Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Nic Dragomire

How to Shower!!

Recommended Posts

My wife just sent me this email and I about died laughing... enjoy!



Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to

lights and darks.


Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along

the way, cover up any exposed areas.


Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do

more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.


Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,

wide loofah and pumice stone.


Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.


Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.


Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.


Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.


Rinse conditioner off hair.


Shave armpits and legs.


Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.


Get out of shower.


Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair

in super absorbent towel.


Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel

on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up

any exposed areas.





Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed

and leave them in a pile.


Walk naked to the bathroom.


If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her

making the woo-woo sound.


Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the

size of your wiener and scratch your ass.


Get in the shower.


Wash your face.


Wash your armpits.


Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse

them off.


Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.


Spend majority of time washing privates and

surrounding area.


Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on

the soap.


Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.




Rinse off and get out of shower.


Partially dry off.


Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was

hanging out of tub the whole time.


Admire wiener size in mirror again.


Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and

fan on.


Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass

wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the

woo-woo sound again.


Throw wet towel on bed.


If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the

truth behind this?

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't believe you posted this b/c I had a "talk" with FI about bathroom etiquette. After showering he immediately steps onto the mat letting every ounce of water on his body drip so that when I enter the bathroom next I slip and go flying into the bathtub. He also brushes his teeth in the shower which drives me insane! To make matters worse he shaves inside the shower and leaves all these thick coarse hairs in the tub. He never rinses it so when I get to it it looks like we shaved a lamb. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!


And yes he leaves the wet towel on the bed and his clothes in a pile on the floor. *SERENITY NOW*

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

my fi's best friend emailed this to me a few weeks ago, i love it.


p.s. glenda, i cannot tell you how many times i have said *SERENITY NOW* this week, so seeing you write it made me laugh!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors

    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • Sorry you had to deal with this I hoped it worked out. It seems to be every few months a new store will be in the  'if' stage and to the 'when' stage.  Big businesses like this don't notify the employees or customers before they close down...that would cause even more losses.  One day there are signs on the door and the business is done.  And lots of people (employees and customers...not to mention the creditors that they owe millions to) get screwed immediately with little help to be found anywhere.  Look at alfred angelo, although they had less retail stores than David's Bridal, they may have had more sales than them as a company.  They were the largest manufacturer of dresses and were carried by thousands of independent stores across the world (not just the 60+ branded stores they had).  If you google search Davids Bridal going bankrupt, they are listed on all the sites that post retail stores on life support.  They have more debt than they will be able to service in 2019 and the only question right now is if they'll make it that far.  Once the debt comes due, it's almost a 100% certainty that the company will be done.  But it's also more probable than not that the bankruptcy will happen much sooner than that.  The argument about them getting a new line or how big they are isn't a good argument if you look at the history of how these normally happen.  Alfred Angelo had a brand new line of dresses that never even hit the stores but were made overseas already...those all made their first appearances at the liquidation auctions.  I'm not trying to scare anyone here, but just trying to make sure that people understand that when a company gets to this point, it's definitely a roll of the dice if you are ordering something that you can't take home today.  How much of a risk?  That's hard to say, but I am extremely confident that the pain felt when alfred angelo closed 61 stores will be even greater when Davids Bridal closes 300+ stores…and when there are other great discount dress stores out there like Bridepower or Vows Bridal Outlet on the East Coast or Brilliant Bridal in the West (and plenty of others as well), I don’t think I would personally recommend any of my friends to take that risk!  But that’s just me:)
    • Hello all!! I'm planning to get married next week. I'm working in an MNC and I'm gonna marry my colleague who is in my company. It's been ten months since we have started our relationship. He used to support in all my difficulties and used to help me in my work. Always he used to tell me about my smile. He says that I have a very good smile and he loves it. Recently I lost my front tooth after an accident and it resulted in a bad look for me. He told me that I lost my beautiful smile. I was totally disappointed and thought of finding a solution. I heard about dental dentures and took an appointment at a clinic in Scarborough. Will dentures affect my speech? What was your experience of getting dentures? 
    • Go for the third one. It is gorgeous and you will look stunning in that. I'm sure you will be noticed by other people. Go for it.
    • I would suggest the long one. You will look stunning in that. It is simple and elegant.
    • Both the gown are awesome and I'm sure you will look gorgeous in both. But I would suggest the first one. Go for it and Congratulations for your marriage.
  • Topics