39 replies to this topic

[LMango]

Hi there,

 

I'm scared to post, because I'm scared everybody is going to tell me there's nothing I can to do stop people from bringing their kids to my wedding.

 

I'm recently engaged, and my FI's family has a lot of kids. Their own, grandchildren, adopted, and foster kids with "problems." I really can't stand kids. It doesn't matter why, it doesn't matter if I want kids of my own someday, it just matters that I'm having a VERY small, intimate wedding, and I do not want kids there. We want to have our wedding on a small island, where they do not have things like an extra house for kids to run around in. How do I ask them not to bring their kids for this one night??

 

My dislike of kids is strong enough that if I can't arrange this as I would like, I will simply have a wedding with just our parents, my FI, and myself.

[MysTea]

Did you book at an Adult only resort?

[rizalr731]

You shouldn't be scared to post.  That is your opinion and it is YOUR wedding.  I did not want kids at my wedding either so I put it on my Save The Date.  I believe that there are weddings that are kid friendly and that there are weddings that are simply not.  Mine was a NOT.  I did not get influenced about how people felt - If they were offended they could simply choose not to attend.  Either way it is entirely up to you!

[MDLady]

I've seen many brides talk about this issue so don't be scared.  There are so many wise and kind women on this website that will give you their best opinion on every issue.

 

I gotta say that prepare to have people offended or upset because usually weddings are family affairs which means that most people expect to bring their whole family.  Many people will also not be comfortable leaving their kids home or at the resort with someone while they go to the wedding, unless they bring an nanny, which is quite expensive.  That's a really tough problem to solve because few parents can travel abroad, even for a few days, while leaving their kids at home.  So just be prepared that most people with children will be likely to back out unfortunately.

 

Having your wedding at an adult-only resort might help settle things since then you are not the bad guy, the resort is bad for being adult-only   Maybe someone else has more helpful ideas.

[Barbaracopeland]

Don't be scared to post that!! I don't want kids at my wedding either, and I love kids! For mine it was simply budget. I'd have to pay the same amount per head regardless of their age and I didn't want that. Luckily for me I only had 1 couple who were debating on bringing their kids (3 of them!) so I just pointed out that it would be extra rooms they'd have to pay for plus 3 extra plane tickets and wouldn't it be nice to have a small vacation with just the two of you etc.. and that solved that. But- had that not worked, I would have put it on the invite as "Adults Only" without blinking an eye. 

 

I agree with MysTea that if you booked your wedding at an adults only resort, that would be the end of it. 

[LMango]

Holy smokes, thank you guys for being so understanding and supportive!! I am absolutely humbled by your kindness.

 

Well, everyone here is going somewhere far away and tropical! I'm just going to an island that is an hour by ferry from the island on which my family, my FI and I live. HIS family lives 14 hours by car away. So....I can see it being a problem for those people leaving their kids 14 hours away....and yet, I'd rather they just not come....the resort IS "family friendly." The other thing is, they're not rich, I doubt they can all come down if they have to rent a cabin at $300 a night.

 

I have a stupid question, then: how do you know how many rooms to book--do you wait for the STD return card?? Also, do the bride and groom have to pay for guests rooms?? We are beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrroke. I'm not evening getting a wedding dress, I'm just going to buy a nice dress from a store.

[adcarter41]

You absolutely do NOT have to pay for guest rooms.

[mimi73]

I have 3 kids of my own, and I can tell you that I would not be offended at all! It's YOUR wedding, YOU get to make the rules

Have you thought about hiring a 'sitter' or 2 to leave the kids with back at your place (or somewhere else) for the day and night? Then the parents don't have to leave their kids so far away. They still get the kids along for the vacation (just not for the wedding) and you get your kid free wedding. I hope I made sense Just a thought.

[MDLady]

If you are broke, do NOT under any circumstances pay for anyone's room!!!  My guests all paid their own airfare and hotel and whatever other expenses they had.  I had gift bags for all of them and a Welcome Dinner on top of all the wedding festivities.  That was it.  There was no way that I could afford to pay for everyone and unless you are pretty wealthy, nobody expects you to do it either!

[skadow]

 

Originally Posted by LMango 

Hi there,

 

I'm scared to post, because I'm scared everybody is going to tell me there's nothing I can to do stop people from bringing their kids to my wedding.

 

I'm recently engaged, and my FI's family has a lot of kids. Their own, grandchildren, adopted, and foster kids with "problems." I really can't stand kids. It doesn't matter why, it doesn't matter if I want kids of my own someday, it just matters that I'm having a VERY small, intimate wedding, and I do not want kids there. We want to have our wedding on a small island, where they do not have things like an extra house for kids to run around in. How do I ask them not to bring their kids for this one night??

 

My dislike of kids is strong enough that if I can't arrange this as I would like, I will simply have a wedding with just our parents, my FI, and myself.

I felt Exactly the same way. My FI and his whole family wanted to have kids in the wedding as the flower girl and brides maids. They just didn't get, that I didn't want that. No matter what I said. So...I canceled the whole bridal party thing. Now the only one that is standing up is me, and I couldn't be happier. Its a weight off my shoulders. so stick to you gut girl!. If you don't want them there, Don't have them their. If your like me, you are not going to be happy until this is settled. So make them aware. I am getting married at the Aventura Cove and Spa. Half is adults only. If you have the wedding on the adult side, the resort WILL NOT allow children...under no circumstances. Another good idea.....Pick an all adult resort =)