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Willow188

Bridal Shower - Yes or No?

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I really didnt want to have a wedding shower because I thought people would think I was being greedy. I figured I already asked them to pay to come tomy wedding, why should I ask for extra presents. My mom insisted that she was throwing me a shower, just happened this last weekend and I am so happy about it. I am glad she made me do it and nobody had any resntment. I feel like I am getting the full wedding treatment and I am loving it. So happy about it!

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I'm undecided about the shower.....if one is organized, I'll go along with it but I'm not going out of my way to have one. I'm going to organize a "ladies lunch" for all the females that attend the DW, and I figure that will be shower-like. I feel funny about people giving gifts when they are spending so much to travel.

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Like the other ladies said.. if they are offended, they just won't come. I'm personally not having one (I have all I need :). But if my maid of honour wants to throw one... all the power to her.  It's not YOU doing the shower, it's your friends/family. So don't worry - go ahead with it.

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Is there a way to make the shower more like a get together with optional gifts? I know my family would love to throw something but we are not comfortable opening gifts in front of people and would rather spend time with people than put on a show of the gifts. I guess you can just speak with whoever is hosting it and tell them what you are comfortable with. i would let them know who you would want there and then let them handle how to give out your registry info. That way people can bring gift or not but at least you are celebrating together.

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I am definitely having shower, co-organized by my MOH and my Mom and I am really happy about it. I'm not doing it for gifts although I imagine there will be some. Even though I'm having a kind of untraditional wedding by having a DW, I really wanted the traditional bridal experience of having a shower (the games, the food, the getting together, etc.). And some of the guests at my shower aren't coming to the wedding so this will be the only part of my wedding they'll have as we're not doing an AHR. Also, I'm an only child so my Mom wanted a shower as much as I did. Also, I don't live in the same city as most of my family and friends so I'm paying to fly home often for others weddings, plus giving them a shower gift, so really, my wedding is not that different. If you want a shower, HAVE ONE. Anyone who has an issue with it, doesn't need to come.

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I'm from a small town, so most likely one of our families will have a thing for us (and likely our mom's friends who aren't being invited).  Since I don't live there, I won't have to plan anything, just show up and smile! I think if your family/MoH are planning it, you won't look bad if the people weren't invited to both - plus like above said - there are different rules for a destination wedding I think.

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Originally Posted by hamme View Post

Is there a way to make the shower more like a get together with optional gifts? I know my family would love to throw something but we are not comfortable opening gifts in front of people and would rather spend time with people than put on a show of the gifts. I guess you can just speak with whoever is hosting it and tell them what you are comfortable with. i would let them know who you would want there and then let them handle how to give out your registry info. That way people can bring gift or not but at least you are celebrating together.



We are thinking of doing a couples shower with an activity so the focus is not on gifts.  We are talking about a golf scrammble or a bowling tournament.   Something fun to get people together without a focus on gifts.

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i think that i am going to invite everyone to the wedding and just hope that some wont come. and anyways i figure the more the better. i am also planning on having an AHR after the DW and this way everyone is included and i wont feel bad about inviting anyone or not inviting anyone to the shower.

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I don't see anything wrong with having a bridal shower.  A lot of people will want to be able to share the joy of your wedding with you even if they aren't invited to the wedding itself.  Also, this is usually something that is thrown for you by your MOH and MOB so let them do the planning, sit back and enjoy!

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Its stressful even thinking about it! 

 

I know personally I have been a bridesmaid probably 8-10 times, but now it's my turn and I don't want a shower!  Not sure how to convey that to my family.

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