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KimmyD

Is it rude not to plan the entire weekend for my guests?

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I agree that it's not at all rude. I think as long as you have some sort of welcome event where people can get to know each other at the beginning it's fine to let everyone do their own thing. Some people may join together and do excursions and activities, some may want to just relax on their own. It's nice to tell people what you're doing if you want them to be able to join you, but I don't want to pressure anyone or organize their whole trips for them or anything. Simple is better in my book too- less stress!

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Thanks for all the great advice!! It really is a big help. I think I will make sure that every OOT bag has a brochure with all excursions available. My FI and I will be wingin' it. We definetly know we will be doing one excursion and will let everyone know that one and maybe plan a group thing. The rest will be word of mouth. You will be hearing from me, I will be following the Keep it simple rule though! Thanks Again!

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I think you're on the right track Kimmy. We have the odd things planned for our guests, but nothing major. We want to do a welcome breakfast/brunch just because we have people traveling from three different provinces and my parents have never met FI's parents etc! Otherwise, we'd been asking if our guests wanted to do a day trip as a group, just so that we could be sure that there was at least *something* we tried to do with everyone other than the ceremony, but it won't be an obligation to anyone that doesn't want to go. I think it's a great idea to let people know what you and FI will be up to so that everyone can make up their minds to join you or not along the way.

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I totally agree with not obligating your guests to a specific itineary for their trip. The way I see it is that most will use this as a vacation and will want to participate in the extra activities either some, all or none of them. I put on my website what our plans are activities and that all are welcome to join but its not mandatory.

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Its okay not to plan for your guests. I think the welcome dinner and the wedding itself is enough. People will probably gather in small groups to go out together anyway. You may want to have a list of things for them to do in the area. Remember, they are on vacation and may not want to do group activities every day.

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hi! I wouldn't plan your guests entire vacation. They are spending money to go on vacation and to celebrate your day with you. SO events on your wedding day is totally cool. But besides that if they want to do anything else, I would let them plan it and have their vacation as well.

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I dont think its rude at all... I went to a DW in Mayand it was great that we weren't tied down with agendas. If the couple wanted everyone to go out it was spread by word of mouth, who wanted to go went and who didn't want to go didn't.... We are going to tell everybody to meet at one of the dining places the night before, but I won't be planning their vacations for them...

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I don't think it is rude either. At the destination wedding I went to early this year, the bride and groom had a rehearsal dinner on Friday (people arrived either Thursday or Friday), afternoon ceremony and cocktail party on Saturday, dinner at one of the restaurants for a reception Saturday night. They also spread the word that there was an optional cruise on Sunday afternoon, but we decided not to go.

 

Otherwise, people kind of split up and formed their own groups for activites (snorkeling, eating, going on excursions). There were ~35 people, and this was at an all inclusive, so it was easier this way. It was nice being able to run into people you knew and could talk to on the beach or at the buffet. It might be harder with people spread out at different hotels or villas.

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There's nothing rude about that, I only plan on having a welcome dinner and the wedding day set for them, everything else is up to them. I'm providing them with links and information on the area and what to do and even have a section on my website that states that we understand this is their vacation to so we have decided not to plan a lot of activities to take up their time so that they can explore and relax for themselves.

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It's not rude at all!! Some people, if not most will even appreciate that you're not planning their week. After all, this is also a vacation for them and tehy may want to do their own thing. I know my mom loves to sight see but my future mother in law just wants to lay out on the beach, my cousins & siblings want to drink & party:) Everyone wants to do different things. If you plan everything out, people feel obligated to do what you want them to do.

 

I'm planning a welcome cocktail reception and a rehearsal dinner - that is IT! From there everyone can do what they choose. My cousins have had a few destination weddings the past two years and they didn't plan anything but we had the absolute time of our lives!!

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