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Not sure how to handle this ...

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#1 AlmostMrsForbes

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    Posted 05 February 2008 - 04:43 PM

    OK - my two co-maids of honor (who aren't close friends - just know one another through me) agreed to room together at the wedding because it saves them each like $300 by not having to get a single room. Both were single, so it worked out.

    Well, one of my MOH, Kelly, started dating this guy about a month ago. It has been this whirlwind romance, and they are now supposedly pretty serious - seeing one another exclusively, spending all their time together, etc. I am very supportive, as Kelly seems really happy.

    Here's the problem - now Kelly tells me that she wants to bring her boyfriend to the wedding. I totally don't care about that - not a big deal. The issue is that it leaves Angie (the other MOH) out in the cold. Now, she has no one to room with, and is going to have to pay another $300 - it may mean that she isn't able to go! Kelly wants me to tell Angie as she doesn't really know her that well.

    I don't know how to handle this. Should I stay out of it? Should I tell Kelly that she should honor her commitment? Do I offer to subsidize the extra that Angie will have to pay?

    Ugh ... I'm not even going to address whether this guy will be around in 3 months or not ...

    Any advice is greatly appreciated! Thanks girls!

    #2 jajajaja

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      Posted 05 February 2008 - 04:50 PM

      Wow. How thoughtful of you to even consider this. First of all, I think your MOH has no right to back out of the arrangements. If she REALLY wants him to go, then I think she should pay for the room she currently has arranged and pay for the room to have her boyfriend in.

      I mean, is that fair to Angie that a few months before the wedding she can't go when she thought it was all taken care of? I have two guests bunking up to that have never even met eachother. One is recently divorced and the other is happy married, but her husband couldn't make it. If her husband decided he could come late in the game, I would try my best to find a different solution, but if nothing panned out, in the end she already paid.
      Happily married since 2008

      #3 boscobel

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        Posted 05 February 2008 - 04:50 PM

        Oh jeez. This is not your problem! Your friend should act like a grown woman and tell the other girl herself. Give her time to find a replacement or another roomie. I don't think it's up to your to subsidize the differernce. However, if you are in a position to do so, that might lessen the blow. That situation suck!

        #4 AlmostMrsForbes

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          Posted 05 February 2008 - 04:52 PM

          i agree - the situation sucks! i feel like kelly is just in love right now and not really seeing (or caring) how her actions are affecting angie. maybe when i tell her angie may not be able to go she'll wisen up ... here's hoping!

          #5 jajajaja

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            Posted 05 February 2008 - 04:56 PM

            Well and really, they have only dated a month. Like they can't separate for a few days for her to go to her best friend's wedding. I hope she would be wise enough and considerate enough to look beyond her feelings and realize this is your wedding. She should be doing what's most imporant to you and if that means bunking up with your other best friend, well then do it! That's what friends do.
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            #6 TATrisha


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            Posted 05 February 2008 - 04:57 PM

            I would tell her that it's her responsibility for sure! If she wants to break the committment, which is basically an oral contract, she will have to pay the penalties! Which, in this case is the $300 for Angie. It's just plain rude otherwise.


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            #7 Gretchen

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              Posted 05 February 2008 - 05:09 PM

              At the VERY VERY least, I think she should AT LEAST offer to split the difference. She could pay $150 or $200 to Angie to help make up for not sharing. That stinks for you!
              Gretchen "GiGi"

              #8 StephanieMN

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                Posted 05 February 2008 - 05:48 PM

                Yeah this isn't really something that either of them should be asking you to get involved in. Maybe they are missing the point behind being MOH's--help YOU out not make you so work for them.
                I would suggest just staying out of it at this point. Good luck.

                #9 CarrieRN

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                  Posted 05 February 2008 - 10:23 PM

                  I think your friend and her boyfriend should pay the $300 if she changes arrangements and decides to book a room with him.

                  At my sister's DW, I was actually in a room by myself. I was supposed to stay with my dad but then he met someone, got engaged and she came to Mexico. So, I got my own room! Luckily for me, he was paying for me to go anyhow. So, when my stepmom booked, she paid as a single and then we switched rooms.

                  But your other bridesmaid should not have to pay the extra money. She is honoring the original agreement.
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                  #10 JUSTUSTWO


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                    Posted 05 February 2008 - 10:29 PM

                    That really sucks! I think its great though that you would consider paying the difference for Angie. I think you should talk to Kelly & tell her what an inconveinence this would be for Angie. How would she feel if Angie pulled the same thing & she was stuck having to pay for a room by herself? I mean wasn't the whole idea that they would be saving $ rooming together? How do you plan to do something & then just pull out? Especially when you've budgeted for something specific? You should bring up the fact that Angie may not be able to go because she can't afford to room alone. She should really think about that! Other than that, is there anyone else Angie could possibly room with?

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