitments. There is a wealth of info on this site. I feel fortunate to have found it and wished I had found it alot sooner but am grateful to have found it. I've been inspired by my findings. I try to search first and haven't asked/posted any direct questions per se b/c I often find them in a previous thread.

            I'm a noob too, I've browsed the rules while exercising common sense and care not to post something offensive or rude. I become even more familiarized with the rules through posts not unlike this one. I find that one of the helpful things to do is when you first log in check out Unread posts and threads first to lessen being overwhelmed. I don't know its helped me somewhat in navigating this forum. When searching, and taking care to your limited time, limit your search criteria make it as specific as possible type in your resort or the specific subject matter that you are seeking info on. Try befriending a senior or full member or a member who is getting married at the same resort as you (etc) who you can PM or may not mind helping you sometimes.

            While you are an individual I think what occurred seems to be of a repetitive nature and has sparked what comes off as bluntness...sometimes you just feel like a broken record and it makes you feel worse when you go out your way to put things in extensive writing on your limited time. With all of this said, I really wouldn't take what you felt as chastisement too personal, don't let it ruin your entire experience w/ the forum I'm sure you have gotten some good out of it. Every forum has mods and rules. We all make mistakes as a noobie not just in this forum but in life in general.

            ~Good Luck and Take Care

            #27 torywedd

            • Jr. Member
            • 169 posts

              Posted 19 November 2009 - 05:42 PM

              i am so sorry that u feel that way, i know @ first this site can be a lil' hard t navigate, but i must say that everyone has been super duper nice and responded quickly to my threads.....most of my friends aren't married, so this site is my best bridal buddy site, and luv that the other brides are so helpful and willing to share....so in a nutshell, give it another try, it is sooooooooo worth it.....and ur DRESS IS SIMPLY STUNNING, glad u decided to post, u have given me inspiration that i will find a dress just a pretty as yours.......

              #28 torywedd

              • Jr. Member
              • 169 posts

                Posted 19 November 2009 - 05:46 PM

                oops sorry i thought that was a pic of your dress....u have to post pics i wanna see....

                @LadyTrunck-again a lovely dress

                #29 Preciousmi811

                • Jr. Member
                • 342 posts

                  Posted 19 November 2009 - 10:32 PM

                  There have been numerous times I have been reamed out by police officers or park rangers for trespassing or driving in construction zones and they always ask me didn't you see the sign or didn't you read the paperwork? And I always sheepishly reply I didn't have time to read the paperwork or I saw the sign and didn't think it applied to me. And they get sooo angry because it took alot of time and money to make the public aware. Sound familiar? Yeah I could have wrote a letter to somebody but the bottom line is the responsibility fell on me so I took my lickings and the next time I went out I read the area rules and where I shouldn't trespass and ran into the same ranger and he pointed out to me secret trails and great picture shots and I had the time of my life. And to think I swore I would never go there again and I almost missed out on one of the greatest days ever.

                  Don't cheat yourself out of this opportunity. This site is my best friend let it roll off our shoulders and move on.
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                  #30 meseh

                  • Jr. Member
                  • 194 posts

                    Posted 06 January 2010 - 04:31 PM

                    I too am sorry for your experience on the forum. I have nothing but good things to say about, I enjoy looking at the other soon-to-be and previous brides photos, advice, etc. I would love to see your dress as well, at one point I was lost also, but it will get better.

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