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Guest List: Invited versus Actually Attended- Calling all ladies whose wedding

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#1 leenawhite

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    Posted 12 November 2012 - 11:24 PM

    Hi Ladies,


    I guess this question will be more for the ladies that are married. Congats by the way! If you are pretty close to your wedding date such as a few weeks you could chime in and just use booked guests instead of attended. 


    My fiancee and I started on our guest list. We are breaking it down between between the more definite people who will attend and the maybe's.


    Scrolling through the forum , it's quite apparent one of the biggest frustrations of a destination wedding is the guest list! Honestly, our maybe list appears to be longer than our definite list.


    I've seen some of the threads where a large amount were invited but only a small number actually came or suddenly your guest list shot up due to guest's inviting others. Also, many of the posts about low RSVP's were during the planning process and not after the wedding and which a few updated that some of the guest's did get their butt in gear about booking at the last minute.


    I was curious to see how much of a difference it was when it came to the number of invites ( invites that you were expecting to come not just a courtesy invite) versus the number that actually attended. 


    • How many guests did you invite and how many attended? 


    • How many last minute guests did you have attend? Let's say, guest's that booked a month before the wedding. 


    • How many guest added a plus one? We already know we are going to have a few of these. But we've decided were okay with a few plus ones. 

    #2 inloveinkorea

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      Posted 13 November 2012 - 06:05 AM

      Well I'm still 4 months away from my wedding date, but this is relevant to me now. 


      I sent out about 60 invitations 2 months ago (mostly to couples or guests +1). However, I've had an e-mail list and have been keeping prospective guests informed about the resort, costs, book-by dates for at least 4 months. 


      My book-by date with the resort is January 8th. On our invitation info cards, and our e-mails, we've been telling people November 15th.. almost 2 months before the actual date to get people in gear and not waiting until the last second. 


      Until a few days ago, I had 4 people booked... my parents and his parents. We sent an e-mail 2 days ago reminding people of the "deadline" which is happening in just a couple of days. We told people that this was our super formal RSVP, and even if they had mentioned yay or nay in the past, please super confirm again. We've had some issues with people not responding to our e-mails in the past. Maybe assuming we knew they were coming or just being undecided.


      Anyway, I got an e-mail from my travel agent today, and within 48 hours or reminding people of the deadline, we've gotten a ton of responses and 16 more confirmed bookings. 


      Out of 60 sent invites: 18 confirmed bookings. 4 more people who are "definites." 5 more who have an 80% chance of coming, and a bunch who still have a couple of days to think things over. 


      I'm expecting about 30 at the wedding. So far, only one guest is bringing a +1. 


      I think we'll have a much better picture of things in 2 or 3 days when we hit that RSVP date and pseudo book-by date. 


      I DEFINITELY recommend releasing an earlier RSVP/booking date!!

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      #3 TATrisha


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      Posted 13 November 2012 - 08:41 AM

      I invited everyone to my destination wedding that I would have normally invited to a regular wedding.  You never know who would actually go until you ask them.

      So I believe I sent out close to 100 invitations. 


      In the end, I had 35 people attend my wedding.  Two people were "plus ones" and four people decided within the last few weeks before the trip that they were able to make it.


      I was very surprised at the guests that I thought FOR SURE would be there, versus the ones that actually came.  But the ones who were there, were perfect and so happy to be celebrating with us.


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      #4 Sunshinybride

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        Posted 17 December 2012 - 04:52 PM

        We invited 54 and had 24 book. I am more than happy with a smaller wedding considering I wanted to elope!

        #5 Mufin1785

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          Posted 18 December 2012 - 06:41 AM

          We sent out 100 invites and have 27 people booked.  But our invites we sent to a lot of people we knew would not be able to come so no one would get their feelings hurt.  Originally we thought we would have 40 people, but I am happy with 27.  Our book by date with our travel agent was December 5th.  So I think that is a final guest count.   

          #6 shan0487

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          • LocationSt Louis, MO

          Posted 18 December 2012 - 07:27 AM

          Our wedding was November 23rd.  We sent out save the dates at the end of January (we got engaged on Christmas day 2011).  We had a deposit due date of Feb 25th with our travel agent- so that really made people kick it into gear- which I really liked because I didn't have to constantly annoy people about putting down their deposit- they had 1 month to decide and put down their deposit (we always knew we were having a destination wedding- so so did our family and friends, it was just a matter of when! So by January we had decided either August or Nov and confimed with the resort at the beginning of Feb and Nov 23rd it was!


          We invited about 100 people and 40 people attended our wedding- it waa a perfect amount of people! :)


          We had my husband's aunt and uncle book later then the rest of the guests- I think they booked in Sept on their own (not with our TA). 


          We had no plus one's- we had either invited that person's significant other or they were single and wanted to stay single in Mexico to have fun and because we had so many friends go- they knew they would have fun going stag. 

          #7 Marymack

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            Posted 23 December 2012 - 03:24 PM

            This is a problem everyone seems to have.Any suggestions for getting people to book sooner than later,as alot depends on this count.

            #8 Maybeachbride

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              Posted 01 January 2013 - 12:44 PM


              #9 LoriGran

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              Posted 01 January 2013 - 01:23 PM

              So glad to have found this thread! I'm guilty of having more maybes than definites. While I still have a long time to go before I send out invitations this is definitely at the top of my head. NOW here is a question, I have been invited to regular weddings where the invite already comes with my name and +1 assuming my FI will be attending. Is this good wedding etiquette? I don't think I would like the fact of people bringing along 3-4 other people who are not their kids or something.

              #10 shan0487

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              • LocationSt Louis, MO

              Posted 02 January 2013 - 06:47 AM

              I added and guest for every one of our single friends.  If our friend was currently dating someone- I addressed the invite to both of them.  Turned out that not one of our single friends brought a guest as everyone that went were all friends and all get along but if someone who really wanted to come needed a roommate- it's a kind gesture to allow them to bring someone if they do not feel comfortable coming alone or if they have no other rooming options as NO ONE wants to room alone- it costs more than two people in one room!

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