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Calling All StepMoms & SM2B's :)


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#1 ACDCDCAC

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Posted 04 February 2011 - 06:00 PM

I just noticed this forum! I'll post first :) I'm a Smom! My kids are Tre-15, and Ali- 12. I've had them since they were 9 and 6 (haha, sounds funny, but you ladies know what I mean!) I never really thought about having/wanting kids, and had never dated anyone with kids before my Husband. It's been challenging to learn the ropes of helping to raise someone else's children at times, but having these 2 in my life has been awesome :) Who's next?

#2 big3n09

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    Posted 04 February 2011 - 07:48 PM

    Aaaawwww how cute! My friend was called SMAW for a while, I guess I fall in this category.  I can identify with having no children and not sure if I want my own.  I will be gaining 4 kids and ready for the challenge! 


    4/1/11 in St. Kitts at the Marriott I married my best-friend!!!

    #3 Ellabaja1983

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      Posted 06 February 2011 - 12:20 PM

      What a great idea! 

       

      I too have no children of my own, FI has two however.  They are 15 and 12, I've been with them since they were 12 & 9.  It's certainly been an adjustment for me, since I am only 27....  For anyone trying to figure out how this works, yes, FI is older than me, but 16 years.  I would like to have my own children at some point (sooner rather than later). 

       

      I think one of the hardest things for me is that I don't have a support group (of friends), which would be nice to have.  My friends either have no children or are just starting their families.  So, I love the idea of this thread!  For the most part things are really good (otherwise we probably wouldn't be getting married in a couple of months, huh?!), but there are days where I'd love to have someone to lean on!

       

      For anyone who likes to read, the novel, "The Other Mothers' Club" is a great read.  It's fiction, but wonderful!  It's by an author out of London, England - Samantha Baker.


      Married the love of my life in April!!

      #4 CBREWSTER

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        Posted 06 February 2011 - 02:51 PM

        I also have no children of my own, but my FI has a daughter who is 17.  My FI is 41 and I am 28. So this forum can be of a lot of help.



        #5 ACDCDCAC

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        Posted 06 February 2011 - 05:13 PM

        Welcome to the Club, Ladies! :) Thanks for the book recommendation, sounds great. I'm 34, so is The Hubs (yup he and ex were late-teen parents), that's how our math works out! It's tough sometimes being so close in age to the kids, but we do also have a lot of fun with them. Sometimes it can be handy, like come on guys, it wasnt that long ago we were your age! But sometimes it stinks because it's hard imagining my kid is now in high school, when I hardly feel like a "grown up" myself! ;)

        #6 ablj209

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          Posted 07 February 2011 - 11:14 AM

          I'm in this club too! I am 33 with no children.  FI is 32 with 2 kids.  A boy (14) and a girl (10).  I've been with them since they were 9 and 5.  FI has custody of them so they live with us and visit their mother every other weekend.  We have no plans to add to the family.  I think 4 is a perfect size.



          #7 big3n09

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            Posted 07 February 2011 - 11:24 AM

            Ok so I top you all FI has 4 kids 17, 15, 13, and 6.  Thank God they all have the same mother so it's only one woman I have to deal with.  When we met the youngest was on  the way so I've been in their lives for 7 years now and to be honest the hard part is over cause 2 are almost grown now.  I'm still undecided if I want my own kids but maybe we will have one just for our union.  I'm 32 so it will be sooner than later for me as well, FI is 37, late teen parent too.  I have had to do some growing up as well as him and the kids but as I stated the hard part is over.  In my growing up I have learned to deal with things in a better manner so some things that use to bother me don't anymore or just aren't important.  I have a few friends who are step-moms so that helps some too, I'm all ears for anyone needing to vent cause having some support is very helpful.


            4/1/11 in St. Kitts at the Marriott I married my best-friend!!!

            #8 CBREWSTER

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              Posted 07 February 2011 - 04:55 PM

              I am loving this forum already. It's nice to know that I can have someone to talk to that can relate. I forgot to mention that my FI daughter lives in house with us. But will be going off to college this Fall  ! I am very undecided if I want to have any or not. After helping raise a teenager for the last 4 years makes me really think hard.



              #9 Ellabaja1983

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                Posted 07 February 2011 - 05:19 PM

                This is becoming more and more of my problem the more I think about it...  It's hard because the only time I don't play that "mother" role is Monday and Tuesday for the most part.  There are weeks where I still have to pick up the slack for the mother if FI cannot for whatever reason.  Part of me feels like instead of having an infant, I just adopted older children, you know? 
                 

                Originally Posted by CBREWSTER 

                I am loving this forum already. It's nice to know that I can have someone to talk to that can relate. I forgot to mention that my FI daughter lives in house with us. But will be going off to college this Fall  ! I am very undecided if I want to have any or not. After helping raise a teenager for the last 4 years makes me really think hard.




                Married the love of my life in April!!

                #10 coconoir1908

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                  Posted 07 February 2011 - 05:31 PM

                  Hi Ladies,

                   

                  Well I am a single mom of a lovely 10 year old boy and I am gaining a 18 year old.  FI is 39 and I am 36 so the age difference is pretty much null and void.  The hard part, for my FI is that my son is quite at times.  Until he came into his life a year ago, my son has been going through his "why isn't my dad around etc.." so he is very cautious with FI... they both have a ball together and have formed their own bond, but I know my son somewhere in his little scientist mind is waiting for the big day to say okay... now this is real I can let go. 

                   

                  As far as my soon to be step-daughter, we have our days for US a the guys do theirs.  It's nice because she can tell me exactly  how she feels from "Ms. Chanel you are the one for my dad" to I'm not really sure how I feel about somebody else calling my dad, dad."  So, we take it easy and always leave the door open for questions.

                   

                  The one thing that I told all of them FI, The Mom, daughter and my son is that I don't believe in calling anyone STEP.. so when I introduce you, you will be my daughter. And that's not to take away from anyone but that's just me.  I will always treat you, as if you are my own daughter because I do not believe in separation. His family is really supportive as well so its great.

                   

                  Wow this thread it pretty cool as I realized that I typed a paragraph ;-)






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