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HUUUUUGE etiquette question please HELP!!!

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39 replies to this topic

#1 amenellie

  • Newbie
  • 8 posts

    Posted 27 May 2009 - 09:22 PM

    Hi Ladies,

    I have an enormous etiquette question and I'm hoping to get all of your advice! So, we are getting married on August 21st, but we're just having 30-40 people. Invited guests are just very close friends and only immediate family (parents/siblings only)...

    But I want to have a bridal shower in my hometown and I want to invite friend's of my parents, aunts, cousins, etc...

    I know etiquette is that you only invite people to the shower who are invited to wedding. BUT we are having a huge blowout reception in San Diego this winter (the hometown of my fiance) where everyone will be invited. So I was thinking I would say on bridal shower invites that everyone is invited to reception but I still want to share this hometown bridal shower moment with you.

    Please tell me if that's totally awful and unacceptable and please let me know if any other brides or brides-to-be have done anything similar. I'm in need of serious guidance!!!!!!!

    Thanks so much!

    #2 lgarner83

    • Member
    • 530 posts

      Posted 27 May 2009 - 09:27 PM

      Honestly, I think it's ok!! Especially since they will be invited to the local celebration of your marriage then I think it's totally appropriate.

      #3 Adlergray

      • Banned
      • 294 posts

        Posted 27 May 2009 - 09:28 PM

        I am doing the same thing. As long as you are inviting them to your at home reception I say you are ok. Just make sure it comes up at the shower I am having my shower in oct or DW in dec and our AHR in April. Its a different situation you just kinda have to make these things up as you go.

        #4 amenellie

        • Newbie
        • 8 posts

          Posted 27 May 2009 - 09:58 PM

          Cool, but here's my only question: my wedding is in Mass. (on Martha's Vineyard, still destination wedding) my shower will be in north Mass, and reception is in San Diego, is that still OK?

          #5 Adlergray

          • Banned
          • 294 posts

            Posted 27 May 2009 - 10:11 PM

            I think its still fine. but if you have family in both you should probably have two, one in each city, so people don't feel like you are just inviting them for a gift. But just because thing are unorthodox dosn't mean you don't deserve the joy of a shower.

            #6 jax_the_beach_bride

            • Jr. Member
            • 475 posts

              Posted 27 May 2009 - 10:17 PM

              I dont see that as being an issue... I wouldnt worry about it.. just let them know and then no one will feel like this is just a money/gift grab

              Mr. & Mrs. Reid
              All my life, I prayed for someone like you... and I thank God that I finally found you!


              #7 soon2bePowers

              • Jr. Member
              • 382 posts

                Posted 27 May 2009 - 10:22 PM

                I invited people to my shower that would be invited to either wedding, AHR or both.

                #8 Jenamie

                • Jr. Member
                • 392 posts

                  Posted 27 May 2009 - 10:24 PM

                  I dont see why not, its a family wedding with a AHR that they are invited too so why not!

                  #9 tylersgirl

                  • Sr. Member
                  • 1,681 posts

                    Posted 27 May 2009 - 10:28 PM

                    I think it will be fine!

                    #10 Amarillis

                    • Sr. Member
                    • 1,913 posts

                      Posted 27 May 2009 - 11:05 PM

                      I have to go against the grain on this one... I truly believe that it is inappropriate to expect anyone who is not invited to the wedding to be expected to attend other pre-wedding functions, including showers, engagement parties, bachelorette parties, stag and does, etc. (in my opinion, the only exception is an office/work hosted celebration-shower).

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