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jawedding

Are you paying for your bridesmaids dresses?

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So, I found this thread really interesting. My FI and I were just talking about this. It may be a difference in customs or culture... but I've never, ever even thought of asking my bridesmaids or groomsmen to purchase their own outfits. It would be absolute taboo. He has been in weddings before, will be in weddings over the summer, and he's always bought his own outfit or is expected to buy his own outfit.

 

And before I explain everything, I will also add that FI and I are not rich by any means. We are soooo far from that word... Everything we do is a stretch in our budgets.

 

As I'm asking someone to do me an honor by standing up for me in my wedding, and especially because this is a destination wedding, there was no question I'd be buying my MOH her dresses. (One for the beach ceremony, one for the AHR) In addition, I'm getting my MOH and FI's BM other gifts as well. And, on top of that, all of our guests are getting gifts as well. We know it's going to be hitting our budget, but it's a huge commitment for everyone attending. Time off work, spending their vacay time on you instead of going somewhere else, money to get there and stay there, etc. The MOH and BM plan the bach parties, bridal showers, help you pick out all these details... it's the least we can do. And while some dresses can be worn again, I think we all know some of these dresses won't ever see the light of day again.

 

And, don't get me wrong, I take budgets into account (being on one myself). I know not everyone has tons of money, but I really think you should at least do this for them. I was really surprised to hear that all my FI got to be best man in someone else's wedding was a friggin tie! (And they spent well over 40k on their wedding... and 40 bucks on his tie? And yes, I know my ties well enough to know it was worth 40. And yes, I know it was a 40k wedding bc I have to listen to them complain about the cost every time we see talk to them.)

 

Just my two cents ...

 

 

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I've been BM & MOH a few times and it was half and half on whether or not I paid for the dress. Every time I was in a wedding where we paid for the dress most of the BMs complained amongst each other about having to pay for the dress (esp. when they don't like the dress), cost of wedding, shower, stags etc and these weddings were at home. I couldn't imagine the complaints and b***hing that would go on behind the bride's back if they had to pay to attend the DW PLUS pay for the dress. In our case we will be paying for the dresses. Despite the fact that yes I have been a BM in a few weddings we are only having 2 BM/GM each. MOH will be my sister and BM will be a long time friend. Even if I were having a large group of BMs at my wedding I still would pay for the dresses as they are forking out huge bucks to attend the wedding....

 

Just my opinion anyway 

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I never thought about having my wedding party pay for their own attire because it's my wedding, and they are there for me. Also, with asking people to travel all the way to DR for me, it is the least I can do. On the other hand, I think my sisters (my MOH and BM) see this as one of my bridal responsibilities instead of a generous gesture. I'm afraid to give them their dresses when they come in, because I'm afraid of their ungrateful and hurtful responses.

Sisters can be some of the most important and most aggravating people in one's life.

 

This post has talked me into writing a full MOH vent in another thread... it feels good to get it off my chest.

:) thanks for listening.

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Ditto! But I'm giving mine the option to find a dress that fits their budget, or they can chose to be an honourary bridesmaid and if they don't want to buy a dress they can sit with the rest of the guests (that sounds a lot meaner than I intended,lol, however we were planning a traditional wedding, changed our minds, cost is an issue for some who are travelling and they might prefer being let off the hook with regards to the purchase of a dress).

Originally Posted by baileybutton View Post

I'm not paying for mine. I have stood in loads of weddings and paid for every dress! :)



 

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the one dress that i really like is a quarter of the cost of mine, which i have a problem with. i dont want them paying so much for their dresses, plus i want them in a shorter length so i'm going to take care of alteration cost since im the one that wants the dresses shorter.. ohhh so many decisions!!!

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