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Friend Drama... Need Advice

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#1 Kat81

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    Posted 09 April 2008 - 10:09 PM

    OK here is the background.
    I am from California. I have three really good guy friends from there. I have stayed really close to them since moving to Texas. When I got to Texas I met one of my bridesmaids. Her and I hit it off and did everything together. I decided to go to Cali to visit and took her with me. She ended up hooking up with one of my really good friends there. We were there two weeks and they dated the whole time. Then we came back to Texas and like two months later he came and visited for two weeks. Anyway, they were together about four months long distance. They started talking about marriage and all kinds of stuff. I tried to stay out of it. Then she moved back to her hometown which is like two hours from me. When she got there she met her now husband. She was still technically with my friend from Cali but fell hard for this other guy and now they are married and have a baby. When my friend from cali found out she was with this other guy he flipped out and threatened the new guy blah blah blah stupid guy stuff.
    Fast forward to now. I ALWAYS forget that those four months happened and they ever dated. I never think about it. So, I asked my girlfriend to be my MTOH. Her and her husband are so excited about coming. Without thinking I also invited my guy friend from Cali. It wasn't until I got off the phone with him I though OH CRAP!! My girlfriend is a drama queen when she gets drunk and I am afraid something might happen. What should I do? Should I kinda become hard to get ahold of to my guy friend and blame it on being so busy? Should I let him come in hopes they are grown up and won't be stupid? I asked my girlfriend about it and she said I dont care if he is there as long as he doesnt start anything with dave (her husband) I don't think he would. I am pretty sure he is WAY over it... anyway this is a lot longer than I planned. What do you girls think?

    #2 Dez921714

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      Posted 09 April 2008 - 10:20 PM

      I think they are adults and should act like it. They are there for you, not each other, even if it means avoiding each other the whole time.

      Just make sure each knows the other is coming and if they can't deal with it, then they will make the choice not to come.
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      #3 Alyssa

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        Posted 09 April 2008 - 10:28 PM

        i think that the past is in the past and out of respect for you they should keep their drama away from your wedding day.

        i would make sure they see eachother a day or 2 before the wedding to get whatever weirdness or beef out of the way

        #4 boscobel

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          Posted 09 April 2008 - 10:54 PM

          How long ago did this all happen? If it was like 10 months ago and still fresh wounds, it's one thing. But if this was a few years ago, they should be over it by now.

          I would hope, if it were my friends, that they could put that drama aside for my wedding. But ultimatley, I think you know best. Do you thnk he will start drama with the hubbie? So you think SHE will start drama with ex?

          #5 ErinB


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            Posted 09 April 2008 - 10:57 PM

            I agree with everyone else.

            If you tell both of them the situation before the wedding, then they need to be adult enough to control themselves out of respect for you, your friendship, and your wedding. If either of them can't, then they need to be adult enough to politely decline the invitation.

            #6 Kat81

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              Posted 09 April 2008 - 10:59 PM

              I honestly think it will be OK but you know how people get when they drink. Things get taken out of context and people say things they don't mean. I am just going with the benefit of the doubt that they will be mature and get along. Or just stay on their side of the room. I don't want tension for anyone, but I guess I can't control them. My girlfriend drinks and says stupid things sometimes. This was all about two years ago though. Hopefully, it will all be water under the bridge.

              #7 beachbride08

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                Posted 09 April 2008 - 11:24 PM

                I think you need to let the guy friend know she is standing up in the wedding and that she and her hubby will be there. Just make sure he is OK with it, but I'm sure he will respect that it is your wedding day and not cause drama for you. Plus, if it was a 4 month relationship a long time ago I'm sure it is water under the bridge.

                #8 DanielleNDerek

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                  Posted 09 April 2008 - 11:28 PM

                  I agree with the other girls that said to just let your friends know. They should be able to act like adults at your wedding, it's your day they should know better than to ruin it. I would just let them know this way they are forewarned. Two years is a long time, and hopefully he's over it and she can let things go too.
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                  #9 Yari

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                    Posted 10 April 2008 - 12:06 AM

                    I agree with everyone else, it is water under the bridge.

                    #10 BarefootBride

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                      Posted 10 April 2008 - 12:08 AM

                      Let them start acting like adults. If something goes down just remember that they are responsible for their own actions. (They better not ruin your wedding!!!)
                      First of all talk to your guy friend about it. Maybe he should bring a date or something to distract him.

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