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Hush hush legal ceremony

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88 replies to this topic

#41 bride81

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  • 216 posts

    Posted 28 March 2012 - 09:54 AM

    Just look at it as getting a license to get married.  Its just a piece of paper that nobody sees.  Just don't exchange rings or kisses when you go to the courthouse.  I would just tell your friends and family on a need to know basis.  If they ask just tell them- No big deal.  When you walk down the aisle that is your special day!!

    Originally Posted by Krs398 

    girls I am freaking out and rethinking everything again! My fiance wants to get legally married a few days before we leave and i agreed. but now i cant get rid of the feeling that its my real date of marriage! i want to totally forget the civil ceremony here and wipe it from everyone's mind, but it's still in MY mind! And I can't lie to people, so i'm being honest when they ask me what we're doing. I'm thinking I need to come out and tell my bridesmaids before the fact. They are my best friends and i hate lying. I just hate having to get married before hand but I know I have no choice (fiance doesn't want to do the blood tests).  Is/was anyone in the same boat and how did you overcome these feelings? 


    #42 Oct 2012 Bride

    Oct 2012 Bride
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      Posted 28 March 2012 - 10:14 AM

      Exactly. we are not exchanging rings, going out to eat or anything. Don't want to make it anything bigger than doing paperwork.

      #43 yunric

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        Posted 16 April 2012 - 12:04 PM

        We have been to 6 DW.  Two of them were legal in the islands, and the rest were legally married in Canada before going.  


        Now that it is our turn- we are absolutely getting it done legally here.  The wedding couple were a whirlwind prior to the wedding because of blood tests and meetings etc..  The weddings that were legally done in Canada first, enjoyed time on the beach, margaritas in hand with friends and family.


        We have an officiant coming to our house, we will sign papers with 2 witnesses.  No kiss, no ring, no fanfare.  That said- the date is significant- it will be 4 years to the day we met.


        Our wedding day (2mos later) will be considered as the day we speak our vows in Playa- then the kiss and the ring and the fanfare!

        #44 elissae

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        • Wedding Date:April 2, 2013
        • Wedding Location:Riu Palace Riviera Maya
        • LocationClifton Park, NY

        Posted 22 May 2012 - 04:21 PM



        When I last posted here, we were on the fence.  We have now booked our wedding for April 2, 2013 at Riu Palace Riviera Maya in Playa del Carmen.  We have decided to have the legal/civil ceremony there.  We will arrive Wed.,3/27/12 so we have ample time to work through the "red tape."  Luckily 4 of our guests are also coming the same day so they will be our legally required witnesses.  It all "seems" to be coming together.  Getting there sooner willalso allow me time to get my OOT bags together and delivered.


        I just need to confirm exactly what documentation we need in regard to my FI's Divorce Decree.  It is required I bring the original decree with us, along with a copy translated into Spanish and apostilled.  This should be fun!



        Originally Posted by elissae 

        A friend suggested the same thing to my FI & I.  Get legally married before here in NYS before going to Mexico & then just have the spiritual ceremony in Mexico instead of the civil one.....no one the wiser.  


        At first I thought no, we cannot do that.  Although as I research the civil ceremony & see all the formalities, i.e., translation of pertinent docs to Spanish, have them notarized, the couple & 4 witnesses needing to be in Mexico 3 business days prior to wedding date for blood tests, licences etc., the costs add up.  So I was almost "swayed" to do this.  Although my FI (his 2nd marriage, my 1st) wants to make it official in Mexico.  He wants the anticipation/excitement of the commitment.  


        It's still early - the jury is out - all depends when we confirm our date.  We want to schedule during the 2013 Easter/School break...anxiously waiting on the school board to approve. Once we have that, we then have to plan not only the wedding date, but the travel dates around those required 3 business days.








        I see you day is coming up.  Are you all set with your required docs, etc?

        Originally Posted by echraide 

        I completely understand your stress. FI and I have gone over the same decision over and over. Regardless of how illogical it is, some people would feel like a DW isn't "worth it" if it isn't legal. We decided to just go with the headache of doing it in mexico, but if I was doing it locally first and formally in Mexico, I would do it the same way you are. Noone will know, it'll be fine =)

        Blissfully married since April 2, 2013.

        #45 2ndtimesacharm

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          Posted 23 May 2012 - 05:37 AM

          For those of you nervous about telling people you're getting officially married before you go to to your DW or don't want to take anything from THE wedding, have you thought about doing the legal junk AFTER you get home?  That's what we're doing.  I absolutely do not want to tell our family we're not getting officially married down there as they will think it's a waste to go if it's not "official."  However, the complications of a real Mexican wedding are too daunting for me.  I'd have to have my divorce decree translated into Spanish (and this has to be officially sealed) plus I have no idea how NY will be about accepting the Mexican documents as proof of marriage so we may have to get re-married in NY anyway!  We're doing all the paperwork before the wedding (today, in fact!) and then after we return from Mexico we'll head to the courthouse to make it official.  Our anniversary though will be our wedding date in Mexico.

          Azul Sensatori ~ June 26, 2012

          #46 Sharon99

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          • 1,301 posts

            Posted 23 May 2012 - 08:33 AM

            We also got legally married the day after we got home from Mexico. I wanted to do it before we left but ran out of time. I am actually glad we did it after because it brought back all the emotions and feeling we had in Mexico and seemed to extend our trip if that makes sense!

            I did however tell only the people that had asked about it and how it all worked with getting married in Mexico. No one cared or took it that the wedding day didnt mean anything. Out of 25 people we only had 6 to even ask us so it was all good! :)

            #47 maridr2012

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              Posted 30 June 2012 - 04:57 AM

              We are also having a very hush legal ceremony before we leave for our DW in DR. All the requirements to do it over there were just too confusing, costly, etc. I think we'll get married where my parents live in CT a week or 2 before our trip. Go down to City Hall, wearing jeans nothing fancy at all just the 2 of us, no rings etc. just the paperwork and to make it official. If we get married in NY where he's from I think his family will want to make a mini-production because several aren't able to make it to the DW. we aren't even telling our parents about our legal ceremony here. Then when we have our ceremony in DR it'll be officiated by a minister, it'll be "symbolic" but who can tell the difference? ; )

              #48 wallabymeisje

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                Posted 11 August 2012 - 08:52 AM

                i think having a legal cermony first is a good idea it allows you to have less stress and it cuts down the cost a win win for me

                #49 yunric

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                • 93 posts

                  Posted 13 August 2012 - 10:17 AM



                  we got legal about 10 days ago now and are so happy we did it!  


                  That said- it has in no way diminished my excitement for the 'big' day in Mexico!  I anyone wants the information on a great officiant that comes to your house (!!)  let me know!


                  Rev. Mandi Neiser came to our house and we did a quietly meaningful consenting of marriage in our backyard.  We live in Toronto and she does the golden horseshoe, so anything Etobicoke to Niagara- she is based in Stoney Creek.  PM me and I'd be happy to give you her info.

                  #50 chantal09

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                  • 192 posts

                    Posted 13 August 2012 - 06:20 PM

                    I have just finished looking into how to go about having a legal wedding here in Alberta, and surprisingly it is quite easy. Only our parents will witness, but I love the idea of a special date. So cute, I think that helped me make my decision. Thanks Brides :)

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