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Saving your money by taking guest's money!!!

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15 replies to this topic

#1 slapsappyhappy

  • Jr. Member
  • 443 posts

    Posted 12 September 2009 - 10:00 PM

    I am sorry, but today I was complaining about how expensive weddings are in NY and how if I have one in Mexico I can have a nice one for cheaper and she said, " of course you can because you are saving yourself money by passing the costs on to the guests." I was so mad I had to stop and take a deep breath, I wanted to curse her out and tell her not to come then....

    Why do people think we are being selfish by having a destination wedding? I travel all around the world I want something different not a boring catering hall wedding! I don't want gifts, I just want a fun vacation with friends and I am getting crucified at every family party about how Mexico is so dangerous and how I am being selfish thinking that people can afford to go in this economy!!!! Just don't come if it is such a big problem!!!!!!! I have not even told half of my friends yet because I know I will get a negative reaction. The fact that I had to justify by pretending I was even thinking of having a wedding at home bothers me, I should not have to justify it to anyone. I hate having to be nervous and not tell people because I am worried how they will react!!!! I am happy about it and so is my FI!!! I am glad you all understand, how can I be strong and proud? any suggestions?

    #2 damaris

    • Jr. Member
    • 462 posts

      Posted 12 September 2009 - 10:10 PM

      People always are afraid of trying something new, when truth be told the ones that make it to your wedding will be singing your praises when thet get back. It will be the best and most fun wedding they have attended. I simply tell the nay sayers to think of it as a vacation and open their minds to new things.


      #3 Sheree10

      • Sr. Member
      • 1,026 posts

        Posted 13 September 2009 - 05:30 PM

        I understand, there are so many negative people out there. If it's too expensive and they can't afford it then they can stay home. My FI are having the first DW in both of our families. Initially my mom wasn't too thrilled but when we told her that's the plan she jumped right on board. My FI's parents expressed their disagreement. Even after we booked the venue and ordered the STDs FMIL said that she will begin looking into venues locally because SHE felt it would be cheaper in the States.

        I'm so glad that FI and I made our decision and stuck with it. We did it because it;s what WE want and what's the best for us. A local wedding for us would have had a guest list of at least 300ppl and would be like a circus.

        BRIDE + GROOM + 60 GUESTS!!

        #4 itsfinallyhere

        • Member
        • 573 posts

          Posted 13 September 2009 - 09:18 PM

          Please try not to worry about it. There are always going to be people who will disagree or be unable to go. We too had to face this decision. But when we deided we figure it was spend the money on a trip for our family. Or spend 2 or 3 times the amount on one here for people who would not otherwise bother to come. The people that mean the most to us are coming, andthe others well, they are missing out. I hope it is a cold a bitter winter for them! LOL But doin it here is it then for others or for you? I love to travel so this is another opportunity to do that! It may not be the wedding I've always dreamed of, bit instead I am given a fantasy wedding I never dreamed possible. That makes others jealous. Of course you don't expect gift at this type of event. Their presence is enough. The memories are unfortgetable for you and your guests. They complain because it is inconvient for them. On this day of all days do what you and your FI want. Forget eveybody else. They can have anyother day but this one. Good luck.

          #5 SSNM

          • Member
          • 675 posts

            Posted 14 September 2009 - 12:20 AM

            I am sorry that you are experiencing this from your friends. I have had similar comments made to me and my response has always been that unless you are the groom, your presence is not necessary -- appreciated -- but not necessary. I am the one paying for the wedding and I will do it as I see fit for my budget and my tastes. Why cater a local wedding for 300+ people just so they can eat and be hungry tomorrow?

            Furthermore, many people travel to be at weddings. I had to go to England, Jamaica, and the USA to attend "local" weddings an no one paid for my travel and accomodations -- and I didn't even get a vacation out of it like your guests will at your DW!

            #6 NyBeachBride

            • Jr. Member
            • 295 posts

              Posted 14 September 2009 - 12:51 AM

              girl all i can say is DO U...if thats what u want, then do it...who ever doesnt come, its their lost....people like to act like its their day...and honestly, they are not payign for anything of yours, they are payign for a vacation!!! and if they happen not to want to go on vacation then they dont have too...and u know what if u give people a year to save up it really souldnt be a problem...people just like to be negative whether its at home or a DW...people alwya have somethign to say so just do what makes u happy!

              #7 SusieQ

              • Sr. Member
              • 1,603 posts

                Posted 14 September 2009 - 01:58 AM

                Yeah like the earlier post... people always try to find the negative in everything... My FI and I have both been married before and we didn't want the big catered hall venue. We both love to travel and would be totally happy if it was just us and both of our kids there. Right now we have 16 booked and I have to say I am a little shocked by who has come on board and who hasn't yet. Needless to say I have 16 and hoping for more, those who don't can stay home and shovel their driveway while we party in the sun. Some people have no social filter.... I think it I say it.....Don't let it get to you... if you had th big hall and dinner at home... someone would conplain about that too, oh it so expensive and oh I am so stressed with all the details..... Whatever.... It's Your day

                #8 islandbride317

                • Sr. Member
                • 1,866 posts

                  Posted 14 September 2009 - 02:28 AM

                  I say FORGET 'EM!

                  If anyone doesn't like it, then they ought to have the good sense to keep their opinions to themselves, and if they don't, just tell them you're sorry they feel that way, but it's YOUR DAY and if they want to participate, then they need to just keep quiet and be happy for you. I have told everyone that while we would love for everyone to be able to come, we understand that not everyone will be able to make it, and that we'll be sure to invite them to our AHR, and people seem to be pretty ok with that.

                  As far as I am concerned, people ARE going on a kick a** vacation, and oh by the way, we're also getting married, too, which makes it a pretty cool plan all around! I WOULD JUST TELL PEOPLE THAT THIS IS A PERSONAL DECISION YOU HAD TO MAKE AND A TRADITIONAL WEDDING IS NOT FOR EVERYONE!

                  #9 Lady_Di

                  • Sr. Member
                  • 5,078 posts

                    Posted 14 September 2009 - 11:54 AM

                    Yeah, i'm sure every one of us experience that...my FI's sister is not too happy with us having a DW. she would be like "why are you making the guests to pay $$$ to go to your wedding?" whatever!

                    it is me and him, not for anyone else. I DO NOT want a traditional wedding, period!

                    #10 ChelseaRose

                    • Newbie
                    • 139 posts

                      Posted 14 September 2009 - 12:01 PM

                      Don't worry too much about what others think. Like the other DW brides out there have said already, this was a personal decision that you and your FI made. If they can make it, great, if not, then that's ok too. By hosting a destination wedding, we as brides are taking the risk of not having those closest to us attend. If people are not able to attend because they don't agree with your idea, they won't have a good time when they are there and those aren't the type of people you want to celebrate this huge milestone in your life anyway! Be yourself, and do what makes you happy!!!

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