I am having trouble deciding who I want to ask and how to go about this.... It's between 2 women. 1- My friend from high school. I wouldn't say we are "best friends" but she is definitely someone I want in my life for a very long time to come. We are the kind of friends where we could get busy, go 3 months without talking and then one day just pick it up at lunch like no time has passed. 2- My fiance's sister. I personally do not have a sister (if I did, this problem would be a no brainer). The 2 of us have had some problems getting along in the past. I find it weird because our personalities are very similar, we like all the same things and in theory one would say we could be best friends...But we are not. As hard as I try, I swear she is trying just as hard to push me away. Why would I want her to be my MOH then? Well, I feel it is the ultimate gesture of kindness and the just right thing to do. I mean we will be family whether she likes it or not.
I have heard many stories from friends and family who had their best girl friend as their MOH and poof, 5 years down the road, she disappears!! Never to be heard from again. Recently, when we started to nail down our wedding date and the cruise line and such, my best friend of 11 years, bailed. She was distant all of the sudden lately and I knew something was wrong. So I started pushing her to get a straight answer of whether or not our cruise wedding would be something she could afford seeing how she is a single mom of 2 kids. Finally, she told me I was expecting too much of her and that this isn't how a friend should act, we shouldn't be friends anymore and I haven't heard from her since. So, to say the least, the best friend thing is out.
The other issue is I will only be having one attendant. We decided one person each to save of money for not only us but also those who would have been asked. We didn't want to burden people with the additional expense of dresses/suites and so on.
I really think the best thing to do is ask my future sister in law but I have a feeling she will say no. But after all the years I have been with my fiance and the amount of effort I have put into trying to build a relationship with his sister, I would be crushed if she said no.
Has anyone had an issue like this in the past? How did you deal? Did everything turn out OK? Any advise would be appreciated