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JulieG

BM Issues

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.B 2008 View Post
i would not like to be asked to be a 'back up' bridesmaid - i don't know if i would be offended but it would defnitely leave a bad taste in my mouth. for me, there is no way around saying ' you just weren't that important in the beginning but now that xxxx has dropped out, you really mean so much "

and on a personal note - i am a BIG believer that actions always speak louder than words so i can totally relate to why you are so frustrated - her actions don't back up her 'no matter what' attitude and that is a big dissapointment fryingpan.gif
The thing is I know the girl that I am going to ask would LOVE to be a BM, she really would. I think she was kinda sad that I did not pick her to begin with. So, I think she would be happy about it. But I am worried that it might kinda hurt her feelings as well. She knows that the BM who is dropping out is one of my best friends (I have 2) and so of course I would have picked her first. That is the thing, I think she will understand why I asked other BM first and not her.

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Originally Posted by Julesr View Post
The thing is I know the girl that I am going to ask would LOVE to be a BM, she really would. I think she was kinda sad that I did not pick her to begin with. So, I think she would be happy about it. But I am worried that it might kinda hurt her feelings as well. She knows that the BM who is dropping out is one of my best friends (I have 2) and so of course I would have picked her first. That is the thing, I think she will understand why I asked other BM first and not her.
you know them best and you should trust your instincts! if you think she will be excited, then go for it! that is just my opinion and everyone's circumstances are so different ... whatever happens i hope it is all over with soon so you don't have to stress out about it anymore!!!

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Originally Posted by Mrs.B 2008 View Post
you know them best and you should trust your instincts! if you think she will be excited, then go for it! that is just my opinion and everyone's circumstances are so different ... whatever happens i hope it is all over with soon so you don't have to stress out about it anymore!!!
Thank you so much. I will wait till I hear from my other BM and see what everyone on here thinks and then I will ask her. Hopefully it will be really soon, that way I can just get it off my mind and move on.

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Alright, the last update on this matter. So, I emailed everyone today to tell them another deposit is due on Tuesday. My BM called me tonight and said she could not do it. She just can't come up with the money. I was not surprised. She seemed really upset and really sad that she can't come and is going to miss my wedding, and I believe she is being sincere. So, I told her not to worry, I will come running home with a video and pictures for her to watch.

 

So, issue number 2 was do I ask someone else to stand in her place. Well, I decided to ask the other girl that I mentioned before. She said she is honored. She made a few jokes about it, but was totally kidding. So, in a sense my BM issues are resolved. Now, we can use the money towards the GM.

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Originally Posted by Julesr View Post
Alright, the last update on this matter. So, I emailed everyone today to tell them another deposit is due on Tuesday. My BM called me tonight and said she could not do it. She just can't come up with the money. I was not surprised. She seemed really upset and really sad that she can't come and is going to miss my wedding, and I believe she is being sincere. So, I told her not to worry, I will come running home with a video and pictures for her to watch.

So, issue number 2 was do I ask someone else to stand in her place. Well, I decided to ask the other girl that I mentioned before. She said she is honored. She made a few jokes about it, but was totally kidding. So, in a sense my BM issues are resolved. Now, we can use the money towards the GM.
I just read this entire thread, don't know how I missed it before... I'm so happy for you that everything is resolved. That sucks that your BFF won't be there, but at least you can pay for your GM and your other friend is so happy to be a BM. Things really did work out for the best!

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OH I'm so hapy this all all straightened out Juile. I know it was important for her to be there with you but she'll be there with you in spirit. I'm glad she was sincere.... just too bad she didn't save enogh. She was getting an amazing deal.

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Originally Posted by Raeka View Post
OH I'm so hapy this all all straightened out Juile. I know it was important for her to be there with you but she'll be there with you in spirit. I'm glad she was sincere.... just too bad she didn't save enogh. She was getting an amazing deal.
That is the part that irks me though, she had a year and only needed to save $400. To me that means she did not try as hard as I would have if it was her wedding. She thought she had to save the whole price, so to have nothing saved is pretty crappy. But, I think because she was in school she just assumed she would have a job as soon as she got out and would be able to save, and that is not the case. She still can not find a job. Oh well, its done, its the past, I need to move on now.

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It is hard to move on, but that is exactly what you need to do. People have different levels of consider-acy (yeah, I made that word up). I am glad that everythign is working out for you, and that your other BM is happy to step up. Now you FI gets to keep the numbers even. Everybody wins!

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Originally Posted by carlymcmullen View Post
It is hard to move on, but that is exactly what you need to do. People have different levels of consider-acy (yeah, I made that word up). I am glad that everythign is working out for you, and that your other BM is happy to step up. Now you FI gets to keep the numbers even. Everybody wins!
Thanks Carly, you are right, I know it, its just going to take a while to get over it. You see, the second worst part is that she is a hair dresser and make up artist (was till she went back to school), so she was going to do my hair and make-up and help out the other BM's as well. So, I am back to not knowing what to do about my hair and make-up.

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