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Are some of your friends and family avoiding you since you mentioned a DW?

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And, if they can't afford to go for a week, they can always go for 2 or 3 nights which won't cost even a grand per person.  Again, if they really want to make it happen, they will...those who don't.....oh well.

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100% true!

 

Originally Posted by monicak View Post

And, if they can't afford to go for a week, they can always go for 2 or 3 nights which won't cost even a grand per person.  Again, if they really want to make it happen, they will...those who don't.....oh well.



 

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:( all of your stories are very sad. I completely agree that once you start planning a wedding you see who's really there for you whether its family or friends. It's like a wedding beast emerges from everyone to do whatever it takes to break you down. My fiance and I went into a destination wedding wanting only our parents and siblings there and whoever else can come is great but if not at least our immediate family is there. So far it seems like everyone is up to going but we'll see when things get closer.

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I have a bunch of teacher friends and so does my Mom, so we decided that the wedding date should be around their summer break. This was to make sure that people would at least be available to go.

 

My one friend is a teacher and keeps saying that she really really wants to go...mmmk. I have offered to pay for her hotel and accomedations for 5 days, and she (I believe) is still on the fence about going. Back in January she was like, "oooh I need to make sure we don't have any snow days that push back the last day of school". That was fine with me, but we are at the end of March, and we have had 70-80 degree weather for the last two weeks. I would like to think that winter is officially over...hello spring! I still havent heard if she is coming yet.

 

I told her in Feb that the prices of airfare keep going up (about $200 in the last couple of weeks), and she knows the deal. I feel like she is going to wait until the last day to RSVP (April 7th) and then tell me that the airfare is just too expensive and won't be able to make it.

 

At that point I am going to be pissed. This has been the warmest winter in history for the northeast and mid-atlantic. Saying that the airfare is just "too expensive" now is really not an excuse.

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Thank God for this forum! It helped me realize that I'm not alone in all of this, and that I'm not the only one being "ignored" by those I've invited.  So true about realizing who your true friends are- I used to think that it was only in bad times that people show their true colours, but I guess I know now that weddings do it too BangHead.gif

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wow it's nice to realise you are not alone in this..... we had all of my FI's groomsman say YES right away but then when it came time to book they started avoiding him completely!! one told us he couldnt go because his FI just lost a job (she has like 3) and he couldnt afford to pay for her too which was fine. but a week later she was working at another place but nope they arent coming. then my FI's other groomsman is totally avoiding us! wont answer texts, calls, emails, FB msgs, or Xbox msgs!!! my question is that if you are unsure if you can come why say YES right away to being a groomsman. i know my FI is upset, really upset, but is trying to hide his disappointment in his friends. His aunt and uncle did the same thing to him too!! they have been buggin and joking about us getting married for years!!!! we have always told them we are doing destination and told them to start saving a couple years ago to which they said they wouldnt miss this for the world! well what do you think happened.....they arent coming cause they cant afford it! wth! its crazy how unconsiderate people can be!!!

 

lying to us and telling us you want to come and are coming but having no intention to come is just stupid! dont people realise being upfront and honest is all we want. everyone who plans a destination wedding understands some ppl just wont be able to come and we are prepared for that. it is when they keep telling us they are comign or the 'want' to come and then avoid us or keep deferring the questions is when we get upset!

 

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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Really personalities come out when there are good times as well as bad times. When anything outside of the everyday norm happen. You have the people that avoid talking to you because they can't afford it. Then people avoiding you because they are jealous. I mean there are a million reasons. So at the end of the day all that matters is you and your FI.

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That is one of the things that I do not get. When my FI and I first started talking about doing a Destination wedding last year...so many peopel were all about it. They were so excited, so happy, and all of these people couldnt wait to go. Then the information is out and people avoid you. Why not just tell me that you cannot go? Don't tell me "this is such a great idea, I wouldve done it, I cannot wait to go," and then do a 180 and ignore us. Honestly some people cannot go, I get that, I understand it, and I have no hard feelings to most. But when very close friends and family start turning on you...it hurts. And like everyone has said so far...it is nice to not feel alone in this.

 

 

I do think this though...after our wedding, after the honeymoon, we will come back from the most amazing vacation in our lives and say..."why did I even care? Eff the people that were rude and ignored us". At least I hope...LOL!

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Krysta lee ann View Post

wow it's nice to realise you are not alone in this..... we had all of my FI's groomsman say YES right away but then when it came time to book they started avoiding him completely!! one told us he couldnt go because his FI just lost a job (she has like 3) and he couldnt afford to pay for her too which was fine. but a week later she was working at another place but nope they arent coming. then my FI's other groomsman is totally avoiding us! wont answer texts, calls, emails, FB msgs, or Xbox msgs!!! my question is that if you are unsure if you can come why say YES right away to being a groomsman. i know my FI is upset, really upset, but is trying to hide his disappointment in his friends. His aunt and uncle did the same thing to him too!! they have been buggin and joking about us getting married for years!!!! we have always told them we are doing destination and told them to start saving a couple years ago to which they said they wouldnt miss this for the world! well what do you think happened.....they arent coming cause they cant afford it! wth! its crazy how unconsiderate people can be!!!

 

lying to us and telling us you want to come and are coming but having no intention to come is just stupid! dont people realise being upfront and honest is all we want. everyone who plans a destination wedding understands some ppl just wont be able to come and we are prepared for that. it is when they keep telling us they are comign or the 'want' to come and then avoid us or keep deferring the questions is when we get upset!

 

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr



 

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As people have said, once you get to your resort...none of this crap will matter.

 

My fiance is totally hiding his pain. From his "side" he has a grand total of 4 people coming. I have around 20+. I pray everyday that some of his friends and family can make it. I want him to be happy with this whole process, but I think it is mostly stressing him out.

 

His very very good friend from college and beyond has not RSVP'd yet and the end date is this Saturday the 7th. My fiance was this guy's best man in his wedding, and his wife told me back in February that of course they would be there....without me even asking about it. She even inquired if I thought his other (immature) buddies would be coming, and assured me that they would all be there. Honestly, I don't think we have heard from them since they got the invitations. The hotels are almost sold out for that weekend, and the price of airfare has doubled in the last two months (well, almost).

 

My fiance doesn't want to "pressure" his friends by asking them about the wedding (I get that), but I think hes actually more scared of their response.

 

Waiting till the last minute to RSVP is super annoying. I have a feeling that I won't be getting all of my RSVP cards back before the deadline. 

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