Vikki

My dog will go with my parents dog to a boarding place then when they get home they'll pick both up and keep them until we get back. The cats...well, they'll be fine. They're spoiled rotten and a week or so of alone time will do them good. We went on a 3 week trip last summer and looked into boarding them but it was going to cost almost $1000.00 at our vet (the only place I would trust). I ended up having the neighbor come over and it worked out really well. They were happy to see us but much less stressed than they would have been if they were at the kitty hotel. And we had extra money for our trip!

Quote: Originally Posted by Shannond4156 I think you got your answer so I won't add to that. But I think what you do need to do is take a big deep breath! There will be lots of twists and turns that come up with planning your destintation wedding. You will be hurt by people that can't come and by the reasons they give you. On the upside though you will be amazed by the people that take the time, money and effort to come celebrate with you. Focus on these people and how great your day will be. If someone agrees to be a part of your wedding day; chances are they will do what they can to make it. However, life sometimes gets in the way and if they are truly close friends the money will work itself out in the end! Happy Planning. Well said Shannon.

Very Nice! I love it. Want to do mine now?

Yay! 9 more days girl! You're almost there. I'm the same camera freak-but I have so many wonderful pictures that bring back memories. So keep clicking!

Gee thanks-now I want M&Ms too....

Yay! Congrats-I'm glad you had a wonderful time.

((hugs)) I think the ring/garter idea is so wonderful. Even if you can't find the ring maybe there's something else you can use. I think many of us are "missing" someone from our special day but they will be right there, even if we can't see them. Kleenex in the FI's pocket might be a good idea though...

Ugh-same situation. The fi and ex own a house and it's worth probably $60K less then they owe. She's living in it and so far has kept up on the payments. But he's stuck with his name on that loan until the house sells or refis....neither of which seem likely. It kills his debt ratio if we looked at upgrading to a larger house. And in case she stops making payments or defaults we're keeping our assets separate until the whole thing is wrapped up, which could take several years. Have you talked to your lender about re-amoritizing the loan or options they have to help you? It costs them a lot more money to foreclose than to work with you-although it doesn't always end up that way. Good luck and I hope you find a solution. This new program is still getting from the planning to implementing stage. Institutions are still figuring out how to provide and structure those loan changes. As time goes on it will be easier to work with but I don't think anybody knows for sure how it's going to work right now.

So this is what I'm going to email her-now that I'm feeling really dumb about the whole thing. I should have known it wasn't appropriate to ask. Thanks for the advice. After I emailed that question to you I realized it was completely inappropriate to ask someone to host a reception for me. I really did not think the request through and I want to apologize for putting you in that position. I don't want you and Calvin to feel obligated to do anything more than you already are. We are happy you are able to join us in Jamaica and appreciate your support. As we get closer to the holidays we will look into the details of coming for Christmas and make arrangements that will fit you schedules. Hopefully you can make it out here in July to spend some time with Mom and I getting things ready. (And Brandon of course!). Thanks, Vikki

Haha - re-reading this I wonder if we all spend too much time watching TV? But...I don't think I'm going to stop.

See - this is why I posted. You guys have great things to consider. Actually - I'm not offended by the comments about it being inappropriate to ask them to host an AHR-I didn't know the rules around the whole thing and just assumed it was normal for someone else to do it because of the way my Mom approached it. It hadn't even occured to me that I shouldn't ask. With our not being local I just wouldn't have known where to start.... Guess I ought to brush up on the rules for who does what. We have not asked for (or received) any kind of assistance with the wedding from his family-which is o.k. To B's credit I think he's learning how to be comfortable with who he is coming from a situation where he has been constantly put down. I did give him an "I message" last night and explain to him that when he says those things I form opinions and feelings with that in mind. I don't think he realized what he was saying was sticking with me the way it was and I'm going to try to keep an open mind and he's going to work on finding some positive ways to describe his family and promote our relationship with his family. Like I mentioned, my parents think I'm being overly sensitive about the whole thing and I know I kind of am too-but sometimes those gut reactions can't be helped. I do think that his mom could have been a little less vauge in her response, the tone just didn't sit right with me. Having had interactions with her before and hearing B's side of many phone conversations I just didn't get a positive feeling about it-even though it was very nice. She seems to have no problem giving B reasons for specific decisions she makes about things regarding us. I will absolutely respect her wishes about not wanting to put on anything and won't go around that to plan my own. Looking at the responses I shouldn't have even asked her in the first place but since I can't undo that maybe I'll just ask if we can bring some of our pictures or something to show if it is appropriate. Thanks for the advice and setting me straight on the "rules" lol. I'll update after I've had a chance to communicate with her (I should probably call instead of email).

Ok-the background. My fiance and I have been together for a little over 2 years. We met while he was still married but because we lived on opposite sides of the country there was no inappropriate behavior. But, he did leave his wife to move in with me. There were a lot of marital issues in their relationship, an affair and some other ongoing things. His leaving had been a probable thing without me but I gave him a reason to do it at that time. The divorce was filed as soon as his residency became official in our state. So he's been living with me for the last two years and he proposed in March. His parents were out for Thanksgiving the year he moved here and then his Dad came out last summer and did a backpacking trip with us and my Dad. So I've had a chance to interact with them and they've met my parents. They were very uncomfortable with me in the beginning and still don't really like me (implied by my fiance). They did however LOVE my parents so that helped a little. The entire time we've been together my fiance has talked about his family with disclaimers - "they're a bunch of crazy rednecks" "my mom is nuts" "you won't like them" "my mom says one thing and does another" "I've been married before so they've already had to go through this" "don't expect anyone to really get excited since I've been married before" "I think my Mom liked ( his ex) better" and so on. This is 90% of what comes out of his mouth when he talks about them. He does say he wants me to meet his family and he misses spending time with them but then he sets my experience up to be a negative one. So my reactions and perceptions of his family are based on these communications he has with me. Last Thanksgiving he flew home. I stayed here because we had just returned from Taiwan and I also had a friend staying at the house and wanted to spend time with him. The only times his family gets together are Thanksgiving and Christmas-with the main hoilday being Christmas. I'm sorry but it's freaking expensive and irritating to travel over the Christmas Holiday. Especially when I'm being told how miserable a time I'm going to have. Unfortunately my family is very close and totally awesome and we spend a lot of time there. Keep in mind I have never implied anything negative about my family in my discussions with him and they love him. So-finally my point. I emailed his Mom (I'm trying to build a relationship with her) and told her my mom is putting on a little AHR for us sometime in January when our extended family visits and asked if we were to come home for Christmas if she would like to do something small so I would have a chance to meet the family. I asked if it would be easier over the holidays since everyone gathers (from what my fiance has said). She said she would have to think about it and talk to his Dad. So I get this email last night and it just really rubbed me the wrong way. "We are glad that you are getting married and we know that getting to know the family is important. We are proud of both of you but we hope that you will not be disappointed and offended by us not wishing to do a reception at this time. We think it would just be good for you to come and be a part of the family. Maybe we could plan something nice for you and Brandon on your first anniversary and include the family." And I'm like wtf-is it only worth celebrating this event after we've proved we can make it a year? Do I have to prove something before we get the opportunity get some sort of recognition? I don't care at all about gifts. We don't need anything. But I feel that because I'm the second wife that I'm being treated differently. They had a decent sized wedding and reception for his first marriage, all I'm asking for is a small AHR. FFS it could be a casserole in somebody's living room. Just somewhere we can have this event be acknowledged. I'm sorry but we only get to have a wedding reception once-it's not like a random thing you just do. And of course I'm reading more into it because a) all I know of his mom is that "she's crazy" "she says one thing and does another" and c) "she likes (his ex) better". So between that and all the stuff he's said that makes me feel like I won't fit in with his family, they won't like me, I'll have a miserable time I'm getting the impression that they're not really all that happy about this wedding. I think they're only coming to Jamaica because they feel obligated to and probably they feel forced into it because I'm the one that made the decision to get married there. So I didn't email her back. I talked to both of my parents and they think I'm going a little overboard. I tend to agree but I can't help that it makes me feel like I'm not an important enough part of his life to deserve attention. I know I'm being selfish but isn't this supposed to be the time that we're recognized for cementing our future together? I feel like if I was his first wife the family would be excited to meet me rather than curious and aprehensive. He's frustrated with me because he thinks I'll never want to spend time with his family (I wonder why) and can't understand why I'm being so selfish. So, I guess I need the rest of you to tell me I'm being ridiculous too-I just can't help but feel "disappointed and offended" about it.

Yay! Congrats ladies (and gents). Another week with some close numbers at the top. This is sooo much more fun that trying to do this alone. The competitive me just kicks into full gear.

Awww, what a sweetie. I think guys feel such pressure to have this exotic proposal sometimes and it's overwhelming to them. I'm glad he was able to do something he felt was special, even if he was nervous as hell! Congratulations!

Quote: Originally Posted by TA Jill Besides my complete melt down on monday, when I couldn't stop shoving cookies in my mouth, I did fairly good during the week, not perfect, but decent. After the cookie incident on monday I went to the gym and did a step class, didn't eat anything else, and ate light yesterday, so I managed to lose this week, yay! So...did you at least bake the cookies before eating them? I battled the most intense cravings for cookie dough last week. Sunday and Monday I lost the battle and finished off an entire container of pre-made chocolate chip cookie dough from Papa Murphy's.

Welcome Amber! Our situations are similar. We looked at Sandals first but decided on Couples. Now that I've been on the forums I wish I had looked around a little more but at the same time I'm kind of glad I didn't-too many choices is not always a good thing! And I know we'll be very happy with the resort we chose. The family will come in with us a few days before the wedding then leave the day after and we'll stay for another 4 days. It's a perfect mix of vacation/wedding/honeymoon for all of us. Just try to narrow down what's most important to you and pick from there. And if you want a photographer recommendation I'm using a wonderful lady from Negril that has completely eliminated the stress I was under about wedding pictures. Congrats and happy planning!

Congratulations on your engagement and welcome to the forums!

Welcome and congrats. I had the same concerns and will be paying $500 to bring an outside photographer on the resort. But I couldn't handle not knowing who was taking the pictures in advance and I'm kind of picky about what I like so it's worth it. Good luck with your planning!

You are gonna look wonderful! I love the dress. Even if the sizing isn't perfect with the style of dress it shouldn't be too difficult to work around.

Quote: Originally Posted by Erika J Yay. I share some excitement with you, I am down to my 2003 weight. I have been trying since Mid Feb and have lost 18 lbs. 4 lbs and I will be to my half way point. I did not lose as much as last week but I did not eat very well. (lots of drinking on fri, mothers day, ice cream on Monday). Woot! Congrats to you too. I just keep telling myself "never again..." everytime that scale goes lower. If we keep it up we'll easily be there by the big day. November is coming fast though....

Hiya Elvis - you're not alone, there's several guys running around here somewhere. I think it's cool you're taking on lots of the planning so your fiance can work on school. You'll find lots of helpful information here. Congratulations on your engagement and Welcome!

Welcome and congratulations on your engagement!

Welcome and congratulations! You'll find planning gets a lot easier with all the information on the forums.

Woot! Another Jamaica bride. Congratulations and welcome!

What wonderful co-workers! Just think-next time you go back to work you'll be a Mrs!! Congratulations.