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BlissfulMsMiranda

Am I being the psycho new wife?

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I'm glad you were able to talk and finally communicate with him... Communication is one of the most important (and sometimes hardest) things in a relationship.. I know it can be easier to keep things in and let things slide, but then it just builds up and turns into an even bigger problem..

But, I still don't trust this Katie chick - I think it's a good idea to get a session of your own and see how she is.. I know you trust your husband (which you should), but I just wouldn't want my husband in certain situations regardless of how much I trust him KWIM?? Then again, he would hopefully remove himself from the situation before it got to that.. but don't ignore your gut feelings... Good luck :)

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I dont think you are being psycho at all. I would not be impressed if that was happening with my FI. I probably would have made him change physiotherapist, especially after being disrespectful by making me wait 45 minutes!! I mean at first, I guess it's not right to make him switch just cuz of your jealousy, but by "chatting" with the girl for that long, that is being disrespectful. I think it is definitely important that you two talk about this, and don't be scared to tell him how you feel!

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Thanks again ladies - I will definitely be working on my communication from now on. And WILL be booking with little Ms. Katie in the future ... so I'll be sure to fill you all in on her when we're one-on-one.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by JOSIE View Post
Miranda- I'm sorry I'm JUST now responding.......hellova day at work for me. I am so glad (and proud) that you put it ALL out there. The main reason is because I guarantee Colin would not have woken up one day and realized HOW much you do and HOW LITTLE response he's been giving. At the beginning of my relationship with Jason, I did little things for him all the time, like left him notes on his car, cleaned it off for him in the winter and it was covered with snow (bc i leave earlier), buy him little gifts, and I did all this hoping he'd think I was the COOLEST girl ever and would offer me some kind of verbal or physical praise or even maybe reciprocate and do little things for me. It totally backfired on me. When we ended up talking he told me that he likes a few things here and there, but i did so much that it made him feel inadequit and he had no idea how to respond....I realized I was just over-doing it hoping for some subconcious realization on his part and all I had to do in the first place was ASK.

 

Sorry for the long story, I can just totally relate to you! Just this morning I was feeling stressed because sometimes it feels like i do EVERYTHING and Jason skates through life doing the basics and he doesnt even care if the house is messy or not. By the time I'm done cleaning and organizing, and can finally relax, its 9PM...so frustrating!

 

What I found was the BIGGEST help in my own relationship was the beautiful art of PREFACING. We'd have a conversation where he'd say "I'm sorry babe, I'll definitely make more of an effort to help you" and my response is always: "Thanks so much, I really appreciate that, I just want you to know that in the future I'm gonna give you little reminders if I feel like I need more help and you're not giving, so don't get upset with me!" I say something to the effect of, "I'm warning you in advance that if you don't uphold your end of the bargin, I'm going to keep you in check, and I expect you to do the same for me."

 

This has seriously worked miracles for me! Now I can bring stuff up and he doesnt get mad (because i warned) and there are times when he does it to me and I'm grateful for it. He puts me in my place when deserved and if he didn't I think I'd only be considering my perspective. I hope you guys can do this for eachother :) and I'm glad you had a great convo with DH and figured out your own feelings and where they were stemming from!

 

PS: I still hate Katie....hahahaha

Josie you are a doll ... and that's EXACTLY how it's always been with Colin and I. At the beginning I would always get him little cards, make his bed for him if he was out and I got to his house before him, etc. etc. And yeah, I think he just got into this routine where I'd do EVERYTHING and he'd just sit and take it.

 

Well, not anymore.

 

I think I did warn him last night ... amongst all the tears I managed to blubber about not being able to continue like this and saying that I would be asking him to help out more than usual, and that I'd WANT him to volunteer to help, and not get huffy if I asked ... so I hope that got through to him.

 

I'll have to bring it up again when I'm less emotional. Hehehe

 

I think it made me cry more when I actually said I felt like he didn't care about me ... the look on his face was such hurt, I actually felt bad for saying it out loud ... but clearly, I got my message across.

 

Really ... you've all been incredible. To have such a strong support group on a message board is just incredible. You girls ROCK!!!! rockon.gif

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Thanks for the gift girl :) We're just too damn giving! We need to be a little less nice and maybe our boys will clean! lol. But seriously I love this forum and being able to exchange stoies/advice about similar experiences. I know it has really helped me in my times of need and when I'm questioning myself or my actions. Here for you anytime girl and keep me posted on how your sessions with Katie go.

 

Thanks again!

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I am so glad that things worked out for you. I am sure that Colin (love that name, its my son's name too!) will be more attentive. But like all men he will probably need reminding down the road. And sometimes even a kick in the butt! LOL! I think it is a good idea to get to know this "chick". Trust your instincts and remember that famous quote.....

 

"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer."

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I'm so happy to hear that you guys chatted it out and really got down to the bottom of things. Sometimes our issues with other people are actually because we have our own issues. I think most of us go through that at one time or another. Now it's to keep him helping out. I know I have trouble with mine and have to talk to him every once in awhile. His excuse is that he's tired and worked all day. HELLOOO I work all day too dumbass! lol Anyway, you're communication will be much better once you can learn not to hold everything in for so long. Good luck girl! :)

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I just read the post I am so sorry you had to deal with this and I am glad you were able to talk about it! You do have some patience cause if it was me I would of marched right in after 10mins of waiting. My FI and I are like this at times. There is someone in his life he just met a month or so ago that he talks to time to time and I just get jealous like why does she need to text him that much and whatever. I just keep telling myself he loves me and would never cheat on me. He is the type if you say you cant do something he will do it. So I just took a step back and moved on.

If he heart skipped a beat when he realized the time that is a man who knows his wife/fi is upset outside :) hehehe

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I just read the post, I am glad you were able to talk about it. Communication... communication... communication... hard but necessary!!!

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I don't think you are psycho at all. Tell hubby how you feel about it, especially the part where he forgot you were waiting for him. If important to him, he will change his therapist. I will point out that if you feel so strongly about this, you are probably not far off the mark that she could be "potential" trouble down the line if any more cozy sessions take place!

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