44 replies to this topic

[kate.com]

What would you do if you got an email like this from your normally laid back, close family members?

Dear Bride and Groom:
"I tried both of your cell phones, but didn’t get an answer. We were looking at the resort info last night. I just wanted to see how you felt about us looking at some other resorts in Puerto Vallarta . We’ve all been to resorts and know what we like/prefer when spending this amount of money. From experience, we definitely would like to have a beach at the resort (it’s convenient to have service/lunch on the beach/wave-running/swimming, etc – with the convenience of your hotel room right there), as well as a variety of restaurants. If it’s ok with you guys, we’d like to look at some options for our vacation. We realize it is your wedding, but we’re also making a vacation out of it – like we’ve mentioned all along. I definitely think the resort looks nice, but wanted to work some of our preferences into the vacation with the cost of everything. If you are not ok with this & expecting everyone to stay at the resort you have decided to stay – please let us know. We don’t want to create any problems."

[Martha]

In all honesty it sounds to me like they are saying your resort is not good enough for them

I really don't know what I would say to them! But, if they are willing to dish out extra money to stay elsewhere, so be it! Afterall, it is their vacation too....

However, I think the wording of the email is a little rude.....all they had to say was "we have decided to stay at XXX, is this okay with you?"

[Yari]

I think they were very careful with their wording and they dont want to
upset you. Do you care if they stay anywhere else?

[A10CalGal]

I would completely understand their point of view! I think the email makes complete sense. I understand you may be unhappy at the prospect of some guest chosing to stay else where, but in reality it is THEIR vacation too.

** edit- I did not sense any rudeness what so ever! I think they are being genuine in checking in with you prior to any decision making.

[Alyssa]

i don't think there is anything wrong with it at all.

it sounds like they just have very specific preferences for when they travel, your wedding is important to them but they are also using it as an excuse for thier vacation (totally reasonable) and want to make sure you won't be upset or offended if they choose to stay somewhere else.

nothing personal and very considerate. they didn't berate you or judge you for your choices like a lot of other psycho family members we have heard about it!

how did you respond?

[happygilmore]

I can see where they are coming from and from the sounds of it, they just want to get the most bang for their buck when it comes to their vacation! If you end up being okay with it you might just want to give them the heads up that your resort might have a day fee to come on to the property and that they will be responsible for that fee each time they need/want to come to the resort (unless you knew some people wouldn't stay and therefore had planned on paying for the entrance fee)

[LadyCheese]

I didnt sense any rudeness either and at least they sent an email to ask you how you felt about it. My FI friend flat out told us they were planning to stay elsewhere that was less money...lol.

[Jessica]

I don't see anything wrong with that email at all. Sorry! They were nice and just wanted to explain their reasons for looking at other places. Unless there's a reason you want everyone to stay at one resort, I don't see the big deal...

[Martha]

See, IMO, all they had to say was "we would like to stay at XXX, do you mind?" I think by going on and on, they were makinbg it worse because they were listing a few reasons why they didn't want to stay there.

[starchild]

I think they were almost too nice about it! LOL Not rude at all, they make valid points. Keep in mind I did no room block and let people stay where they wanted for the same reasons your guest stated, so maybe I'm biased...but I think that was fair of them to ask and a super nice way to present it without stepping on your toes.

It sure beats the "we aren't staying at that place and if you expect us to come you should let us stay where we want" kind of email.