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DGG

Uninvited Guests

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No I think you're right. You didn't invite them so stick to your guns why should you cut back on stuff just because they decided they all wanted a vacation and it coincided with your wedding!

 

One of my best mates invited her friend but at least she asked me first lol I said yes because i didn't want her to travel on her own but even the guest said if i didn't want her at the wedding that was fine!

 

Get them told inconsiderate buggers

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I would agree with many ppl that it's ur wedding. If you don't want children fine. If you want children of your choosing than fine. Who care how they feel ab the ring bearer, it's your wedding point blank. They should have followed the rules, they'll now have to suffer the natural consequences (sorry can you tell that I'm a social worker haha). To be honest I would def feel bad ab the fact that it's small resort but unfortunately they made their beds so they have to sleep in it.

 

I have the same issue with uninvited guests good luck. I am actually charging uninvited guest a fee bc like you said we are paying for alot of things for each guest and we just cant afford to accommodate all of the uninvited ones.

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Ugh I can sympathize. My mom already told one of my cousins that she could bring her boyfriend (whom I've never met or heard about) and then said afterward, hey is it OK? Uh, I can't really take back what you've already told her! And this girl will have her parents there and lots of cousins that she knows, so it's not like she won't know anyone there.

 

I am just hoping that there aren't a lot of other incidences like this.

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Ok, we just had this sort of thing happened to us twice now! One friend invited herself and her b/f and already bought flights. Not sure how she got the idea she was invited since she knows it's an exclusive invite list due to the limit of bedrooms we have available and we are having an AHR for everyone else. Maybe she assumed since we spoke about the wedding around her? That's fine b/c we had other people drop out so we had the room. But then, this friend usually does invitations for free for her friends as her wedding gift so she offered to do ours. I thought that was really sweet of her and showed her the invites we were interested in. They are little scrolls with wooden scroll rods (I know, very Cinderella/Hear Ye, Hear Ye but I'm going for the whole fairytale theme, castle and all). She tells us that as long as we pay for the rods, she can do them. What?? I mean, we're only ordering 20 invites. Scroll rods probably cost about $1/pair. She really couldn't spring $20 for her gift? I mean, I wasn't even expecting a gift from her. She offered! And then she's expecting me to pay for part of it too? Not to mention, we're providing accommodations for all of our guests for the entire week. That's about $2500-3000 per couple. Plus breakfast is included every morning. Plus the reception dinner which is $200 per plate! Seriously, am I out of line here??

 

But the 2nd one galls me. 2 of our friends (a couple) who were also not invited to the wedding assumed they would be invited (b/c they will be in Paris at the tail end of their honeymoon so they will make a 1 day pit stop at our wedding before they head back home). What could we say? They were already in the area and they're making our wedding cake for us for our AHR (5 tiers!). But then, here's the clincher. 1 of them asked if they could bring their niece and her b/f who both live in Paris to the wedding! WTF?? We don't even know them!! And that's another $200 per plate per person! We were so taken off guard, all we could stammer out was sure, I guess that's ok.

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Grace --

 

Do they all know you are paying for the accomodations?? Maybe they don't realize you were going to do this and you can have them chip in.. If that first friend knew that you would be paying for accomodations and booked her flight without an invite, that's pretty rude...

For the second couple, at least they asked.... but I understand your feeling - if it really bothers you, you can talk to them and say it is really going to be close family/friends only and would rather keep it at that..

I hate that it is really these ppl who are being rude, but I don't want to be rude back so I'll probably just give in too...

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For my situation, our 2 friends that weren't going to bring their babies now both decided to bring them - which I am happy with b/c I do love children and we are a lot closer to them.. and we did invite them with their 2 babies...

But - now I guess we are stuck on saying that no children are allowed for these uninvited children.. Even though these children were intentionally not invited (b/c we do not know them at all or even their parents even thought they are family - and haven't been invited to anything for them in the last 10 years - baptisms,etc), we will look bad for not including them... so I guess what's another $900, right??

I wish ppl realized how much $$ was involved and maybe they would think twice about adding ppl on..

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just an innocent question but why do so many people not children at their weddinghuh.gif arent they just as much a part of your family as adultshuh.gif sorry just dont get how kids wouldnt be at a wedding..

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaboBride2010 View Post
just an innocent question but why do so many people not children at their weddinghuh.gif arent they just as much a part of your family as adultshuh.gif sorry just dont get how kids wouldnt be at a wedding..
I can't speak for everyone, but for me the issue is not that we don't want any kids, we just had to limit the list and so didn't invite any of the kids we didn't know. For us, we added extended family on and so we chose to only included these adults since neither of us knows their children and we wanted to keep our wedding somewhat small.
We are happy to include FI's 2yo nephew (our ringbearer) and our friends' babies. But weddings aren't really geared for kids and to have to cater to children we don't even know (let alone pay $$$ for them) doesn't seem right to me..

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DGG View Post
Grace --

Do they all know you are paying for the accomodations?? Maybe they don't realize you were going to do this and you can have them chip in.. If that first friend knew that you would be paying for accomodations and booked her flight without an invite, that's pretty rude...
For the second couple, at least they asked.... but I understand your feeling - if it really bothers you, you can talk to them and say it is really going to be close family/friends only and would rather keep it at that..
I hate that it is really these ppl who are being rude, but I don't want to be rude back so I'll probably just give in too...
We've let everyone know that we are providing accommodations since we first decided on the DW and found our location. And I can't have 1 person chip in for their accommodations when everyone else is getting it for free. I guess we're just going to have to go with the flow with this one.

As for the invitations, we decided to order invitations ourselves and just say that FH mom bought us our invitations as a wedding gift. This way, we avoid the whole gift mess all together.

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