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FMIL/FSIL Vent....


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#11 Copita

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    Posted 29 May 2008 - 08:50 AM

    I am very sorry to hear this.
    At this point, just try not to think about it much and don't mention it to anyone since you didn't offer to pay for anyone else (and it's nobody's business really).
    They should be respectful of you guys though and not act like ding dongs because paying for not one but TWO tickets is going above and beyond the call of duty, in my opinion. That is really major!
    And just a word of booking advice, sometimes the closer you wait to book to the date, the more expensive airfare it.

    Good luck!

    #12 Dez921714

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      Posted 29 May 2008 - 09:23 AM

      I booked their airfair last night. Not the most conveinent airport for them, but it saved me $300, so they can just deal with it.

      They are sharing a room. I'm not booking the resort until closer to (we have a block of rooms held until 45 days before the wedding). I'm hoping that his aunt or moms best friend (or both) will come and want to share the room...a Quad per person is less than a double.

      Harty, you really do make me laugh :)

      Not to make FI sound psycho...but he walks a tight rope mentally at times (gets SUPER stressed over stupid things) and I know this is stressing him. I know the possibility of them not coming was driving him crazy and he almost seems relieved that we're taking care of it and there are no questions that they'll be there (at one point, we thought NO ONE from his family would be there). I'm not venting to him about it, because he does know. And having to hear it from someone else makes it that much worse and I don't want to be the cause of anymore stress with his family...he has enough already!
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      #13 MoonPalacePookie

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        Posted 29 May 2008 - 12:15 PM

        I think you're being absolutely wonderful to FI by doing this, I just hope he appreciates what you have to go through to make him happy. In that sense, I would say its totally worth it. On the other hand, FMIL and FSIL are total b$&#*s for letting you pay and putting you in that situation to start with. They should know better, you would think they would be happy to attend their sons/brothers wedding for his sake, not to get a free trip out of it.
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        #14 caroline

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          Posted 29 May 2008 - 12:22 PM

          Oh hell no! As someone else stated, it's HIS family, HE should be the one getting the second job!

          I hope to be able to help my MOH a little bit (she is travelling internationally) but I would not expect FI to automatically be okay with it. I get that it's essentially him paying too b/c let's face it, at the end of the day...

          But to offer to pay for his side of the family and not my own?!! I don't think it's really fair.

          I've adopted the attitude that if they want to make it, they will. There are times in my past where I managed to drum up the fare home for siblings weddings... numerous times! If it's important enough to them, they'll be there. And if it's not?! Well, I'll be nice and bite my tongue...

          #15 Hartyt509

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            Posted 29 May 2008 - 02:02 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Dez921714
            Harty, you really do make me laugh :)
            Glad to be of service lmao

            I know what you mean tho my FI has a horrific time with his stupid ass family. I even said the other day right thats it I've had enough i don't want to hear anymore cause it makes me want to drive down and beat the shit out of them lol So that you can keep quiet you may be my new hero lmao

            #16 beachbride08

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              Posted 29 May 2008 - 02:17 PM

              You are way too nice. Unless FI's family was homeless or something I wouldn't be paying for their trip to Mexico. I agree with one of the other posts that the FI should be working the second job to pay for their trips if they take you up on the offer.
              Michelle

              #17 cheese_diva

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                Posted 29 May 2008 - 02:33 PM

                Since this is really about your husband and his relationship with his family and not their lack of money or wanting to go.. I would consider it a gift to your future hubby.. try to leave the hard feelings out of it.

                Positive spin.. a wonderful gift for your man and his peace of mind that I'm sure he appreciates greatly.
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                #18 DanielleNDerek

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                  Posted 29 May 2008 - 02:42 PM

                  You are a sweetheart to offer to pay for them like that. It sounds like you are doing it for the welfare of your fi which is really supportive of you. I'm sure he needs his family there so as much as it pains you to have to pay for them, i think your doing the right thing for your fi. It just sucks that they are kinda a$$holes for letting you guys pay for them. I could never let someone pay for me like that, they can't even spring for the plane tickets or just the room. That's pretty ballsy. but i don't think that you should say anything to your fi or them about it. It could just ruin your relationship with fi's family.

                  Now you know never to offer to pay for anything for them again, cause they are the kinda people who will take u up on your offer.
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                  #19 Celina

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                    Posted 29 May 2008 - 02:55 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by Hartyt509
                    I understand that you are getting a 2nd job to help pay for the wedding and I'm sorry but this would piss me off even more - not to be rude but its FI's family let him get the 2nd bloody job!!
                    TOTALLY Agree with her here! However after reading about the stress with your FI - I can see why - just think it's BS! I would make sure FMIL & FSIL know about your second job. You may not be able to vent to FI, but I would drop some subltle lines to them directly.

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by MoonPalacePookie
                    I think you're being absolutely wonderful to FI by doing this, I just hope he appreciates what you have to go through to make him happy. In that sense, I would say its totally worth it. On the other hand, FMIL and FSIL are total b$&#*s for letting you pay and putting you in that situation to start with. They should know better, you would think they would be happy to attend their sons/brothers wedding for his sake, not to get a free trip out of it.
                    TOTALLY AGREE here too! If they aren't contributing SOMEHOW-SOMEWAY I would be Pissed!

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by DanielleNDerek
                    Now you know never to offer to pay for anything for them again, cause they are the kinda people who will take u up on your offer.
                    YEP!!

                    Dang Dez - this is jacked up! It's a double edged sword - on one hand you want to help make sure your FI has a great day with his family there - however on the other hand it is a HUGE expense - so much that you are getting a 2nd job. They better be appreciative. You are a saint in my book!
                    "Love is not who you live with...it's who you can't live without"

                    #20 Dez921714

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                      Posted 30 May 2008 - 06:46 PM

                      They all know I just got a second job. FSIL is excited about my discount....

                      FMIL's best friend just called us and told us she's in for the wedding and asked us to book her airline. I told her I would and I'd let her know how much and stuff...when did it become my job to book peoples airline? This I blam on his mom, she probably told her to call me and ask me to do it. I don't have the money for this. I am way too nice! FMIL's friend said looking up airline stuff online confuses her. She really is a sweet woman I couldn't say no. Hopefully, she'll reimburse us as soon as we tell her the cost (this sunda at her grandaughters communion).
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                      150 INVITES / 6 YES / 13 NO




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