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Probably old but STILL funny!


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#1 ~*Kathy*~

~*Kathy*~
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    Posted 02 October 2009 - 01:07 PM

    Just got these in an email and couldn't resist sharing them with brides and the married ladies of BDW, enjoy!

    Kathy
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Marriage (Part I )
    Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
    'I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
    I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
    I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
    I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
    I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
    when I want with my old buddies, and don't you
    give me a hard time about it.
    Those are my rules. Any comments?'

    His new bride said:
    'No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not.'

    (DARN SHE'S GOOD!)
    ************************************************
    Marriage (Part II)


    Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
    The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
    that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!'

    'Yeah?' she replies. 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
    that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!'

    (HE ASKED FOR IT!)


    *****************************************

    Marriage (Part III)


    Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

    Husband gets up in a rage and says, 'And you are no
    good in bed either,' and storms out of the house.

    After some time he realizes he was nasty and
    decides to make amends and rings her up.

    She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, 'What took you so long to answer to the phone?'
    She says, 'I was in bed.'

    'In bed this early, doing what?'

    'Getting a second opinion!'

    (YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)

    *****************************************

    Marriage (Part IV)


    A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.

    He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his
    wife,' Mother of Six' in spite of her objections.

    One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home Mother of Six?'

    His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
    shouts right back, 'Any time you're ready, Father of Four..'

    (RIGHT ON, LADY!)

    *****************************************

    THE SILENT TREATMENT

    A man and his wife were having some problems at home
    and were giving each other the silent treatment.

    Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife
    to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

    Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.

    The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
    was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

    Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

    (MEN ARE JUST NOT EQUIPPED FOR THESE KINDS OF CONTESTS!)

    #2 *Heather*

    *Heather*

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      Posted 02 October 2009 - 01:11 PM

      Amazing. I had read some of those but forgotten them. Thanks Kathy! Good Friday laugh

      #3 autjo

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        Posted 02 October 2009 - 01:12 PM


        Thanks for the Friday giggle!

        #4 YaelM

        YaelM

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          Posted 02 October 2009 - 01:13 PM

          haha I havent heard those before - thanks for the good laughs :)

          #5 bride2b10

          bride2b10
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            Posted 02 October 2009 - 01:17 PM

            Hahahah too funny!!! Thank you :)
            http://tickers.Ticke....6cca/event.png

            21 Booked + Bride & Groom!!!

            #6 vlynnw

            vlynnw
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              Posted 02 October 2009 - 01:25 PM

              haha those are cute!
              Veronica & Adam - May 6, 2011 - Dreams Tulum

              #7 emme

              emme
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                Posted 02 October 2009 - 01:33 PM

                Mother of 6...Father of 4
                http://tickers.Ticke....d6f6/event.png

                Bride + Groom + 44 Amazing Guests...

                #8 *Lo*

                *Lo*
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                  Posted 02 October 2009 - 01:49 PM

                  Haha thanks Kathy! It reminded me that we are always one step ahead!

                  #9 Ms325i

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                    Posted 03 October 2009 - 09:49 AM

                    These are truly FUNNIES! Thanks for sharing.

                    #10 SusieQ

                    SusieQ
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                      Posted 03 October 2009 - 10:46 AM

                      Oh their "Priceless" lol




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