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I Really Need MIL Advice Please!

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#1 KimmyD

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    Posted 22 June 2010 - 03:58 PM

    My FI and I just found out my in-laws will not be attending.We think it is because she has decided not to like me. (She does not like any of her sons wives or girlfriends) Although my wonderful FI really thought she would love me, he was dumbfounded that she did not. (I am sooo lucky!) I was thinking of sending this email, I am not sure I should or what it should say. Here it is:

    I am sorry that you have chosen not to attend our wedding. I was told that you had other plans. We were engaged March 17, 2009, we sent out our save the dates with 9 months notice. I simply cannot comprehend what could possibly be more important than seeing your son get married. You have really hurt Mike with this decision. Mike's reaction to this has surprised me, he is extremely angry. This wedding location was picked out by Mike, this is very important to him, he has been planning this thing right from the start. This is also an opportunity for you to meet my side of the family and our very dear friends who will be attending. It seems that Mike's side of the family will be solely represented by Seth. Thanks goodness one person from his family cares enough to be there for him. This is the start of a wonderful new life for us.

    Help Ladies, Please!


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    #2 knitgirl13

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      Posted 22 June 2010 - 04:01 PM

      I wouldn't. It will only fuel the fire. He needs to stand up for himself.

      #3 msglave

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        Posted 22 June 2010 - 04:14 PM

        I agree with knitgirl. Let your FI handle it.
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        #4 sunkisseddreams

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          Posted 22 June 2010 - 04:25 PM

          I'm so sorry to hear that...that is terrible! I couldn't even begin to imagine if my parent weren't attending. Shame on your in-laws!

          I agree with knitgirl13... That message needs to come from him. I fear that if you send the email, it would futher drive the wedge between you.
          Good luck & hope it works out for you
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          #5 tris

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            Posted 22 June 2010 - 04:31 PM

            This is such a tough situation to deal with... Honestly, I agree with the other girls that it's not your place to send the e-mail. If she doesn't like you already it's best not to fuel the fire and start your relationship off with your future in-laws on a sour note.

            Hopefully your FI can talk to them and find out what the real issue is. I mean, if they really don't want to come because they don't like you, then let it be. That's so sad and petty.
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            #6 boscobel

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              Posted 22 June 2010 - 04:31 PM

              I agree with the other girls, this needs to come from your FI and not you. I know it's hard to bite your tongue, but you def should in this instance.

              #7 Sheree10

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                Posted 22 June 2010 - 04:38 PM

                Sorry to hear about all that you're dealing with. I've come to realize that when you get married you are also marrying the ENTIRE family. This will take getting use to.

                I agree with previous posters. I don't think you should send the email. She may use it against you later on. Her son should have a conversation with her. After that just let it go. If she doesn't want to go that's her loss.

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                #8 AishaB

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                  Posted 22 June 2010 - 04:43 PM

                  Originally Posted by knitgirl13
                  I wouldn't. It will only fuel the fire. He needs to stand up for himself.
                  I think the ladies are in agreement. Knitgirl13 took the words right out of my mouth. He is their son, he needs to take care of the situation. As women, we like to try and fix things and we usually do. But in this case I would tell you to step back and just say to him, honey if you are so angry at your parents then you need to speak to them about the situation. She already doesn't like you, you sending that email will, as is said so eloquently above, fuel the fire.

                  Good luck!
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                  #9 JanineA

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                    Posted 22 June 2010 - 05:14 PM

                    I think all the ladies are right and Carly hit the nail on the head "this needs to come from your FI and not you. I know it's hard to bite your tongue, but you def should in this instance." Good luck!

                    #10 JellisRN

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                      Posted 22 June 2010 - 05:25 PM

                      wow. This one is really tough.... I really liked the wording in your email!!! . Have you decided not to send it?? I think I'd let him stand up first and see how that goes.... but I think I would definitely keep it in my back pocket.

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