Advice to Brides from a MOH

[torywedd]

awwww man, i am so sorry 2 hear that your friend sent her wedding party thru such a fiasco......true indeed, a wedding is every little girls dream, but u really wanna make sure that your guests have a great time as well, meaning spending some xtra cash on your wedding party and small little thank you's 2 everyone may just have 2 come out of your wedding budget.....hey, u did your best being the MOH, and your wedding day isnt far behind 2 do it the right way

[SSNM]

Sounds like this bride was strapped for cash and probably could have been a little more appreciative of your efforts that allowed her wedding to go off the way it did. It's a classic lesson of having appreciation and compassion. I am glad you two were able to work it out though. All the best with your wedding. I, too, am trying to minimize the amount of work my BMs have to do so they don't feel taken advantage of. I think I have been good so far; they won't be paying for their dresses, I am not picky about hair/shoes/make-up so they can do what they see fit, and I am not having them throw me a shower or bachelorette, so really their only job is pretty much to be a soundboard to my ideas and stand for me on the day of...they are all over the planet so I don't see them doing much more than that, so I think they got a good deal going. If it turns out they do end up doing a lot of helping then I will try to budget for another token of appreciation in the form of a gift or an outing of sorts.

[rdhbride]

wow thats crazy!!!! i know we all complain about something but omg thats really crazy!

[taugania]

Unbelievable! I don't even know what else to say......

 

Sounded like you were a pretty kick butt MOH. I would have had a hard time keeping my mouth shut.

[KittenHeart]

Quote:

Originally Posted by taugania Unbelievable! I don't even know what else to say...... Sounded like you were a pretty kick butt MOH. I would have had a hard time keeping my mouth shut.

haha thank you!!! I did have a hard time keeping my mouth shut, that's why I came here to vent which helped a LOT!

[inspiredfyre]

I am so sorry for your less than stellar duties as MOH. You were very gracious not to pummel her before her bridezilla event/wedding! I APPLAUD you for speaking up for MOH's and the bridal party. I honestly hear a lot of complaining from a lot of brides about what they don't do, or aren't doing for the brides, but rarely do we get to hear the other side of them being mistreated, unappreciated, and seriously abused, as you yourself experienced! I've heard of some serious demands, but cleaning up after them? use the money you saved on the bridal party's gifts, and hire someone, cheapos! Sorry.

 

In the long run, if you show her all the appreciation, and gratitude you were never given, it will hopefully show what a bigger person you are, and make her realize her mistakes (if she's a regular human being, and seeing that she must have had some good qualities to be your MOH, i'm sure she's got some civility deep down!) That way, you don't need to get revenge, she will suffer in the way of guilt! Best of luck, sincerely, and I hope everything goes alright! (if it hasn't already, i see this post is a little older!)

 

I didn't speak to a best friend after being her MOH for reasons very similar, and wish friendship didn't have to break over something that should be a wonderful experience!

[KittenHeart]

Thank you inspiredfrye!

 

Fortunately she's never been like that before and isn't like that now so I'm thinking the lack of finances for the wedding itself caused that. To me, I'd bite the bullet and pay a little extra to so people that I appreciate them rather than put in some serious labor.

 

She kinda came around and gave me a long verbal thank you a few weeks after the wedding when things were back to normal and we worked things out so at least it has a happy ending.

 

I myself did learn an important valuable lesson and full intend on showing her the right way to treat a wedding party