Mom gave me an ultimatum to come to MY wedding!?!
Posted 27 October 2009 - 04:39 PM
Why would she book after you told her you no longer wanted her to come? You would normally think it was b/c she's realized she should support her daughter. But booking AFTER that and then giving you ultimatums? I don't think so. Sounds like she's planning drama. If she ends up coming, I would tell hotel security to keep her away from you. Maybe that's going to the extreme, but I'm having one of those days.
Posted 27 October 2009 - 04:54 PM
Hope that you can reason with her - we are here for you to vent to - do you have other close girlfriends you can talk to also? Stay strong!
Posted 27 October 2009 - 05:17 PM
Posted 27 October 2009 - 05:50 PM
I think the first thing that need to be rectified - the ultimatums come from YOU, not her.
I know she is your mother, but given your relationship and her behaviour - I can't help feeling that she will ruin your day at all costs.
Hardball is the only way to play this one I feel. Something like -
Your my mother and I love you, but my wedding is the start of my new life. The choice is yours whether you would like to be part of that life or not. Should you decide that you would like to be present at one of the most important days of my life, The I only ask 1 thing:
1. You will be supportive from the moment you get on the plane to leave, until the moment the plan lands back home afterwards. Your wedding is reserved ONLY for people who are supporting me, and celebrating my relationship and my marriage.
Mum, your opinion has been heard. Loud and clear. I understand that this is not the way you want things to happen. I understand this is not the decision you would make. Now you need to understand that this is my life - and if you would like to continue your part in it, then bite your tongue.
If you feel that you can meet my one demand, then I would love to have you at my wedding. If you cannot, then its best that you stay at home.
Posted 27 October 2009 - 07:17 PM
Posted 27 October 2009 - 07:40 PM
Posted 27 October 2009 - 07:49 PM
Posted 28 October 2009 - 02:54 AM
Posted 28 October 2009 - 09:53 PM
I'll be sure to keep you all posted.
Posted 29 October 2009 - 02:20 AM
I would like to second the suggestion of having other guests help keep her in check. At least if there are multiple people forewarned of her potential tantrum, they will be ready and can help to diffuse it quickly -- and you will feel much better knowing that there are people that DO love and support you to make sure that your day is special. This will really help to keep you calm and feeling positive during what would otherwise be a very stressful and upsetting moment when your mother decides to get ghetto. I would even dignify anything that she said with a response; let your 'designated guests' rebuke it.
I wish someone would give me an ultimatum to attend my wedding...even would recoil when I finish with them.
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users