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BM Vent aka- I'll be wearing orange on my wedding day

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#1 ErinB


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    Posted 05 May 2008 - 01:11 PM

    I'll be wearing an orange jail jumpsuit on my wedding day because I'm going to KILL my bridesmaids!

    UPDATE #2

    BM still hasn't called me! We leave in 13 days! Luckily, my mom did get in touch with her and she said she could afford to go and she couldn't get off work. (When I first posted this she still hadn't asked for the time off!)

    So, mom contacted my best friend growing up. We saw each other everyday for 15 years until she moved. She recently graduated college so mom gave her the trip as her gift. She is such a sweet person and has overcome a pretty rough childhood, put herself through college, etc. We are both really proud of her.

    I didn't know any of this and was freaking out! Last week, we went out to lunch and Heather surprised me and said she was coming to the wedding. So, teh 3 of us are crying like idiots in the middle of the restaurant.

    So, everything happens for a reason and works out like it is supposed to. I should have chosen my bridal party based on true friendship over monetary and practical realities. In the 10 days she has been a BM she has done more than my others!

    MOH paid half of her trip (after her credit card was declined) and is supposed to pay me the other half.

    We booked our trip as a group (big mistake) but anyway, the money i.e. payment in full was due Friday. Well, I get a call from my MOH on THURSDAY that she doesn't know if she can go. She doesn't think she can afford it. We leave in 5 f-ing weeks!

    The other BM is her cousin. She has been avoiding my calls for the past few weeks but I really didn't think anything of it because we've been so busy. Well, the reason she was avoiding me is because she doesn't think she can afford to go either and she didn't want to tell me.

    So now, I've got to pay for the seats anyway because we are under contract, and pray to god they pay me back the $2000 each they owe for the trip! I don't have $4000 to be throwing around right now! I am LIVID to say the least. We have all been BFF since freshman year of high school, like 15 years ago! We talk every day! Did they honestly think that I wouldn't notice if they didn't show at the airport and stuck me with teh bill for the trip. Then MOH had the audactiy to say, "Well, I never knew how much it was. I really only thought it would cost me $1000 or less." OK, so 1) I have no idea where she got the $1000 figure. We have a website, STDs, BM Newsletters, etc. that clearly state the price. 2) Even if she thought it was $1000, why the F does she now not have the $1000?

    The trip for all of our other guests was $2225 total for 8 days. I paid $300 in deposits and bought their dresses, shoes, jewelry, OOT Bags, gifts, etc. I cannot believe they are pulling this crap now! The balance is $1850 for a full week, all inclusive. That is NOT a bad price and they have know about it since March of 2007!

    AHHHHHH! There aren't enough smilies to express the frustration, anger, and hurt feelings I have right now. They both know I would NEVER put them in this situation.

    Why didn't I listen to LC_Rachel when she said be sure your bridesmaids aren't stupid!?!?!?

    #2 lucy106

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      Posted 05 May 2008 - 01:15 PM

      WTF!!! That is insane! How much more notice can you give them? That is so inconsiderate of them to just avoid you, I mean grow the f up!!! So sorry to hear you are going through all this nonsense! You dont need this stress thats for damn sure!

      #3 Jacqueline

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        Posted 05 May 2008 - 01:19 PM

        omg that is terrible!! im sorry! did you voice your opinion to them about how inconsiderate this is??!! i def would let them have an earful. some people cant make it, fine, but dont come THIS far and bail last minute.

        #4 Celina

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          Posted 05 May 2008 - 02:26 PM

          What little witches they are!! They both ought to take their un thankful behinds to the nearest mall and find them a 2nd job to pay you back!!
          "Love is not who you live with...it's who you can't live without"

          #5 Kristy!


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            Posted 05 May 2008 - 02:32 PM

            Wow, that is just wrong. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I would be realyl pissed as well. Definitely let them know how much they are screwing you.

            #6 Spazz

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              Posted 05 May 2008 - 02:34 PM

              Oh no, I am so sorry! That just really really sucks and is plain ignorant of the 2 of them.

              #7 cheese_diva

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                Posted 05 May 2008 - 02:34 PM

                I'm so sorry you're going through this right now.. they should have told you much sooner if they were having problems coming up with the money.

                Maybe they were counting on a larger tax refund? Are they getting stimulus checks that could help? Any way to shorten their time there? Do they need to go for that long? My parents couldn't afford more than 3 nights so that's all they stayed.
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                #8 jajajaja

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                  Posted 05 May 2008 - 02:38 PM

                  Well crap, I just adviced to make sure they weren't stupid and stand in the wrong order or forget to pack undies. This is WAY beyond stupidity.

                  Here's my problem with people in general. Not just annoying wedding guests and stupid bridal parties. People tend to say "ya sure! I'll be there" but not really stick by what they said. Flakiness is all to common and it's just downright ridiculous. There is no excuse for it. If you saying you are going to do something, then F*ing do it!

                  Unfortunately, the time we get to learn this lesson the hardest is during our weddings. The way people really are becomes apparent really quick!

                  Now, there is a huge difference of telling you first, sure they would like to go and then changing their song a year ahead of time. YOU LEAVE IN A MONTH! I know I wouldn't have $4000 sitting around to cover this expense. I hope you make it well known how much it's costing you because that is ridiculous. At this point, they need to suck it up and whip out their F*ing CC.

                  Sorry- this crap makes me irate. I deal with flakiness all the time from a couple of my friends and at any level, it's not ok. Do what you say you are going to do! Period!
                  Happily married since 2008

                  #9 ErinB


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                    Posted 05 May 2008 - 02:51 PM

                    Originally Posted by LC_Rachel
                    Sorry- this crap makes me irate. I deal with flakiness all the time from a couple of my friends and at any level, it's not ok. Do what you say you are going to do! Period!
                    Exactly! In our group I'm known as the "responsible one". I was the one who kept room keys on spring break, I made sure everyone got into a cab and made it home, I lied to parents when they were spending the night with boys, I wrote flash cards to help with tests, etc. No matter what was going on in my life or how drunk I was, I could always manage to take care of myself and the rest of them!

                    I think that is what upsets me most is that I would never do this. And, it's not like MOH and BM have been there for me 100% with the planning. Neither is hosting a shower or the bachelorette. I didn't push it because I knew they were going to be spending money for the wedding and some friends who aren't going stepped in and offered.

                    And the bullshit about not knowing how much the trip cost?!?! Neither of them ever said, "Hey, how much is this going to cost?" I told them when I started planning and I asked them to be in the wedding it would be 2000 and I understood if they said no. I agree, you need to do what you say you will do. We aren't 14 or 19 or 22 anymore. We're 26-27 year old adults!

                    They know all of the problems we've had with FI's family dropping out on us and us already losing money on them. Both were vewry vocal about how crappy that was and now they turn around and do the same thing! But not really, because I bail them out yet again.

                    I don't want this to put a damper on the fun at the wedding and I certainly am not looking forward to playing debt collector when we return.

                    #10 Bride010101

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                      Posted 05 May 2008 - 02:55 PM

                      omg! I'm so sorry that you have to be dealing with this... especially so close to your day!

                      I just don't get people! They had over a year to figure it out... people suck!

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