wow it's nice to realise you are not alone in this..... we had all of my FI's groomsman say YES right away but then when it came time to book they started avoiding him completely!! one told us he couldnt go because his FI just lost a job (she has like 3) and he couldnt afford to pay for her too which was fine. but a week later she was working at another place but nope they arent coming. then my FI's other groomsman is totally avoiding us! wont answer texts, calls, emails, FB msgs, or Xbox msgs!!! my question is that if you are unsure if you can come why say YES right away to being a groomsman. i know my FI is upset, really upset, but is trying to hide his disappointment in his friends. His aunt and uncle did the same thing to him too!! they have been buggin and joking about us getting married for years!!!! we have always told them we are doing destination and told them to start saving a couple years ago to which they said they wouldnt miss this for the world! well what do you think happened.....they arent coming cause they cant afford it! wth! its crazy how unconsiderate people can be!!! lying to us and telling us you want to come and are coming but having no intention to come is just stupid! dont people realise being upfront and honest is all we want. everyone who plans a destination wedding understands some ppl just wont be able to come and we are prepared for that. it is when they keep telling us they are comign or the 'want' to come and then avoid us or keep deferring the questions is when we get upset! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr