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am i being unreasonable?

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#21 BecaJ

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    Posted 19 July 2010 - 08:59 AM

    I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. If you're ever entitled to be selfish it's at your own wedding. I would be furious if I were you. I don't understand why some people propose at other peoples weddings, it just feels like bad etiquette. Surely it would be a bit rubbish for the couple getting engaged aswel, because they also have to share their thunder with the bride and groom?

    I don't think I'd even want them to get engaged after the wedding to be honest. It is selfish but as I've said, you're allowed to be selfish at your wedding.x

    #22 BachataBride

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      Posted 19 July 2010 - 09:27 AM

      I understand why the guy wants to propose at the beginning of the trip...then they have all week to celebrate their engagement. But since you guys are getting married so early in the trip, I think it would be respectful of him to wait until after the wedding. Getting engaged the night before your wedding, you know she will still be glowing & showing it off (not in a bad way...just excited!) the next day...your wedding day...and that is not cool. I think you should just ask him to wait until after your wedding. I don't think there is anything wrong with someone getting engaged during your weddingmoon - I just think that it should be done at the right time. (ie, not the day before or day of the wedding!!)

      #23 *Linds*

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        Posted 19 July 2010 - 09:38 AM

        If this were me, my knee-jerk reaction would be, hell no! I would not be happy about it AT ALL! Example...we had uninvited guests at our wedding (my best friend's inlaws, also one of the GMs parents, my best friend and one of the gm's are married)**sorry if that's confusing...I was so upset that they were coming because I felt like it was going to turn into a family reunion for them, not the mention that they were bringing their daughter down as a gift to her and to celebrate her college graduation. I was so mad because I thought they were going to steal my thunder and take away from my day.

        In the end, everything turned out just fine (besides the uninvited mother wearing and all white dress at my wedding ceremony lol). I've learned that you can only control what you can control. Express how you feel, keep it classy, and move on. If they want to go against your wishes and get engaged before your wedding day, is there REALLY anything you can do about? I'm afraid there probably is not. Chances are others will be aware of how this situation may make you feel and caution the newly engaged couple to keep their celebrations to a dull roar because, after-all, they are there for your wedding.

        In my situation, I expressed my concerns to my best friend and just asked her to keep them in mind while we were in Mexico. On several occassions she reminded her MIL that we were there to celebrate my wedding and they would have "family time" after we (myself and DH) left the resort for our honeymoon.

        The best part was I didn't have to make an a$$ out of myself by expressing these feelings all over the place and making sure everyone knew just how annoyed I was. I let the situation speak for itself and everything turned out fine.

        Word to the wise...only worry about what you can control and don't worry about what you cannot.

        PS- I'm a leo too

        Good luck!
        Loving married life! <3

        #24 BachataBride

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          Posted 19 July 2010 - 09:46 AM

          Originally Posted by *Linds*
          Word to the wise...only worry about what you can control and don't worry about what you cannot.
          Brilliant! This should be every DW bride's motto!

          #25 Brandy

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            Posted 19 July 2010 - 10:23 AM

            I can totally see where your coming from, I would just ask if he could wait until after the wedding, but still while at your destination.

            #26 hat0112

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              Posted 19 July 2010 - 11:24 AM

              I am in the “It isn’t appropriate to get engaged the night before the wedding” boat. No matter what he says, his gf will be so happy (as any woman would) and will want to talk about it and show her ring off and celebrate her engagement and your wedding and wedding rehearsal is not the time for that. I know some of the woman are like “who cares” but it is YOUR wedding! Since you don’t plan on having another wedding this the one time in your life that all the attention should be on you and your FI. And it’s only a few days. After the wedding I think is completely acceptable, but not before. I hope they respect your wishes and wait until after your wedding (while still on their vacation). And if not, I hope all your other guests realize how inappropriate it is and wait to celebrate the engagement until after the wedding.
              Wedding 10/22/10 Westin Aruba

              I love being a Mrs.!

              #27 Nicyx

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                Posted 19 July 2010 - 11:26 AM

                If it were me i would absolutly forbid it before or on my wedding day, I would still not particually like after the wedding whilst were still in Mexico but i would be able to deal with that more...
                I hope he decides to go do it after the wedding and compromise.
                As others have said THEY will want to celebrate, it will be a very happy time in their lives....
                I just never understand why someone would want to do that at someones elses wedding and steal their thunder purposely or not....
                At the end of the day it YOUR wedding and to do this would be totally out of order.

                Sorry not much help, but definatly push for it after the wedding if it has to be done in Mexico.

                Good Luck xox

                #28 Princess402

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                  Posted 19 July 2010 - 05:28 PM

                  Girl, I don't think you're being unreasonable!!! I don't want anyone stealing my thunder! I definitely think the proposal should wait until AFTER your wedding if it's going to happen during, or even close to, your wedding trip. They are there for your wedding and shouldn't take away from that. After it's over, then go nuts! I do agree that it's their holiday too but really there's no reason that it couldn't wait until after the wedding, and then everyone's happy! That being said, if your friend proposes before the wedding anyways, regardless of what you think, try not to be too upset because really this will only ruin your day as much as you let it. Have an awesome day and comfort yourself with the knowledge that their wedding day will never be as amazing as yours, lol :)

                  #29 T&C

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                    Posted 19 July 2010 - 06:14 PM

                    I think a nice compromise is for him to wait to pop the question until after the wedding.
                    It is going to be a beautiful setting so you can understand why he wants to take advantage!

                    Once the wedding is done everyone can celebrate without it stealing your thunder.

                    Keep us posted!

                    #30 jajajaja

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                      Posted 19 July 2010 - 06:19 PM

                      I can totally see it from the guy's perspective too- they are on an awesome vacation and he wants to take advantage of the romance and pop the question in a really cool vacation spot. Sounds like a romantic idea to me. Not everyone can go on vacations all the time, so I think DW brides sometimes have to remember that yes it is all about you, but the people that are going are also making some sacrifices to be there as well. After all, we are all dictating where they go on their vacation and how they are spending their free money.

                      Anyways, I can understand your point too, but I think a wedding trumps an engagement. I could see people giving their congrats and well wishes, but an all out celebration that overshadows your wedding? I don't see that especially since all the guests are there for YOU.

                      I guess if that were me on the wedding trip, I wouldn't be gushing to people I don't know really well and fanning my ring all over the place. Actually I'm not really like that anyways, but I can't see a lot of people acting that stupid. I mean- ya, it's exciting to get engaged, but I don't think it's THAT exciting to lose your brain and act like an idiot at someone's wedding.
                      Happily married since 2008

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