I am looking for good advice as well as maybe some moral support.
My fiance has been best friends with this particular individual since they were young teens. Even though they live in different countries now they still speak once a week. Its an interesting friendship. While it really is special, even they can't be around each other for too many days in a row. The best friend/best man is a generally good guy, who I like in some ways, and will continue to like for the sake of the fiance. He is also loud, rude, hyperactive and generally obnoxious. In small doses it can be OK and even amusing. But, I am quite worried about him stealing the show, or at least trying to.
Part of me says not to worry about something that has yet to happen, but how well do we listen to that part of ourselves usually? At a recent party for us the BM gave a long winded speech that kind of went overboard. He has already declared his intentions to do a speech/slide show at the wedding. We don't even know how he could do the slide show but whatever. I have expressed to the fiance that I would just as soon not have anyone give long speeches, just a short couple of words from a few people. The fiance agrees but doesn't feel like he can call the BM off if he is determined. OK, well, whatever, we will still have fun.
But... In addition to that he has a tendency to get louder and more attention demanding as a gathering goes on. So say this does happen, how is it most tactfully handled? I obviously want to be with my new husband at the dinner and party, and visiting with all of our guests. What are some good tactics for politely reining in someone? I am worried I will turn into the one trying to drag us or my FH away from the BM. How does one prep the FH to grow a backbone and circulate to all when it may seem rude to his friend?
Any good thoughts from others who have a good family friend you do care about, but who can be difficult on group dynamics?