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#8061 bigboponthebeach

bigboponthebeach
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    Posted 17 June 2010 - 06:01 PM

    Afternoon my "forum friends!" ;-) I was just popping in to vent and whine for a tad. We sent our STD's out on Monday and we've officially got the buzz going for our wedding. I'm amazed at how many family members have been so critical. Mature adults (or so I thought) have made every comment ranging from "Those rooms are too small' to "Why isn't flight included in the rate" to "Kinda selfish to make everyone fly just to see you marry." I know I shouldn't be so sensitive, and I'm usually not, and I know from reading all the earlier posts that many of you ladies were met with similar negativity. But I'm trying to be a gracious and polite bride and instead I feel like telling people to Shut the F**K up and just stay home if they feel burdened. I'm so tired of responding to people, "Well I'm sorry but just know that we are NOT offended if you cannot make it and we totally understand." I feel like people don't realize that this is an optional attendance and no gun is being placed to their head for them to fly to beautiful Mexico to attend our wedding.

    Anywho, I know I should suck it up and drive on......but I'm just sick of all the complaining and commentary and know that there are a few more to come. I had to vent because I feel like you chicks are the only ones who get it. I'm thankful for this space to do that from time to time......:-)

    #8062 beaz2be

    beaz2be
    • Jr. Member
    • 256 posts

      Posted 17 June 2010 - 06:28 PM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by bigboponthebeach
      Afternoon my "forum friends!" ;-) I was just popping in to vent and whine for a tad. We sent our STD's out on Monday and we've officially got the buzz going for our wedding. I'm amazed at how many family members have been so critical. Mature adults (or so I thought) have made every comment ranging from "Those rooms are too small' to "Why isn't flight included in the rate" to "Kinda selfish to make everyone fly just to see you marry." I know I shouldn't be so sensitive, and I'm usually not, and I know from reading all the earlier posts that many of you ladies were met with similar negativity. But I'm trying to be a gracious and polite bride and instead I feel like telling people to Shut the F**K up and just stay home if they feel burdened. I'm so tired of responding to people, "Well I'm sorry but just know that we are NOT offended if you cannot make it and we totally understand." I feel like people don't realize that this is an optional attendance and no gun is being placed to their head for them to fly to beautiful Mexico to attend our wedding.

      Anywho, I know I should suck it up and drive on......but I'm just sick of all the complaining and commentary and know that there are a few more to come. I had to vent because I feel like you chicks are the only ones who get it. I'm thankful for this space to do that from time to time......:-)
      First and foremost I LOVE that STFU guy. I wish I could just keep him in my pocket and use him at all times necessary.

      I totally feel you on this one. Lucky for us in a way, my fiance's family and mine live on opposite sides of the continent - so no matter what 1/2 the wedding has to get on a plane. This way it's "more fair" for everyone. hahaha

      I only have one suggestion on how to deal with this. I'm sure there are many wiser and more reasoned people on here with better advice. But my turn of phrase is something along the lines of "we totally understand those who are unable to attend and we thank you for supporting us in our choice to celebrate our marriage and our vows to one another this way".... something like that. I think it's just a gentle reminder that this day is about our marriage and our love for each other, your role (Mr. X complainer) is to show up and support that - IF YOU CHOOSE TO DO SO!!

      sorry, that may have gotten tangent-y... but people's judgeyness has gotten to me as well since we sent out our STDs too.

      #8063 KittenHeart

      KittenHeart
      • Sr. Member
      • 3,103 posts

        Posted 17 June 2010 - 07:10 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by bigboponthebeach
        Afternoon my "forum friends!" ;-) I was just popping in to vent and whine for a tad. We sent our STD's out on Monday and we've officially got the buzz going for our wedding. I'm amazed at how many family members have been so critical. Mature adults (or so I thought) have made every comment ranging from "Those rooms are too small' to "Why isn't flight included in the rate" to "Kinda selfish to make everyone fly just to see you marry." I know I shouldn't be so sensitive, and I'm usually not, and I know from reading all the earlier posts that many of you ladies were met with similar negativity. But I'm trying to be a gracious and polite bride and instead I feel like telling people to Shut the F**K up and just stay home if they feel burdened. I'm so tired of responding to people, "Well I'm sorry but just know that we are NOT offended if you cannot make it and we totally understand." I feel like people don't realize that this is an optional attendance and no gun is being placed to their head for them to fly to beautiful Mexico to attend our wedding.

        Anywho, I know I should suck it up and drive on......but I'm just sick of all the complaining and commentary and know that there are a few more to come. I had to vent because I feel like you chicks are the only ones who get it. I'm thankful for this space to do that from time to time......:-)
        OH just know that this has happen to us all! I'm not kidding, probably every destination wedding bride has experienced a guest or family member complaining or voicing an opinion.

        My own mother and brother did not come to my wedding in Mexico. To each, their own and everyone is different but people need to realize a wedding is about you and your fiance, celebrating and declaring your love. The number of attendees to this celebration and union doesn't matter at all. On your wedding day, I promise you, you won't be thinking about who wasn't there, or who thought you should have done it differently or who didn't approve of blah blah blah... I promise you that the feeling you will have on your wedding day is solely focused on your then husband and this blissful floating feeling. Wendy knows! I can tell she felt the same way :)

        It's an unbelieve experience... ahhhh I'm so jealous mine is over!

        My response was a little less PC, to anyone who commented, just told them, "it's my wedding and our decision was this, if you can't make it, we totally understand."

        I think us past brides all mentioned how over emotion we were during our planning stages, it's natural :)

        Sorry for going off, I just don't want you to stress or worry, those complainers won't be hatin' life when they are floating in the pool with a margarita now will they?

        #8064 bigboponthebeach

        bigboponthebeach
        • Jr. Member
        • 456 posts

          Posted 17 June 2010 - 08:28 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by beaz2be
          First and foremost I LOVE that STFU guy. I wish I could just keep him in my pocket and use him at all times necessary.

          I totally feel you on this one. Lucky for us in a way, my fiance's family and mine live on opposite sides of the continent - so no matter what 1/2 the wedding has to get on a plane. This way it's "more fair" for everyone. hahaha

          I only have one suggestion on how to deal with this. I'm sure there are many wiser and more reasoned people on here with better advice. But my turn of phrase is something along the lines of "we totally understand those who are unable to attend and we thank you for supporting us in our choice to celebrate our marriage and our vows to one another this way".... something like that. I think it's just a gentle reminder that this day is about our marriage and our love for each other, your role (Mr. X complainer) is to show up and support that - IF YOU CHOOSE TO DO SO!!

          sorry, that may have gotten tangent-y... but people's judgeyness has gotten to me as well since we sent out our STDs too.
          OH just know that this has happen to us all! I'm not kidding, probably every destination wedding bride has experienced a guest or family member complaining or voicing an opinion.

          My own mother and brother did not come to my wedding in Mexico. To each, their own and everyone is different but people need to realize a wedding is about you and your fiance, celebrating and declaring your love. The number of attendees to this celebration and union doesn't matter at all. On your wedding day, I promise you, you won't be thinking about who wasn't there, or who thought you should have done it differently or who didn't approve of blah blah blah... I promise you that the feeling you will have on your wedding day is solely focused on your then husband and this blissful floating feeling. Wendy knows! I can tell she felt the same way :)

          It's an unbelieve experience... ahhhh I'm so jealous mine is over!

          My response was a little less PC, to anyone who commented, just told them, "it's my wedding and our decision was this, if you can't make it, we totally understand."

          I think us past brides all mentioned how over emotion we were during our planning stages, it's natural :)

          Sorry for going off, I just don't want you to stress or worry, those complainers won't be hatin' life when they are floating in the pool with a margarita now will they?

          Thank you beaz and kittenheart!!! I'm just confused at the nerve of people. We KNEW going into this that travel for no one, ourselves included, would be free. I guess I'm just starting to see people's true colors late in life. Kittenheart, you put it in perspective when you said even your Mom didn't show up. I'm sorry to hear this and it makes me sad. :-( In the end, you both are right....those who were meant to be there and want to be, WILL. I'm not really stressed, just more irritated than anything. But I'm moving past it right now!

          And beaz....I've wanted to tell more people to in the past 48 hours than I have in my whole three decades on this earth! I LOVE that sign...I feel empowered using it! I'm letting off agression through smilies....how passive/agressive is that LOL

          #8065 artistique

          artistique
          • Banned
          • 190 posts

            Posted 17 June 2010 - 09:33 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by bigboponthebeach
            Afternoon my "forum friends!" ;-) I was just popping in to vent and whine for a tad. We sent our STD's out on Monday and we've officially got the buzz going for our wedding. I'm amazed at how many family members have been so critical. Mature adults (or so I thought) have made every comment ranging from "Those rooms are too small' to "Why isn't flight included in the rate" to "Kinda selfish to make everyone fly just to see you marry." I know I shouldn't be so sensitive, and I'm usually not, and I know from reading all the earlier posts that many of you ladies were met with similar negativity. But I'm trying to be a gracious and polite bride and instead I feel like telling people to Shut the F**K up and just stay home if they feel burdened. I'm so tired of responding to people, "Well I'm sorry but just know that we are NOT offended if you cannot make it and we totally understand." I feel like people don't realize that this is an optional attendance and no gun is being placed to their head for them to fly to beautiful Mexico to attend our wedding.

            Anywho, I know I should suck it up and drive on......but I'm just sick of all the complaining and commentary and know that there are a few more to come. I had to vent because I feel like you chicks are the only ones who get it. I'm thankful for this space to do that from time to time......:-)
            This is sad to say, but many people attend "at home" weddings just to be polite and get a free meal. I can't even tell you how many weddings we go to where the guests eat and leave! So rude, and in such poor taste. The good thing is that for your DW, the ones who are there, are the ones that care. Hey! and less people to feed too!

            Michelle

            #8066 amandamarieb

            amandamarieb
            • Jr. Member
            • 239 posts

              Posted 17 June 2010 - 10:54 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by meghan
              Robin, I added a lot of extras, and including the photographer (who is not one of the resorts photographers), we are just under 10K (probably right at 10K if we include the price of travelling.) It is more than what I thought it would be originally, but I think it will be beautiful!
              That's amazing. Go you for keeping it under 10. We are at 17K and I still want to add on...need to pull back. That is for 60 to 70 ppl though. We have about 55 booked right now
              Amanda ~ Marrying Stephen on October 10th 2010 at Azul Sensatori

              http://tickers.Ticke....ded6/event.png

              #8067 amandamarieb

              amandamarieb
              • Jr. Member
              • 239 posts

                Posted 17 June 2010 - 11:00 PM

                Ok so I've been off for a few days and am trying to catch up so please forgive me if this has already been brought up but for those brides getting married this summer or this fall, are you worried about the oil crisis?

                A guests brought it up to me today and I don't know why I've totally been spacing on it and not thinking that way. (I guess I'v got a lot going on.) But now I am really worried. I emailed my TA and she said "who knows what the tide will bring in by October" and that it's hitting Florida now so we can only hope for the best.

                Ahh. I know this is a very small issues especially considering what the real crisis is and if no good seafood, bad swimming and oil infused water ruins our pictures.

                Ok enough whining. Just wondering what your other thoughts are. Thanks ladies.
                Amanda ~ Marrying Stephen on October 10th 2010 at Azul Sensatori

                http://tickers.Ticke....ded6/event.png

                #8068 mmc1105

                mmc1105
                • Jr. Member
                • 173 posts

                  Posted 18 June 2010 - 01:06 AM

                  Bigbop, we haven't even mailed our save the dates yet, and we're already getting some rude and obnoxious comments...and I'm trying to be gracious too. But I've just been telling people who complain that we TOTALLY understand that not everyone will be able to go and that's worked really well so far!

                  Sorry you're experiencing this already
                  Alexander & Marci - May 6, 2011

                  #8069 dstinationdrmr

                  dstinationdrmr
                  • Jr. Member
                  • 309 posts

                    Posted 18 June 2010 - 02:44 AM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by amybermuda
                    Meredith, If it was my wedding, I would do both. How many tables and centerpieces will you have? It seems like you'll have at least 5 dinner tables plus maybe a few extra on the DJ table, name card table, etc - so alternating colors might be cool. Always go with what you like!!!
                    We're having about 50 people if the stragglers finally go ahead and book (hopefully no extra people decide to come). So, I'm assuming 7-8 tables. My mom feels like we need a table for just the 2 of us like AmyKH did and I didn't even take into consideration the DJ (which we still haven't decided if we're getting) and the cigar roller. Would he need a centerpiece? How big is that area he works on? I bought vases for the cake and guest book tables. Are there any other tables I'm forgetting?

                    Thanks AmyB for your input and mentioning those other tables. Otherwise I would've been short
                    Meredith, I loved your website. Very classy design. As for the centerpieces, I couldn't view them b/c I don't have enough credits or whatnot to download. But if it was me I would probably also use a combination of both (if you have 2 designs). Provided you have enough tables etc.
                    Thanks! Like I said, it was pretty easy to put together. PM me if you want to see the boxes. Not sure if you need ideas, etc. It's weird though. I didn't realize I had reached the status of being able to open attachments. I was always the one that couldn't see anything.

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by KittenHeart
                    What are your colors?
                    My BM's are wearing vintage bronze and my MOH's are wearing purple. We decided to use lime accents for the bouquets and our moms/aunts will be wearing a praline color. I know this can be confusing so these are the dresses...
                    I'm couldn' open it because I don't have enough posts... Hmm, maybe I should stop multi-quoting and anwer every post individually!

                    I'm so glad you were both able to keep it under 10k, that is my goal!! You guys give me hope lol
                    I said the same thing, maybe I should just do individual quotes for each one I want to respond to, but I felt a little responsible for this thread getting to 800 pages! It's good cause there's a wealth of info, but I know all of the noobs get extremely overwhelmed looking at that.

                    We too are trying to keep it under $10k. I honestly stopped adding everything up though. Sad and irresponsible maybe, but I'm not organized enough to tally everything up. I kept it up in the beginning but all of that has kinda gone out the window.

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by taylorwd
                    Meredith, if I had to pick one, it'd be the white. But I really like both of them and think you should use both colors!
                    Thx! I think I will, especially now that I realize I'll need more!

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by cjb0arder13
                    Speaking of reading all the threads...I may have to go back and re-read!!! The whole time I was reading, I've been thinking of Azul Beach. Now, it's looking more and more like AB is out of the running
                    Afternoon my "forum friends!" ;-) I was just popping in to vent and whine for a tad. We sent our STD's out on Monday and we've officially got the buzz going for our wedding. I'm amazed at how many family members have been so critical. Mature adults (or so I thought) have made every comment ranging from "Those rooms are too small' to "Why isn't flight included in the rate" to "Kinda selfish to make everyone fly just to see you marry." I know I shouldn't be so sensitive, and I'm usually not, and I know from reading all the earlier posts that many of you ladies were met with similar negativity. But I'm trying to be a gracious and polite bride and instead I feel like telling people to Shut the F**K up and just stay home if they feel burdened. I'm so tired of responding to people, "Well I'm sorry but just know that we are NOT offended if you cannot make it and we totally understand." I feel like people don't realize that this is an optional attendance and no gun is being placed to their head for them to fly to beautiful Mexico to attend our wedding.
                    Thank you beaz and kittenheart!!! I'm just confused at the nerve of people. We KNEW going into this that travel for no one, ourselves included, would be free. I guess I'm just starting to see people's true colors late in life. Kittenheart, you put it in perspective when you said even your Mom didn't show up. I'm sorry to hear this and it makes me sad. :-( In the end, you both are right....those who were meant to be there and want to be, WILL. I'm not really stressed, just more irritated than anything. But I'm moving past it right now!

                    And beaz....I've wanted to tell more people to
                    This is sad to say, but many people attend "at home" weddings just to be polite and get a free meal. I can't even tell you how many weddings we go to where the guests eat and leave! So rude, and in such poor taste. The good thing is that for your DW, the ones who are there, are the ones that care.
                    Ok so I've been off for a few days and am trying to catch up so please forgive me if this has already been brought up but for those brides getting married this summer or this fall, are you worried about the oil crisis?

                    A guests brought it up to me today and I don't know why I've totally been spacing on it and not thinking that way. (I guess I'v got a lot going on.) But now I am really worried. I emailed my TA and she said "who knows what the tide will bring in by October" and that it's hitting Florida now so we can only hope for the best.

                    Ahh. I know this is a very small issues especially considering what the real crisis is and if no good seafood, bad swimming and oil infused water ruins our pictures.

                    Ok enough whining. Just wondering what your other thoughts are. Thanks ladies.
                    So, call me ignorant, but I am less than an hour away from the oil spill and I haven't had to make any major adjustments in my life. Seafood prices have gone up, stuff that we're used to having at our fingertips is becoming harder to find but nothing that is affecting my daily life. Now I'm not discrediting the fact that this is a big deal, many people are suffering financially from it all, but I honestly didn't take MX into consideration when thiking about the oil spill. It scary because I think things will get worse before they get better, but like your TA said, you can't really predict what the case will be in Oct. So, I would say be mindful of it but don't stress. There's not much you can do about it anyway. I kinda view it the same way I view a hurricane hitting. All I can do is hope and pray it won't affect us all.

                    #8070 ~Nicole~

                    ~Nicole~
                    • Sr. Member
                    • 4,512 posts

                      Posted 18 June 2010 - 08:12 AM

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by KittenHeart
                      OH just know that this has happen to us all! I'm not kidding, probably every destination wedding bride has experienced a guest or family member complaining or voicing an opinion.

                      My own mother and brother did not come to my wedding in Mexico. To each, their own and everyone is different but people need to realize a wedding is about you and your fiance, celebrating and declaring your love. The number of attendees to this celebration and union doesn't matter at all. On your wedding day, I promise you, you won't be thinking about who wasn't there, or who thought you should have done it differently or who didn't approve of blah blah blah... I promise you that the feeling you will have on your wedding day is solely focused on your then husband and this blissful floating feeling. Wendy knows! I can tell she felt the same way :)

                      It's an unbelieve experience... ahhhh I'm so jealous mine is over!

                      My response was a little less PC, to anyone who commented, just told them, "it's my wedding and our decision was this, if you can't make it, we totally understand."

                      I think us past brides all mentioned how over emotion we were during our planning stages, it's natural :)

                      Sorry for going off, I just don't want you to stress or worry, those complainers won't be hatin' life when they are floating in the pool with a margarita now will they?
                      Amy, it has come full circle for you!! Now you get to reassure all of these brides with me :)

                      Ditto to what Amy said. I wasted so many tears on people that I honestly wish I hadn't... one of those being my mom as well. I had 7 people show for my wedding..... 2 of those were family members - one brother and my sister. And you know what, it turned out perfectly! The attendance numbers were definitely lower than we had expected, but I can tell you that I honestly don't care to this day about that!

                      I'm not defending these insane people giving you a hard time, but I honestly think that they just don't "get it". And you know what, you don't need their approval. It will work out :) *HUGS*
                      *Formerly Nikki07*
                      My Planning Thread




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