His parents may not come!
Posted 25 November 2008 - 04:08 PM
If you are upset talk to FI about it and explain why. If he is TRULY okay with it; then its their loss, not yours or FI's.
You shouldn't have to convince anyone to come to their child's wedding. If it's a cost issue, health issue or anything legit like that they should be honest, mature people and discuss it with you.
This is yours and FI's wedding; have it where you want it and how you want it.
Posted 25 November 2008 - 04:14 PM
Posted 25 November 2008 - 08:31 PM
Posted 25 November 2008 - 10:54 PM
I honestly think that it doesn't matter what the reason is, unless it's that the timing isn't possible for them. If they just don't want to make the trip, stick to your guns. It's nobody's job to convince them. Screw convincing people to come to your wedding. That's just plain rude and cruel.
Make sure you and your FI want to do the wedding there and if that's a yes, then start your plans and book. They will come around. FI's parents did and now they're really excited about it. I think they wanted to set the tone for us. They made us change the date a bit, but not tons. Battle of the wills is totally what it is. People are so mean!
Posted 25 November 2008 - 11:21 PM
So keep planning your wedding and yes, their decision will have an effect on you but in the end it's their loss. They're the one's who have to say they didn't attend their son's wedding.
Posted 26 November 2008 - 02:31 AM
"I don't want to get married the way someone else wants us to, and then look back ten years from now and regret that we never did what we dreamed of doing." Nuff said!!!
Posted 26 November 2008 - 08:51 AM
I know she will be there, she couldn't stand to miss her oldest grandson's wedding, but yeah sometimes it hurts that she seems to miss the whole point of the wedding is our marriage and not a family reunion. Keep your chin up and keep them involved with wedding plans, they will start to get too excited about it to say no.
Posted 29 November 2008 - 02:34 PM
I completely understand how you feel. We are in the same situation here... except with my parents, not his. My parents are NOT going to my wedding in January.
Here's the story:
When we announced our engagement last October, they expressed keen interest in coming. They had a ton of suggestions in terms of the destinations... all of which seemed really pricey or inappropriate (Libya was one of the choices - LOL). We really wanted to go to Mexico (I want to see all the Maya ruins), but they both told us that they would not go if we chose Mexico, period. No discussion, no compromise (my mom was worried about her safety there... and decided she would die if she went there). So, we looked around for other destinations (we wanted something affordable and with a wide range of things to do on and off the resort). So, after a lot of research, we chose Panama - and they seemed really happy about that. We chose a date that they weren't as happy with (they both teach, and it conflicted with their schedules a little). The alternative was picking a week that would cost everyone else an extra $400 though.... and they both have vacation that they can take!
So, with our date and destination chosen, we went ahead with the planning. We sent out our invitations REALLY early (it was around April 200 'cause a bunch of friends were hounding us to get an agent, and get things in order so they could book, and my FI didn't want to do STD cards. We booked out trip through the TA, and a few of our close friends did the same thing.
Then, we got into a huge blow up with my parents over wedding stuff. Basically they were complaining about the cost, the vacation time, and pretty much whatever else they could think of. Just for background - they are pretty well off, have paid for their home in full, and take several trips each year on their own (one of which is usually to China to see my brother). When I would call to talk to them about the wedding, they would change the topic to something else.... and they never expressed any excitement about the fact that I am getting married. I found out that this is in part because this will be my 2nd wedding. Anyway, in the end, they told us that they weren't going to come to our wedding at all. They told us to change our destination to Mexico, and have a great time without them.
I was really upset about it... as was my FI. His fam doesnt really understand their decision, and neither do many of our friends. I still don't understand their decision either, and have told them that it will likely affect our relationship in the future. How could it not? I have tried to talk to them a number of times - to get them to change their minds and come. I've explained how important it is that they are there, I've apologized for everything I can think of.... but they get mad and say that I'm trying to upset them again, and say that I don't respect their decision. My sister has tried to get them to change their minds, but they just get upset at her as well.
The deadline for booking with the group has passed. There is only one plane that goes to Panama every week from TO... and it's fully booked the week we're gone. So, they won't be there for sure. In the end, I have come to terms with the fact that they aren't coming, and have come to realize where I stand with them. I have apologized to my FI and his family, and our friends for their behaviour.... We are going to have a wonderful wedding in Panama without them, and it's something that will be their loss.
So, I feel for you.
Posted 03 December 2008 - 04:51 AM
Posted 03 December 2008 - 08:11 PM
It's your wedding - it's only going to happen once.... So, do it your way. It'll be their loss if they miss out. Hopefully once you have had time to talk to them, and explain how important it is for you for them to be there, they will change their minds.
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