Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
KatieMcBride

Bridal Party

Recommended Posts

Wedding Party?? Yay or nay???

Wondering if I should even bother having a wedding party. Reason being is, I only want my family to stand for me (as it's important to me and I don't want any friends to get mad/jealous/offended if I ask one friend and not another, etc)

So I've asked both my sisters and both my female cousins that I grew up.  Problem ---- only ONE sister is able to confirm 100% she will be able to make it to the wedding.
 
Other sister is trying to have a baby right now, so it all depends on the timing of that. (She can't go if she's 8-9 months pregnant OR has a new born baby)
 
One cousin has 3 kids and her husband's job is very up in the air. They don't have a lot of extra money, but she said she would fly on points or get her family to help her be there.  She's very flaky though so I can't guarantee she'll be there.
 
And other cousin, love her to death, but she's also very flaky and unreliable. Guess I should've thought this through better before asking them to be in my wedding..
 
So the fact that I can only guarantee 1 bridesmaid out of 4 to be there...should I even bother? Should I just plan on having one stand? My fiancé already has 2 grooms men confirmed, and I know for a fact they'll both be there.  Would be kind of weird to have 2 grooms men, and 1 bridesmaid?

Any other people have this problem?? Advice/stories please!
Thanks :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We aren't doing a bridal party for a few reasons. First, we did not want to add extra costs to our guests when they are already coming to Jamaica. Dress, shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup, bouquets, etc. etc. etc. just seems like way too much and way too much for me to coordinate!

 

Also, it just became way too complicated to choose who we would include and would would be left out. He has a close group of friends and like 4 of them are female. So do they stand up for him? Or on my side and I have like 9 girls and he has 4 guys? He wouldn't agree to just siblings, so we're basically just nixing it.

 

But I'm also not having my dad walk me down the aisle (we're walking out together) so I'm having my dad be my witness so he isn't sad. I kind of wish my sister was standing up, but if we did my sister and his brother then that would leave my brother out! See...too complicated :)

 

I'm still having my girls hang out with me on the wedding day while we get ready and everything. They just don't have to wear a specific dress. And I may still find a special role for my sister in the ceremony so she is included. But we also knew no one would be offended!

 

Good luck with your decisions!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks! Glad to hear I'm not the only one considering no bridal party.  It does get difficult especially for DW weddings..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you should do whatever it is you feel the most comfortable with.  Some people will feel left out without a bridal party if they felt like they should have been asked...and some people will feel overwhelmed with the responsibilities of being in a bridal party if you ask them.

 

Follow your vision and at least if nobody else is happy, you will be! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think whichever way you decide to go is fine, but I wouldn't base your decision on there being an uneven number of groomsmen/bridesmaids. Every wedding I've been to recently has had an uneven number, and my FI will have one more groomsman than me, and it's no big deal. So if you decide you want someone to stand up for you, and the only one who pans out is your sister, I say go for it, but if you don't want to have one at all I think that's fine too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with rachelia160. If you want family standing up with you and only a few of them confirmed, I think it will be special regardless of the numbers matching on both sides. If they are important to you, that's all the matters! You could always have the two groomsmen walk your sister down the aisle (one groomsman on either side - I've seen that before and looks really nice). 

 

My fiance has been pretty laid back about the planning of the wedding and has totally let me take the reins and will go along with whatever I choose but the bridal party was one thing he really wanted. He really wanted his boys up there with him (and there are a lot of them). I talked him down from 8 to 6 - lol! Although I think if he had it his way, our whole guest list would be standing -haha! At one point we talked about having all the kids at our wedding parade down the aisle instead of having just one flower girl and one ring bearer. So far we have 8 kids in total. We quickly nixed that idea (talk about chaos) but it was pretty funny picturing it. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm totally on the fence about bridal parties at a destination wedding. I'm not sure I really understand the need for them unless you're getting legally married there and need the actual witnesses for your marriage certificate. I agree that it really does add extra stress and expense to people that might be planning to attend so unless you're willing to pick up the dress/shoes/jewellery/makeup/hair tab for everyone, I wouldn't be inclined to bother. If anyone is feeling left out, just set up a special event to have with just those friends so that they feel included. We needed the witnesses because we actually did get married in Jamaica, but when our guest list fell apart, we had the wedding coordinators sign the marriage license. it was weird because they're strangers but now, it is what it is. We got married. That's what counted the most.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for your input everyone!!

It is pretty important to me to have my sisters stand for me. The one who CAN make it, I definitely want her to stand with me. And having the 2 grooms men walk her down the aisle is a cute idea!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you really want your sisters up there with you (and I can see why!) I would suggest this.... maybe keep the 2 groomsmen as is, if both sisters make it - perfect it's even, if not then do what was suggested above and have the 2 groomsmen walk your sister down the isle. I think that would look lovely!

 

My fiance ran out immediately and asked 3 men to stand up for him so I was left to find 3. I wanted even numbers as I wanted them to walk down the isle together.   I also waited until I knew who was coming to the wedding to ask them as they didn't have any pressure to commit.

 

I helped with the dresses and I got them all their supplies for the wedding day (jewelry, sandals, etc.)  they did pay for their own hair and makeup though at their discretion, one had considered doing her own but then changed her mind.

 

I gave them ample notice of the cost of of these extras though, so they knew if they could commit or not.   While we don't want to place a large burden on people, I think you may be surprised that most don't mind. It's an honor to them and something we may have done for them too, etc.   Of course though, with that said, I made sure to keep things within reason!!!  Aside from their trip, my bridesmaids paid about $250 for a dress and their hair/makeup.

Edited by calgarybride2015
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just kept our bridal party family only because I knew they were coming. In your case I would just play it by ear and for sure have your sister and two groomsmen. I think there's a way to keep costs down for the bridal party... We picked out 75$ outfits and ended up paying for almost everyone's . They are doing their own hair and makeup ( one is doing mine!) we gifted them with some nice things including the flip flops and the jewelry. And I'm glad on my part I only had 4 total so buying them this stuff wasn't too crazy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×