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ErinB

Confessions

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DW- I was born in Redding. SHOUT OUT! But seriously, I am sorry your in laws are so ridiculous.

 

Gator- My girlfriends let me down a lot too during this process. One of which I pretty much hardly talk to anymore. Not that I expected the world to stop because I was getting married but more because I needed someone to be there for me and they really sucked. Anyway, hang in there! That is what we are all here for.

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DW- I was born in Redding. SHOUT OUT! But seriously, I am sorry your in laws are so ridiculous.

 

Gator- My girlfriends let me down a lot too during this process. One of which I pretty much hardly talk to anymore. Not that I expected the world to stop because I was getting married but more because I needed someone to be there for me and they really sucked. Anyway, hang in there! That is what we are all here for.

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Originally Posted by FLgator View Post
I confess.... that I feel like I don't have any truly good friends anymore.
I know exactly what you mean. Some of my best friends are my forum friends. They are certainly more up to date with my life than my 'in person' friends.

I have 1 friend that quit speaking to me all together. I don't know if she was mad about me not asking her to be in the wedding or what. I have another few that are still really distant. When we talk we are fine, but I do feel like they weren't really supportive. One of my BMs is very self-absorbed and even though she was on our trip, she's fallen off the face of the earth. We moved into our new house in Sept. and she hasn't come to see it. She works 2 blocks away!

I do have to wonder how much of it was wedding related or just our lives taking different courses. A lot of my married friends are on baby 1 or 2 right now and my single friends don't really want to go bar hopping with the old married lady.

It has taken me a while to sort of let go, which I haven't completely, but it's been almost a year. I think this is just part of growing up and establishing a new adult life with a partner.

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Originally Posted by Kat81 View Post
DW- I was born in Redding. SHOUT OUT! But seriously, I am sorry your in laws are so ridiculous.

Gator- My girlfriends let me down a lot too during this process. One of which I pretty much hardly talk to anymore. Not that I expected the world to stop because I was getting married but more because I needed someone to be there for me and they really sucked. Anyway, hang in there! That is what we are all here for.
I dig Redding, but after driving through last August and it was 100 degrees outside at 9pm, no thank you!

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Originally Posted by FLgator View Post
I confess.... that I feel like I don't have any truly good friends anymore. Those few I thought were my best friends really let me down this past year when it came to our wedding, three in particular. Two of them haven't even picked up the phone to see how the wedding was or say congrats, not even a darn card! All I got was a couple posts on facebook about my pictures and how they want to hear all about it. Well if you want to hear about it then pick up the freakin phone and call me! I was in one of their weddings just over a year ago...went to the shower, planned the bach party, was in the wedding, and she can't even pick up the phone and say congratulations! Are you kidding me! I had a shower thrown by my now MIL in which not one of my friends attended b/c it was in another state. I never had a bach. party b/c no one ever offered to throw one for me. Then the same friends that "wouldn't miss my wedding for anything" found that they had better things to do. One even flew to DC for the inaugral ball, and told me she really wanted to go to the ball b/c she may never get the chance to again....did she think she was going to get another chance to go to my wedding??! I really just want to say forget them and our friendship, but I am not sure if I am overreacting.

I know a lot of girls on here expressed their disappointment with friends and family. My question is when it came to those that really let you down (not those that had legit excuses), what ended up happening with your friendship with those people. Did you just get over it, or did your friendship change or even end?

Ok, I feel a little better now and I am done ranting.
I had an issue with my sister not attending my wedding reception. We were married in Florida and she skipped out of the reception with her boyfriend to pick her daughter up from the airport. Well, they never made it because they decided to go to Miami instead. It has been 5 months and I still am not over it. We have a very "safe" relationship now. I hate that we are not as close as we used to be, but I just feel that she has changed so much since meeting her butthole of a boyfriend.

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I have been very lucky that my best friends and BMs have been great about everything with my DW (so far). They are all booked and ready to go. That being said, these are friends that I have had for almost 20 years (geesh that feels old to type).

 

Now, friends that I've made in the past 20, not one of them is going to my DW, they "may" make it to my AHR and I've decided to TRY to not care. It's tough b/c we want everyone to be as excited as we are and it is easy to say that someone doesn't care about us or our wedding if they show no interest or are just plain a**holes about it, but I try to remember that everyone has their own issues and dramas and it isn't always about me. I don't believe that anyone is trying to hurt my feelings or anything, they just aren't as close as I thought they were, good to know.

 

Whenever there are big changes made in life you really get to see who is going to be there for you. If there are people that are not there for you now try to distance yourself from their lives as well, if they aren't there for the good times they won't be there for the bad.

 

Okay, so I started this post with good intentions of helping FLgator and others but now that I've reread it I'm not sure it does. So, everyone feeling blue about friends/family and their poopiness about your DW say the following affirmation ~ "I AM A GOOD PERSON AND I AM GOING TO HAVE A KICK-A** WEDDING IN ______ (INSERT LOCATION HERE). I WILL NOT THINK OF ANY ANNOYING, SELFISH, RUDE, SMALL-MINDED PEOPLE ON MY WEDDING DAY! THEY CAN ALL LICK THE SAND OFF MY PERFECTLY PEDICURED FEET!"

 

Whew ~ I feel better!

 

smile03.gif

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Originally Posted by FLgator View Post
I confess.... that I feel like I don't have any truly good friends anymore. Those few I thought were my best friends really let me down this past year when it came to our wedding, three in particular. Two of them haven't even picked up the phone to see how the wedding was or say congrats, not even a darn card! All I got was a couple posts on facebook about my pictures and how they want to hear all about it. Well if you want to hear about it then pick up the freakin phone and call me! I was in one of their weddings just over a year ago...went to the shower, planned the bach party, was in the wedding, and she can't even pick up the phone and say congratulations! Are you kidding me! I had a shower thrown by my now MIL in which not one of my friends attended b/c it was in another state. I never had a bach. party b/c no one ever offered to throw one for me. Then the same friends that "wouldn't miss my wedding for anything" found that they had better things to do. One even flew to DC for the inaugral ball, and told me she really wanted to go to the ball b/c she may never get the chance to again....did she think she was going to get another chance to go to my wedding??! I really just want to say forget them and our friendship, but I am not sure if I am overreacting.

I know a lot of girls on here expressed their disappointment with friends and family. My question is when it came to those that really let you down (not those that had legit excuses), what ended up happening with your friendship with those people. Did you just get over it, or did your friendship change or even end?

Ok, I feel a little better now and I am done ranting.

Yeah, I feel your pain. My friends couldnt give a F**K less about my wedding. Im not asking for everyone to drop what they're doing and come to the wedding or plan elaborate parties, but I didnt even get a "hey congrats" after we got engaged or after we sent the invites -- from a large majority of my "close" friends. Some were even mad that we werent having any AHR. Im pretty pissed with a lot of these "friends" of mine. Considering that I put time, effort and money (not that money is factor) into all of their weddings. I need new friends. Im done with a lot of them.

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Originally Posted by Sloan View Post
Yeah, I feel your pain. My friends couldnt give a F**K less about my wedding. Im not asking for everyone to drop what they're doing and come to the wedding or plan elaborate parties, but I didnt even get a "hey congrats" after we got engaged or after we sent the invites -- from a large majority of my "close" friends. Some were even mad that we werent having any AHR. Im pretty pissed with a lot of these "friends" of mine. Considering that I put time, effort and money (not that money is factor) into all of their weddings. I need new friends. Im done with a lot of them.
I need new friends too!! Move to KW!! :)

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Originally Posted by FLgator View Post
I confess.... that I feel like I don't have any truly good friends anymore.
Gator, I too know exactly how you feel. My 2nd best friend (I know thats a really immature way to put it) never called after my wedding, and didn't even get us a gift. The weird thing is that she is getting married a few months and am I supposed to just not give her a gift or a card? I know I sounds hung up on the gift and its not that, but it does seem a little gesture from your best friends isnt too much to ask. WHen we got home from Mexico, my husband I talked about getting new friends and maybe joining some meetup groups to meet new couples. We were so let down by so many people that we thought maybe it would hurt less to just start from scratch.

So, you arent alone...I know how you feel.

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Oh and PS. after the AWESOME support we got from everyone (sarcastic) I was like screw having an AHR. Who would I even invite? People let us down so much, why would I then spend more money to put on a party for these slackers?

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