Just as everyone else has said, it is so brave of you to be so honest and up front about your feelings. Good for you!!
Getting close to the wedding definitely is a stressful time for anyone, and really makes you start to think about what "forever" means as you see how your significant other operates under pressure. Something I would really recommend, for you and anyone else reading this, is taking a marriage preparation course. It's almost like pre-emptive couples counseling, in a way - it opens up a space for you and your almost-hubby to hammer out how you'll deal with issues BEFORE them become big problems, from money to kids to emotional expectations and more.
My FI and I did this as a part of the Catholic marriage process since it's a requirement. I'm the Catholic one and he's Baptist, so he was EXTREMELY hesitant about this at first, but it has actually been such a wonderful experience for both of us and has made of feel truly ready to be married. One of the best parts was a day-long retreat with other couples where we got to discuss different marriage issues and issues between ourselves, and a part of our conversation was me saying that I needed him to step up a little more and make more decisions instead of letting me handle everything. Discussing it in an open, honest way has really made a huge difference for us and I think will really help us in our future. It was a great way for us to remain focused on being married instead of just getting caught up in the wedding.
Obviously most people on here aren't Catholic, but I'm sure they offer different workshops like this for anyone, or that a marriage counselor would have some kind of service to offer.
Anyway, I hope everything works out with you, and follow your heart and your gut, and don't let all the wedding preparations distract you from whether or not you want to actually be married.
Good luck with everything!
Edited by rachelia160, 14 May 2015 - 04:27 AM.