33 replies to this topic

[MissJen3]

Last night Sean and I were out for dinner with friends, and they found it shocking that we are not having a bridal party. The only way I could think to explain why were are not having one is by using the movie 27 Dresses as an example. We feel that everyone that has made an effort to be part of our day, means something special to us, and how were we supposed to pick just a select few to be up there with us? So it would be like 27 dresses, a gigantic line of people on either side of us. 

Edited by MissJen3, 19 March 2015 - 09:21 AM.

[MNsunseeker]

I have also been going back and forth on this.  We are having a symbolic wedding in October with 18 guests.  The thought of having 6 of the 18 standing up just doesn't make sense to me.  I love your 27 dresses explanation!  Might have to use that when my mom is giving me a guilt trip about having my sister be a MOH

[jaspbri0317]

I think it's definitely okay to not have a bridal party. I love the 27 Dresses thing! If I had everyone who I wanted to stand beside up there...there would be maybe 5 people in the audience! Now we're thinking nix the bridal party all together. Too much stress on me and them. Plus it raises their cost so much more when I'm already asking them to spend so much just to be there.

[ashhtayy]

I kind of wish I read this thread before I bought everything for my bridesmaid proposal boxes. I can't imagine not having a bridal party but I do worry that 6 girls + me will be very pricey. All 6 are 100% coming and because of the cost of the trip I've told my FI we have to pay for their dresses, shoes and jewelry. I will likely have to leave hair and makeup up to them because we can't afford that added expense.

I've been in three of my BMs weddings (or will have been come my wedding) and paid for my hair, makeup, and dress each time. My FI thinks it's crazy that as a member of the bridal party I paid for my own things. Because of that he thinks they should pay for these expenses at our wedding. I keep stressing the fact that they are paying to get to Mexico, but he argues it's a vacation for them.

Any thoughts on how I can convince him that this is a non-negotiable?

He's from BC and according to him it's unheard of for the bridal party to pay for anything aside from a generous gift and an amazing bachelor party. Whenever I've been asked to be in one of my girls bridal parties, it's an expense I expect and agree to when I said yes.

[pddcmc]

@KatieMcBride

 

 

We aren't having a full bridal party.. my sister is standing up with me and my FI's best friend that he's known since he was in high school is standing up with him.

 

We didn't want to have to chose between friends and family, this way it made things really simple.

[acw271011]

I agree with @pddcmc I sometimes think it's one of the things that gets lost in the planning of a DW. They're supposed to be simpler than a big wedding in your home place. Having a bridal party of 12 people doesn't strike me as "simple" somehow lol  As much as it's pretty to look at, I think having one person on each side is the best way to go.

[veryvalentine]

@ashhtayy

 

I'm in a similar boat as you.  I initially wanted to buy the bm dresses for my bridal party.  7 girls.  But as I calculate the costs it's going to be about $455 + shipping which is another $150-$200.  I really wanted to but now so close to the wedding I'm seeing so many additional costs and I just don't think it's going to happen. 

 

I did buy my BMs a cute wristlet Kate Spade purse and KS bangle.  I am going to also give them their jewellery and possibly pay for their make up.  Not sure.

 

ah.

[beckys98]

@ashhtayy - I've been a bridesmaid a handful of times, including MOH for my sister's destination wedding, and I've always paid for everything! I actually have not heard anecdotal evidence of bridesmaids NOT paying for their dress, hair, etc., though I imagine it happens. But a destination wedding is different - and if you can afford to help out with the costs I think that is really nice, but not necessary.

 

While we aren't doing a "formal" bridal party, we are still doing some small things to recognize our would-be bridal party. I got the girls this simple bracelet with a turquoise band and gold starfish to wear at the resort that week (our resort logo is a starfish and we're using it on a lot of our stuff). My fiance is working on some t-shirts for both the guys and girls. I also asked the girls if any of them wanted to get their hair/makeup done - completely not necessary or expected - and most of them do! So I'll have breakfast with them on the wedding day and then we'll all be together in the spa just like a real bridal party.

 

My sister (would be MOH) will be my witness, will hold my flowers, etc. etc. And we'll do pictures with them and have them sit in the first 2 rows at the ceremony - so basically we're just not asking them to wear a specific outfit and it makes it easier for everyone

Attached Files

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[diadiamond]

We had asked 10 people to be in our wedding party and only 6 members of our wedding party have confirmed.  I chose not to have a MOH because I didn't want the possibility of my MOH not coming.  Also, I didn't want to value the friendship of one girl over the others.  We have decided to give a cash gift to the members of our wedding party that are coming to the wedding.  We are giving them $100 each.  We realize that we are asking a lot of them to come to Cuba for our wedding so we felt that a cash gift would ease the burden a bit for the cost of the trip.  I'm also letting the members of my bridal party choose their own outfits as long as they are red.  Again, I realize that I'm asking a lot of them to come and I know that a lot of my bridal party is on a budget.  One of my girls got her dress at Forever 21 for $20 and it looks great!   I will also love seeing them express their individuality on my wedding day.  My fiance has a best woman since his best friend is female.  Most of the bridal party is on my fiance's side and I haven't decided if I'll just have it be uneven (my brother and friend on my side and everyone else on my fiance's side or divide them evenly).

[TinkerSofi]

We had asked 10 people to be in our wedding party and only 6 members of our wedding party have confirmed.  I chose not to have a MOH because I didn't want the possibility of my MOH not coming.  Also, I didn't want to value the friendship of one girl over the others.  We have decided to give a cash gift to the members of our wedding party that are coming to the wedding.  We are giving them $100 each.  We realize that we are asking a lot of them to come to Cuba for our wedding so we felt that a cash gift would ease the burden a bit for the cost of the trip.  I'm also letting the members of my bridal party choose their own outfits as long as they are red.  Again, I realize that I'm asking a lot of them to come and I know that a lot of my bridal party is on a budget.  One of my girls got her dress at Forever 21 for $20 and it looks great!   I will also love seeing them express their individuality on my wedding day.  My fiance has a best woman since his best friend is female.  Most of the bridal party is on my fiance's side and I haven't decided if I'll just have it be uneven (my brother and friend on my side and everyone else on my fiance's side or divide them evenly).

that's pretty awesome that they can buy their dresses where they choose as long as it's red. It can totally be done when using a common color that you can actually find in places haha. I chose a pretty rare color so that didn't work