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AHR or no AHR??

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#1 IrishgirlinNY

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  • 938 posts

    Posted 25 October 2009 - 07:20 PM

    Hi everyone

    As I have been reading more threads and info on this site, it seems like most people have an AHR. I had never even thought of having one or heard about one before. I just wanted to do a quick survey...

    Are you having one?
    Formal or casual?
    What made you decide to have one if you are?

    Thanks as usual for all your input.

    #2 ddiinnyyeell

    • Jr. Member
    • 226 posts

      Posted 25 October 2009 - 07:26 PM

      I am having a semi-formal AHR

      We decided to have one because we didn't invite everyone to the wedding.

      I kinda wish I would have invited everyone to the wedding and not done the AHR. I feel like it's an added stress I don't want and an extra bill I don't feel like dealing with.

      On the positive side, I like that I get to have a second party and wear my dress again.

      It's all about the pros and cons. I think in some ways it's great and in others it's just a head ache. I know a lot of brides loved having their AHR. I'm sure I'll be happy once it gets here and I have a good time but right now (1 day before we leave for wedding) I just wish we only had the wedding to think about!!
      Danielle & John
      Aventura Spa Palace
      October 30, 2009

      Wedding Photos By Bella Luce Photography

      #3 lara&mike

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      • 97 posts

        Posted 25 October 2009 - 07:54 PM

        We have not 100% decided. If we do it will just be a an informal gathering in our backyard, bbq style. I personally am going away so i dont have to deal with the formalities of a wedding and having to invite people that i dont think *need* to be at my wedding. That's just my inner bitch coming out though ;-) (She's been coming out alot lately!! HAHA). Pretty much everyone I would want at my wedding is coming, except 4 people or so. So really, it's not a big deal. I dont think serving people a meal equates with them feeling like they were involved in the day. A video showing would be nice, but still, not the same. To me, weddings are not about making everyone else happy, they are about the couple. I think you should be able to do what you want, not what is "supposed" to happen. I think it's totally dependent on your personality, and how many people that you actually want at the wedding can make it down to celebrate with you. I'm just not into the extra fuss, organizing, and money that comes with one!!

        #4 punkie569

        • Jr. Member
        • 255 posts

          Posted 30 October 2009 - 03:30 PM

          I wanted a VERY small ceremony so that meant only immediate family and a select few friends were invited. That also meant lots of people weren't invited that felt left out. I hadn't heard of AHRs until this forum and I thought it'd be a good solution. This way we get to celebrate with everyone and stretch out the wedding abit longer. We are only doing an appetizer buffet at a small restaurant. I didn't want to go the formal route because then I figured I might as well just get married here if I was doing a whole wedding just without the ceremony. To me being casual meant we can mingle more and we'll have a table with our pictures/video set up so everyone can see.

          I think everyone and their situation is different so don't feel you have to have an AHR if you don't want. I know for a lot of brides it's just not the in the budget. We compromised with our parents and said we'd pay for the wedding if they'd take care of the reception and they agreed. Otherwise I don't think we could afford both.
          Two lives, two hearts joined together in friendship united forever in love

          #5 KRama

          • Jr. Member
          • 421 posts

            Posted 30 October 2009 - 04:00 PM

            We're having one and I'm really excited about it! We've been to so many weddings where the bride and groom don't even really get a chance to enjoy their day because they spend so much time trying to catch up with all their guests. That's why we decided to just invite immediate family and close friends (~ 40 people) to Mexico so we have an entire week to spend with everyone. That being said, we both have large extended families and many more friends that we want to include in the festivities so we always knew we'd have an AHR. We're having a cocktail reception at a community hall with a carribean themed appetizer buffet and lots of dancing. I'm wearing my dress again and the wedding party are wearing their outfits so it still feels like a wedding. I don't find it a hassle at all to plan since I'm still 6 months out from my DW and don't have much to decide until 3 months before.

            I know a lot of brides on here are pressured into having one but you really need to decide if it's right for you and your man!

            #6 shellk

            • Sr. Member
            • 1,784 posts

              Posted 30 October 2009 - 04:10 PM

              we are having an informal mexican themed ahr for our family and friends because they won,t be attending our wedding.

              #7 Trimalusta

              • Jr. Member
              • 186 posts

                Posted 03 November 2009 - 01:37 PM

                I don't WANT to have an AHR and especially PLAN an AHR. My fiance and I really just want our private wedding with (less than 30 ) family and close friends on the beach and a relaxing vacation. Which we have booked and sent out STDs! However our MOTHERS have other plans. I told my mother that if she wants to PLAN and PAY for an AHR, that is fine, but I want it to be a "surprise." I will give her names of people to invite (she made her list of 50 when I got engaged) and she can do all the planning she wants. I know that if I was involved, it would be too MUCH more time and stress than I'm willing to have. I also like things a certain way, so this way, we won't fight on anything because I won't be involved! I'm not getting married until 2011, so this is still on the back burner, but I know she's ready to start planning. Oh well, i wanted to get that off my chest!

                Beaches Negril, 9/24/2011.

                #8 SheriB

                • Member
                • 597 posts

                  Posted 16 November 2009 - 01:35 PM

                  I am struggling with this question right now. I think we do have to some kind of AHR but I can't seem to keep it from feeling too formal. I would really like to have a very small, intimate wedding and then the big party at home with the 200 plus guests that my family and FI's family think need to be invited. But then my FI thinks that anyone who wants to come to our DW should be able to. I've tried to explain that at least to me that defeats the purpose of us going away and if we do that then why are we also spending tons of money to have the party at home!

                  #9 Girasole

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                  • 757 posts

                    Posted 16 November 2009 - 08:02 PM

                    We decided against an AHR. Initially we were going to have one but my cousin got engaged shortly after we did & is getting married the week after we get home. At her wedding we will see almost everyone and get to celebrate with her. I am sure, knowing my mom (ha), we will have some small party when we get home with close friends that couldn't join us.
                    Chrissy & Jeremiah's Blog with Pictures...


                    #10 *Linds*

                    • Sr. Member
                    • 5,776 posts

                      Posted 16 November 2009 - 08:35 PM

                      I am having a semi-formal AHR with all of the traditional practices of a traditional reception. It will be just like our guests didn't attend our ceremony. We chose to do this because there will be a large number of friends/family members that will not be joining us in Mexico. This allows us to really have the best of both worlds! A wedding in paradise and a celebration at home with everyone we love!
                      Loving married life! <3

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