Calling All StepMoms & SM2B's :)

[Ty Roane]

This forum is great! I am the one with the child.  I have a 4 year old son and FI has none.  He actually never imagined having children or being a parent.  I am the 1st person he dated with a child.  He met my son shortly after he turned 3 and it was literally , love at first sight.  My son immediately went to him and let FI pick him up and knew exactly who he was.  In the 15 months, FI has become a 2nd father to my son, so much so that my son listens to FI at times over me.  My son's father is coming around to the idea of FI being around and he respects our relationship. We aren't living together yet, which is the hardest part on my son.  He misses him so much.  He asks for him everyday! This is one burden that has been lifted for me.  I was concerned with both of their responses to each other.  FI still has reservations, but I have noticed the change in him. He talks about the plan for all 3 of us and our future.  We have met FI's family and they have accepted us, especially my son.  It is exciting and new.  With our relationship, my son has 24 aunts & uncles; FI is one of 12, (blended family) and I am one of 14 (blended families on both sides). Truly blessed to have this experience be a pleasant one.

[mikeiram]

I am 32 with no kids. My FI is 28 with a son who is 4. I grew up with two stepmothers as a child and another one as an adult. The last thing I wanted was to marry a man with a kid. I realize God knows what is best for you. I am able to use what I went through as a child to be a better stepmother to him. It is important to us to make sure he is a part of the wedding. He has decided that the two of us will have our first dance to Gangam Style.

[Sunshinybride]

I remember at one time when I was young and knew "everything" I actually turned down dating a guy because he had a child. If I had made that same choice this time, I would not have met the man of my dreams, the man I will marry. On my wedding day not only will I become a wife, I will also become a stepmom to an eight year old boy. I first met Owen when he was 5. It wasn't always easy at first and I never wanted to force him into liking me. We've been through the phases were he wanted mommy and daddy to be married, despite the fact that they were not together shortly after he was born and mommy has moved on. Through the years I have learned to love this little boy and can't wait to be his stepmom!

[NEandLovingIt]

Hi all, I can totally relate and so happy I found this forum! My FI and I are planning to be married this summer; however his son's BM if constantly fighting a schedule that is to be set. She's been trying to minimize time away from his father (my FI) the moment he left her (bc she cheated the whole marriage). We love his son SO much and want him to be part of our special day. He even wants to...he loves being with us. How does one plan for a wedding when the schedule is so unpredictable?!? Excited yet frustrated...I just wish the BM focused on their son rather then hatred for my FI.

[snorfle1]

What a great forum!  I have a daughter- 18 and my FI has a son-18 and daughter- 16. We met when his kids were 9 & 7 . I'd be lying if I said it has been easy.  Even though I have a child we all have different parenting techniques.  We persevered through the ups and downs and I already consider them my step kids.  This will just be a formality when we say our vows.  I have asked my daughter and his daughter to be my bridesmaids.  I am thrilled that the kids want to share in our joy!

[big3n09]

Originally Posted by mikeiram 

 

I am 32 with no kids. My FI is 28 with a son who is 4. I grew up with two stepmothers as a child and another one as an adult. The last thing I wanted was to marry a man with a kid. I realize God knows what is best for you. I am able to use what I went through as a child to be a better stepmother to him. It is important to us to make sure he is a part of the wedding. He has decided that the two of us will have our first dance to Gangam Style.

I totally agree I always avoided relationships with guys with kids but low and behold my husband got in the door lol

[JanetandDan2014]

Love this thread.  I am a future Smom of a "bonus child" 9 year old girl. No kiddos of my own. 

[Rainmaker]

@@JanetandDan2014 - me too! I don't have kids of my own but I'll be getting 2! I've read lots of people who have their own kids then marrying someone else with/without kids, but not many like us who don't have children.

[JanetandDan2014]

@@Rainmaker I haven't seen many either. thanks for letting me know. Congrats to you on your 2 new little ones

[Rainmaker]

Thanks Janet!