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Is it rude not to plan the entire weekend for my guests?


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#1 KimmyD

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    Posted 26 October 2009 - 02:25 PM

    HELP! I am really not very good at planning events and I really wanted to elope, but my FI really wants to do a destination wedding. I was wondering if it would be rude to just give guests the OOT bags, have an informal welcome dinner and a simple ceremony? I see people doing programs and itinerary's etc... We have both been married before and feel that we just want a simple beach ceremony.

    Thanks!
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    #2 ldeavila

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      Posted 26 October 2009 - 02:36 PM

      I hope it's not rude because I was planning to do the same!!! I really don't want to tie down my guest to doing group activities. My FI and I are planning on only having a welcome dinner for our guest. We are providing OOT bags and will include a guide that I will put together that has all sorts of info on activities that they can do.
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      #3 SuzyQ76

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        Posted 26 October 2009 - 02:41 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by KimmyD
        HELP! I am really not very good at planning events and I really wanted to elope, but my FI really wants to do a destination wedding. I was wondering if it would be rude to just give guests the OOT bags, have an informal welcome dinner and a simple ceremony? I see people doing programs and itinerary's etc... We have both been married before and feel that we just want a simple beach ceremony.

        Thanks!
        It's not rude at all!! I am the same as you, I want it simple simple simple!!!
        Unfortunately I'm not getting what I want, both our families are big and now it's a huge reunion to boot! You can get totally sidetracked with all the ideas on this forum but just stick to what you want!
        Most guests want to just enjoy their vacation the way they want and then attend your wedding, I think your plan is perfect!

        I am doing an itinerary but ONLY because we have our week set out for us, and because I got the idea off this forum! lol so I've included what my FI and I are planning to do on a brochure and noted that if you (guests) would like to attend you are welcome too, but if you chose not to - that's fine too! We'll see you at the ceremony!

        I'm not doing decor, centerpieces, flowers, anything like that. I'm doing OOT bags, and that is my Thank You for coming and spending your money! lol
        I might do a couple table favors, but that even might get nixed other than the stuff I've already bought.

        Just make sure you enjoy it and do what you want, I've read that a lot of brides said it's better not to plan too much for your guests because people might feel obligated to do everything even if they don't want to!

        Good luck and keep it simple - you'll enjoy yourself much more - let the resort and the surroundings speak for themselves!! There will be lots to do without planning anything! :o)
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        #4 Erika J

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          Posted 26 October 2009 - 02:44 PM

          I think it depends on the travel experience level of your guests.

          All of my guests are well traveled and want to "do thier own thing", they would never want to have a fully planned itinerary.

          #5 big3n09

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            Posted 26 October 2009 - 02:49 PM

            I agree with Erika J, knowing your guest and what they will expect or are expecting should help you decide what to plan. I don't plan on making plans for my guest but I will have some things planned that they can participate in if they like. I am anticipating that they will have or find things to do on their own as well. But no it's not rude!
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            #6 DanielleNDerek

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              Posted 26 October 2009 - 02:49 PM

              I definately dont think its rude. I'm sure some of your guests would definately love to do their own thing. Plus when everyone gets down there they might end up planning group excursions on their own. my guests did that, my fil likes to snorkle and so do my dh's aunts and uncles, so my fil just asked around to my family if anyone wanted to do the snorkle trip make sure you sign up at the tour desk at the resort. its that simple. What i did do for my guests was make a travel booklet that had some of the possible excursions they might be interested in and if they were i told them just to see to the tour desk at the resort. Your guests will be fine. I wouldnt worry about it at all.
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              #7 autjo

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                Posted 26 October 2009 - 02:52 PM

                I agree that it isn't rude. We are giving the guests our itinerary and they can join us if they like.

                #8 ACDCDCAC

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                Posted 26 October 2009 - 03:17 PM

                i was going to say the same thing as danielle, most of your guests will think of the trip as their vacation too so they might have things they are looking forward to. no need to stress over planning their vacation when you've got your wedding to plan! just let them handle it, the welcome packet idea ahead of time is a good idea. maybe just give them some ideas and let them run with it.

                or just plan your trip, and let everyone know what you're doing/what days/where etc and let them book their excursions and activities with you.

                #9 michelle6114

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                  Posted 26 October 2009 - 03:43 PM

                  The only plans in advance we made with everyone was dinner the night before, and the wedding itself, of course. However we all ran in to each other several times throughout the day at the buffets and ended up sitting together. My MIL though she had to spend the entire trip with us and it got annoying. By the end of the week we were ready to ship everyone off just so we could have time alone. There definitely is a such thing as too much together-ness.

                  #10 IrishgirlinNY

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                    Posted 26 October 2009 - 03:52 PM

                    I only have in mind of planning a welcome dinner the first night everyone comes in and, if possible, a rehearsal. Everyone that is coming are on vacation. I want them to enjoy the pool, food, drinks and each other. Everyone that is coming knows someone else that will be there that they can spend time with. That was one thing I was a little worried about. What if one of my friends that doesnt have a boyfriend or girlfriend comes and doesnt know anyone else? It actually looks as if it will all balance out. Guess it does come down to is coming and what they are like.




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