I Think This Is Rude

[TheBHolders]

So, my fiancé's friend is having a destination wedding in May. We just received the save the dates and I know the payments are due by early march. Now we are planning our own DW as well. So, when I came home he told me the save the date arrived and I immediately said, we can't go. We are not supposed to be planning any costly trips due to our upcoming wedding. He responds and says yea he figured I would say that, then proceeds to say we'll what if he just goes. I told him he can't go without me. So I look at the save the date, which is addressed to him and the enclosed card says that the guest list is limited to the person's addressed on the envelope. So now I'm like we'll how dare they only invite my fiance. I think it is incredibly rude, I do know the expenses are high, but my fiance and i are practically married and if I was told my husband/fiance wasn't allowed to go I wouldn't consider going. Yes this is a rant because I think it is incredibly rude. I get not inviting flings and random girlfriends.

 

What do you think?

[kmk2016]

I would wait to see if the invitation itself is addressed to both of you- save the dates really can't be a good indication, and if it IS? That's totally rude and a surprise considering most hotels are based on double occupancy and it's weird that they would expect guests to come alone knowing it will cost them more, and when they are part of a household unit! (Married, engaged or loving together).

 

I would ask your FI to clarify with his friend. If his friend was responsible for addressing "his side's" envelopes... Guys are often clueless and it may have been done in error!

 

Is the DW another city where it's a quick in and out with one night hotel where you both can manage somehow if it's important to your FI? Did you invite this couple to your wedding?

 

Ps- if this was intentional and not an error- TOTALLY RUDE!

Edited August 12, 2014 by kmk2016

[veryvalentine]

Ugh, so rude.

 

I would probably ask for clarification before your feelings get hurt any more.  Ask the questions you are wondering about and deal with this asap between you and your FI.  The last thing you need is to argue about ridiculous people like this before your wedding! 

 

  good luck and stay cool!

[TheBHolders]

@@kmk2016 yes you're right I will ask him to get clarification. Their wedding is in Jamaica and not yet opened so I am not sure on the night policy. But yes they are on our guest list.

 

I do understand some resorts require the bride and groom to pay for meals for the wedding, but that is something we considered when choosing our resort.

 

@veeyvalero I will bring it up to my fiance, unfortunately he will probably make a joke out of it.

[calgarybride2015]

I agree. If you are clearly not invited it's terribly rude. Especially since you invited them. You can't exclude a spouse wow!! Keep us posted.

 

 

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[Lilian84]

Very rude! If it's the case anyway. But if they went through the trouble of writing that on the card it's probably what they want to do. Very rude! 

[calgarybride2015]

I couldn't imagine not letting people bring a guest. Even our single people as we know double occupancy is hundreds cheaper!!!

 

 

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[cankem80]

wow that was rude in this case

[TheBHolders]

That's what I think! Especially for a destination wedding. It's one thing if it's a home wedding, but people are traveling from afar and paying their own way.

[calgarybride2015]

That's what I think! Especially for a destination wedding. It's one thing if it's a home wedding, but people are traveling from afar and paying their own way.

 

The more I think about it - even told fiance about it - how can you invite one and not the other no matter where it is.  If there is an issue don't invite either.   I would be highly offended.