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Nic Dragomire

How to Shower!!

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My wife just sent me this email and I about died laughing... enjoy!

 

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to

lights and darks.

 

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along

the way, cover up any exposed areas.

 

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do

more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

 

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,

wide loofah and pumice stone.

 

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

 

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

 

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

 

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

 

Rinse conditioner off hair.

 

Shave armpits and legs.

 

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

 

Get out of shower.

 

Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair

in super absorbent towel.

 

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel

on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up

any exposed areas.

 

 

 

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed

and leave them in a pile.

 

Walk naked to the bathroom.

 

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her

making the woo-woo sound.

 

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the

size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

 

Get in the shower.

 

Wash your face.

 

Wash your armpits.

 

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse

them off.

 

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

 

Spend majority of time washing privates and

surrounding area.

 

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on

the soap.

 

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

 

Pee.

 

Rinse off and get out of shower.

 

Partially dry off.

 

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was

hanging out of tub the whole time.

 

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

 

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and

fan on.

 

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass

wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the

woo-woo sound again.

 

Throw wet towel on bed.

 

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the

truth behind this?

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I can't believe you posted this b/c I had a "talk" with FI about bathroom etiquette. After showering he immediately steps onto the mat letting every ounce of water on his body drip so that when I enter the bathroom next I slip and go flying into the bathtub. He also brushes his teeth in the shower which drives me insane! To make matters worse he shaves inside the shower and leaves all these thick coarse hairs in the tub. He never rinses it so when I get to it it looks like we shaved a lamb. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

 

And yes he leaves the wet towel on the bed and his clothes in a pile on the floor. *SERENITY NOW*

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my fi's best friend emailed this to me a few weeks ago, i love it.

 

p.s. glenda, i cannot tell you how many times i have said *SERENITY NOW* this week, so seeing you write it made me laugh!

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