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Bridal Shower Etiquette question

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#1 Lizzdee

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    Posted 21 October 2010 - 04:13 PM

    So I am a bridesmaid for the first time ever in my friends upcoming wedding (not destination). I got an email today from the MOH saying she was going to pick up thank you cards so the guests at the shower could adress them themselves!! I have never heard of such a thing! Is this something that is going on that i am totally unaware of?  I feel that the bride should be aware of this because it will look negatively upon her in the long run. I mean how long does it take to write out an address anyway?


    Did you guys have this done for you at your shower, how do you and your guest react? A thank you goes a long way, and having a guest do have the work is just not for me i guess. Am i out of the loop big time here or what ladies?

    #2 DanniS

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      Posted 21 October 2010 - 06:24 PM

      I think the idea is tacky!! You should speak to the bride.  And like you said how long does it really take to write out an address on an envelope???

      #3 Lindslou

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        Posted 21 October 2010 - 07:28 PM

        I agree that for the short amount of time it took to write out the thank you cards and address them it really isn't too time consuming.  I just finished my shower thank you's and I really enjoyed looking through everything again.  I also have everyone's address saved on my computer from when we mailed out our invites. 

        Looking to share a photographer the middle of Feb 2011 in Holguin Cuba


        #4 richarsd

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          Posted 25 October 2010 - 04:49 AM

          Yuck, I agree with the poster above who said it's tacky. I think you should begin by voicing your objections to the MOH and try and leave the bride out of this if you can. If the MOH does not respect your views, perhaps you can get the other bidesmaids on board. If these options don't work, then you should mention this to the bride as you're right  - it will reflect poorly on her, unfortunately.

          #5 Aumuller

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            Posted 25 October 2010 - 07:35 AM

            I have definitely seen this at showers before. I have to admit its not my favorite idea but I have seen it done before.

            #6 adcarter41

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              Posted 25 October 2010 - 07:40 AM

              I've seen this done before. I don't think it is at all unusual. My FMIL actually had guests do this at our baby shower and at the time I did think it was a little tacky but the guests didn't really seem to mind and when it came time to do the thank yous I have to say it was kind of nice. But if it is something you are not comfortable with just tell her that you would rather write them yourself.

              #7 clgriffi7

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                Posted 25 October 2010 - 08:23 AM

                I too think it sounds a bit tacky.  I wouldn't mind providing my address, but it seems a bit lazy to make me write it on my own invite.  If the bridal shower invites were mailed out, then the bride will already have addresses for everyone.  If the invite was done by email/evite, I think you could easily put out a little Guest Book notebook and ask everyone to sign with their address.  At that point I think you can say that it is to make sure thank you cards are sent out.  Just my opinion.

                #8 horegan

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                  Posted 25 October 2010 - 03:42 PM


                  #9 Thomasjsgirl

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                    Posted 25 October 2010 - 04:08 PM

                    The organizers of my stagette did something similar, since everyone was invited via email and telephone. They created little address slips with a spot for each guest's name and address and had the guests fill those out. So, they weren't addressing their own thank-you cards, but still providing their info nonetheless. Then, my mother-in-law threw a small surprise shower for me and did the envelope thing. It was the first time I had ever seen that, but no one seemed to mind or care! I guess it should bear mentioning to the B2B and if she is uncomfortable with it, then ultimately the decision to veto it should be hers.

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                    #10 Lizzdee

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                    • 396 posts

                      Posted 26 October 2010 - 02:59 AM


                      I e-mailed the MAID OF HORROR asking if the bride knew about said if i was the bride i would want to know about it this. Well, got a response were she talked to me like i was a 5 year old saying they were just going to have the guests fill out the envelope (duh) and not actually write out thier own thank you (duh). I still feel this is really tacky, but being that i am the only bridesmaid who doesnt live in the same town as them (they all live in NJ where we grew up and im 65 miles away in Philly, apparently my opinion doesnt matter.


                      The whole shower is tacky, black and white balloons on tables (what is it an over the hill party now?) Im a floral designer who gets flowers at costs and i offered to do the centerpieces and pay for them and i was shot down. I'm over it. I tried. Im just gonna keep my mouth shut and come March put on my awful spaggeti strapp dress (freezing), and walk down the aisle for the bride and thats it. Oh, and i will totally show of my awesome engagement ring the whole time since they are all talking about it anyway!


                      Ok...im done being venting and being spiteful now.....lol.

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