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IrishgirlinNY

AHR or no AHR??

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We decided against it. I don't really see the need-it's either have a DW wedding or don't and do it at home...basically the same thing to me. We invited everyone we normally would have to our DW (about 200) and have 50 people coming to Mexico. It just seems like an extra stress and expense that I didn't want to deal with.

Personal choice though. I think and AHR would be fun just not for me.

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We are having a semi-formal AHR. It started out as a casual party, but once FMIL added her opinion (and checkbook, lol) it turned into more of a traditional reception. I'm excited about being able to celebrate with all the people that won't be able to attend our DW, and I love that I'll get to wear my dress again. However I'm trying not to stress about the details too much, because I have a feeling once the DW is over, I'm not going to care as much about all the little things that seem like such a big deal right now.

 

I really think that's the beauty of a DW - all the rules go out the window!! No one "expects" anything to be a certian way, and you have flexibility and creativity with planning both your DW as well as the AHR (if you decide to have one).

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Are you having one?

We were but now aren't 100% decided.

I just really am not feeling an AHR anymore, b/c of the added expense, stress and drama. But so many family members are unable to attend (like none of FI's siblings can make it over only 2 of his cousins and his parents). And so many have been asking if we are doing one. I'm shooting for a New Year's Eve party just to show the video, pictures and have hors d'oeuvres. FMIL offered to have it at a rec center and pay but failed to ask me or run it by me first. I told my fiance it would be nice if she asked first but I NEVER heard mention I was COMPLETELY turned off by a rec center wedding anyways esp one where I wouldn't be included in much of the planning which is what it seemed like.

 

Formal or casual?

I wouldn't want it to be too formal. If I had my way I'd really just have a New Year's Eve party.

 

What made you decide to have one if you are?

What's turning me off and away from it is what was my main drive for the DW, the added expense and stress. I love my friends and family but...I dunno, I just don't want to be bothered.

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We got married with literally just parents and siblings, had our honeymoon, and then had our reception 2 weeks later.

 

I wouldn't have changed the way we did it - but for some reason forgot that it meant I would have to pay for photographer, hair and makeup twice. Also, had to get my dress cleaned in between the wedding and the reception. All of the extras do add up. But we both loved the way we planned it, and had nice tans at the AHR to boot!

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Are you having one? yes- we have 60 people joining us in Jamaica and probably 80 in Florida (where we live)

 

Formal or casual? medium.. rented a beach side reception hall and re-wearing the wedding clothes (no groomsmen bridesmaids will be there), but doing a Caribbean theme (rum punch, jerk chicken etc) and having a DJ

 

What made you decide to have one if you are? FI and I didnt want one to begin with but initially the parentals were kind of sad to have a DW, because a lot of their local friends would be unable to make the journey... thus we started out... We thought we'd have something really casual at my parents house but then that became too much "work" and so I just rented somewhere (and am trying do keep it simple causal and our style (as opposed to my moms)

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We havenâ€t decided on it yet. I would like one, but my FI doesnâ€t. He doesnâ€t have a lot of family so it would be a lot of people on my side and I have a big family so he would feel uncomfortable so it looks like a no for us. If we do it would be a casual one. More like a summer BBQ.

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Hey irishgirl!

 

Are you having one? - YES

Formal or casual? - FANCY CASUAL - IF THAT MAKES SENSE - SUNDRESSES AND USING GLASSWARE, ETC

What made you decide to have one if you are? - MY FIANCE HAS 4 STEP SIBLINGS THAT WE KNOW COULD NOT ATTEND DUE TO COST. I HAVE ONLY 4 COUSINS THAT I DID NOT INVITE TO MEXICO. SO, IT JUST MADE SENSE TO HAVE THE STATESIDE RECEPTION FOR EVERYONE WE WERE NOT INVITING TO MEXICO.

 

I do have to say that my Dad is paying for a lot of my wedding and local reception. I am sure we'd still have a party afterwards, but I think it might have been smaller (like only family), and at a restaurant. We are having a catered party at a club house on the Chesapeake Bay for 100-110 people.

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Oh yeah - and FI's mom definitely wanted to invite her "crew" to the AHR. I love their friends and when the 5th out of 6 kids got married 2 years ago, they kept asking us when they get to go to the final kid's wedding. I would have felt bad not having something with them.

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I don't think we are having one but it's due mostly to logistics. We live in San Antonio right now and all of our friends/family live up in the Boston area. So an AHR would be a destination reception for us!

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Thanks to everyone for their input. We are leaning towards not having an AHR. We decided to invite all relatives and friends. We originally were just inviting the 35ish people we know are coming. Now we are inviting everyone we would if we got married here in NY. Our main problem is that we are paying for the whole thing and I think if we had an AHR it would be like two weddings. Thanks again for all the info.

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