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Advice to Brides from a MOH


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#1 KittenHeart

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    Posted 08 June 2009 - 12:49 PM

    This may come off as a bit of a vent... but I wanted to give you ladies perspective from a MOH and how to keep the wedding/bridal party happy (we know, we know it's all about you) but at least don't anger everyone :)

    I was MOH in my best friends wedding over the weekend, it wasn't a DW, it was local.

    #1 - don't be EXTREMELY cheap
    (there's nothing wrong with a budget but be sensible too)

    Each bridesmaid including myself was asked to pay for the hideous pink sash she made us wear which was $16.25... I even politely tried to get her to realize that it was ridiculous she was asking me to collect this money from everyone... she didn't get it, so I dropped it and collected the change.

    I threw her a Bridal Shower on short notice (1 week) because her family was complaining about there being no bridal shower. The bride told me she wanted a HUGE blowout in Vegas, a weekend with 9 girls and her having fun and she DIDN'T want a bridal shower. Once I came to her letting her know that her mother was up my a** about this Bridal Shower she backed up and didn't speak up letting them know she didn't want one. Then complained that no one got her anything for it off the registry telling another bridesmaid this (I just found out) even though EVERYONE bought her gifts for the Naughty and Nice shower I through. Then she didn't send ANYONE thank you cards or emails.

    Two weeks later was the Bachelorette party that cost $3k total... she hardly spent anytime with ME. Whatever...

    I told her after this Vegas Bachelorette that I had to cancel my hair appt. (that's how broke I was) and I could do it beforehand and meet her at the salon. She tells me to come and do it myself at the salon... thanks for not ponying up $50 to help me out... which is fine, she doesn't need to.

    Friday was her rehersal dinner... which was pizza and beer. Neither of which is on most of our diets. Fine... whatever.

    She then gives us our bridesmaids gifts which was an empty frame (cheap) saying picture coming soon and a pen she got for free from her grandpa's company. Everyone got the same thing including me.

    Wedding day - went well, went off without a hitch... until we were taking photos and noticed that all 120 guests were eating dinner. By time we sat down (it was a buffet) the food was cold and there was hardly any left and none left of some of the items. My fiance who attended said that there were these terrific stuffed mushrooms but literally about 50 of them... for 120 people.

    I had 3 minutes after I sat down to eat and read my speech... no one warned me about this.

    It was a karaoke wedding... the BM's and me had been practicing secretly her favorite Beatles song to sing as a dedication to her. She stood there and watched the whole thing then walked away after we were done...!!! No hug, no thank you... walked away!!!

    Fine, dancing, good times, didn't see her most of the night, fine.

    11pm, I'm exhausted by now, about to leave and the Groom asks me to come tomorrow (the wedding was at his bosses house in their giant backyard) and help clean up... WTF!?!?!?!?! They asked the wedding party to janitor this f-ing wedding... I'm SO livid I can't even express it. This whole thing has left me with such a bad taste in my mouth I can't even believe it.

    CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP. I would have let everything slide if they hadn't asked me to be a janitor yesterday... that set me over the edge.

    I just wanted all you brides to understand we are willing to go out of our way and help but PLEASE, I beg of you don't take advantage of the wedding party and please thank them... for everything, even if it's just verbal or a nice email. That's free and very much appreciated.

    Thanks for listening :)

    #2 JaimeLynne

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      Posted 08 June 2009 - 01:03 PM

      OMG!!!!! That sounds like a nightmare or a seriously cruel joke!!!! I'm reading this book "Something Borrowed" by Emily Griffin (great beach read - you should check it out!) and your friend reminds me of the main character Darcy who is getting married (her MOH is the narrator).

      I'm really sorry! Especially with your own DW coming up! At least now you have a really good perspective on what to expect for your own BMs/MOH...


      ~ Jaime & Martin ~
      "Rain or Swine! 2-0-0-9"

      We had 24 people attend our wedding in Las Caletas, Mexico on May 24th, 2009!

      We all stayed at The Marriott in P.V., and Honeymooned at The Royal Plantation in Ochos Rios, Jamaica!


      #3 KittenHeart

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        Posted 08 June 2009 - 01:06 PM

        Haha, I might read that book! I've never heard of it before.

        Thank you, it was good to have the other side of things, she's my Matron of Honor which unfortunately makes me want to see her suffer the same but I think I'm going to write her a delicately worded email... afterall her wedding is over, it's my turn now

        #4 JaimeLynne

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          Posted 08 June 2009 - 01:09 PM

          LOL - totally. I say use her to the fullest! (don't mean that in a cruel way, but definitely make her stand up to her part of the bargain!) ... and don't forget to put her on "Janitor Duty"

          ~ Jaime & Martin ~
          "Rain or Swine! 2-0-0-9"

          We had 24 people attend our wedding in Las Caletas, Mexico on May 24th, 2009!

          We all stayed at The Marriott in P.V., and Honeymooned at The Royal Plantation in Ochos Rios, Jamaica!


          #5 ACDCDCAC

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          Posted 08 June 2009 - 01:10 PM

          yowza! that sounds like a bad wedding movie

          i guess if you have to pull a positive out of the whole thing, its that all your BM's will be so happy and excited to have been in your wedding because you will make it the best time ever for them!

          #6 itsfinallyhere

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            Posted 08 June 2009 - 01:27 PM

            Holy cow is she ever inconsiderate. I think you should send her an email. And it sounds like you went over and above the call of duty. I hope she does appreciate everything you have done for her and reciprocates in kind. Good luck.

            #7 KittenHeart

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              Posted 08 June 2009 - 01:28 PM

              Thank you Abbie, that is definitely a positive!

              I will be extremely appreciative of everything they do and all they're efforts. :)

              #8 TheFutureMrs.Sears

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                Posted 08 June 2009 - 01:37 PM

                Wow!! I'm so sorry you and the rest of the bridal party had to go through that. UUUGGHHH
                http://global.thekno...rs/tt44496.aspx


                52 booked + The Bride and Groom!!!
                http://i69.photobuck....s/DSC02673.jpgMe and my Bridesmaids at my Bachelorette Party on a Roof Top with Manhattan in the background.

                #9 ACDCDCAC

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                Posted 08 June 2009 - 01:49 PM

                oh and also, i guess its a good thing you had to go thru it before your turn so it wasnt your bff on here venting about you plus you get to give us good advice from someone who has been there! helps to keep our bdw b2b's grounded!

                #10 holstang

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                  Posted 08 June 2009 - 01:52 PM

                  Damn dude, down to the .25 even?

                  Super Tack Master if you ask me. That's crazy. But at least it's good fodder for years to come. But I'd have to say no to the janitorial duties. That's just crazy. Good lesson for how NOT to treat the BM's.

                  Damn. And I felt bad for asking them to buy certain shoes.




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