Mom just informed me they wont go to mexico
Posted 11 October 2009 - 01:33 PM
I completely understand your reservations about traveling in general and/or traveling to Mexico - we do not want any of our guests to feel uncomfortable at our wedding, you know we would absolutely love to have you there with us on our special day but this has always been our dream and we will think of you while we're there!
My FI and my families are a funny blend - his are all world travelers (His father is from the Philippines) and my family are pretty much all country bumpkins with the exception of a few! I think everyone on this forum has received the finance speech - and I totally understand, I'm a budget bride trying to keep things manageable for us too!!
I find myself praying that there won't be any media coverage of any "bad happenings" in Mexico just so no more family members get nervous and back out!!
The worst excuse I've had:
My brother who has lived in the USA for the past 10 years (who is walking me down the isle since my dad isn't with us anymore) decided on SEPTEMBER 11th that due to the hijacking in Cancun recently he will not be taking the rest of his family with him (his daughters were my flower girls and his wife my photographer) Now he told me this on September 11th...he was in the States at the time of this awful day that everyone will forever remember. I freaked, and told him do not use that excuse on this day you can use any excuse but not that one.
So HE is still coming but has informed me that he will not leave the resort and will not join us on any excursions - good thing I love him, but he's going to miss out on a lot of good times!!
So I hope it all works out for e everyone, I know I still have my fingers crossed that people will change their mentalities, but in the end it's our decision and it's what we want - if it was just going to be FI and I we would still do the same thing!
Good Luck and stick with your heart - that's what will keep you happy in the end. Whatever you feel you need to go with your gut, if you need your mom there and you can't do it without her then you may have to change your plans - but if changing your plans is out of the question: there's your answer.
Posted 11 October 2009 - 05:51 PM
My mom and i have a rocky relationship...so I'm not too suprised with her. What upsets me the most though is if she doesn't go, then my siblings on that side (parents are divorced) will not be going and I really wanted them in the wedding. due to my mom, my siblings and I arn't as close and I would like, and they are young and unfortunately belief some bs she has told them (long story, but when I was a teenager I moved in with just my dad and that family, and she told them lies about why I moved and pretty much just cause I didnt love them... which of course is not true). So really for me, the hard part is that I really wanted them in it and my mom and i have been working on our relationship so I thought it'd get better.
She wants me to have like two weddings. one with each family. Which is not going to happen!
As for her not coming to mexico, she just said its a "hassle", and she also just doesn't like mexico. she is freaked out about the violence and drug wars going on there
I was thinking about saying fine, and doing it at home town. BEcause one of the important things for me is having my siblings in it.
But i also know we have our heart set on a DW in mexico, and if i change all that because its just too much of a "hassle" for her, then I will probably unfortunately hold a bit of that against her forever. Which i don't want to do.
thank you all again for the comments! they did help and made me realize it is really what we want to do.
I just wish my siblings could be there.
Posted 11 October 2009 - 10:37 PM
Posted 12 October 2009 - 12:17 AM
Here's another piece of reassurance for you: My sister's friend is having a traditional wedding in St. Louis next weekend. She is pretty stressed out and has told my sister that she wishes she was having a DW like me. Sometimes we get caught up in the difficulty of planning this type of wedding, but just remember there would be issues if you did it in the states as well.
Anyway, good luck and hopefully all the BDW support has helped ease your mind. This is such an awesome place to vent!!
Posted 12 October 2009 - 03:14 PM
Posted 12 October 2009 - 03:52 PM
Posted 12 October 2009 - 10:49 PM
Ldeeken- they are too young to travel by themselves . But I'm hoping I can get them to come.
Doing it in my hometown is still an option, but I have to say its a pretty small one. I jsut feel like we would be resentful about it just because she doesnt want to deal with traveling and all that.
thefuturemrs.slutz- I understand what you mean, I feel guilty asking people to spend all that money to!
shellk- I think I would regret not having a DW wedding. I mean, there are somethings we can do at my hometown that would be great- like more of our friends could go, more dancing etc (and the sibling things). But over all, I think we would regret not doing it on the beach. At first I was totally against a DW wedding, but then started thinking about it and really fell in love with the idea. So, I could make it good if we did it at home to, but yes I do think a little part of me would always regret not doing DW.
So I dont know. Like I said, I could find the positive in either sit. But I know that I'll always wish I had pictures on the beach and having a wedding there. I also think I would always be sad though if my siblings didn't get to be in it at all.
Posted 13 October 2009 - 01:04 PM
If you did this they could still celebrate.
Posted 13 October 2009 - 02:58 PM
We wanted to keep our ceremony very small so we also had to exclude some family/friends from coming and that created all sorts of issues too. Our only compromise is that we are having an AHR so we can still celebrate with our family/friends that aren't with us in Mexico. That seems to have settled things down abit. Really what it comes down to though is you do everything you can to make you happy first and the rest will be what it is. If everyone isn't happy then they can have their own wedding and do what they want. Leave the drama at home! Good luck with everything!
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