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First BDW Vent

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#1 bahiabride2010

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    Posted 10 March 2010 - 11:26 PM

    Alright ladies...here it is...my first BDW vent!

    Here it goes (so glad that you're all here to listen to me):

    Last summer when we got engaged my FI and I had decided to have 4 people each in our bridal parties. This would make things nice and even and wouldn't be too hugefor our DW. We asked all of our friends and things were rolling along nicely.

    So one evening I come home in the summer and my FI starts talking about how he is so happy that his friend is going to be a GM! Pardon, I said? So frustrating...he had asked another guy! I was pissed for a moment but we got over that hump and I ended up asking one more girl friend of mine to even up the sides...I bet you can see where this is going!

    Last week, my FI got a call from this GM, they live in Edmonton, saying that they most likely will not be able to attend the wedding because of family troubles. No problem...I was a bit annoyed but I really don't like the guy and his wife and over the last couple weeks had gotten pretty used to the idea that they wouldn't be coming. We're shopping for the GM outfits next week while we're down south, so we wanted to make sure that he knew even if he did come he wouldn't be in the bridal party.

    So tonight, my FI says he's got good news...he just talked with the Ex-GM and there is still a chance they will be coming. At this point, I'm so tired of having this discussion and my FI was like well he could just get his own outfit....am I being a b***h? I said no way....I want them all to be matching! Just any pair of khaki's simply won't do!

    After a bit of a shouting match, I finally suggested that we will buy him an outfit and we'll just have it in case. Being a type A personality and someone who likes things to be planned in advance this is killing me!

    Alright...I feel better now!

    Just Breathe!

    #2 **~Linda~**

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      Posted 11 March 2010 - 12:57 AM

      Please don't hate me for this but I think you need to breathe a bit and relax. From what it seems your FI really wants him to be a GM and part of the bridal party. I do understand the fact that his ambivalence between coming or not is not fair(trust me we went through this with FI's brother) but what I suggest you do is sit and talk to your FI and ask him to set a time limit for him to give you guys an answer as far as him being in the bridal party or not because uniformity is important to you. By giving him a time frame you can guarantee that you have enough time to purchase an outfit if need be that matches the bridal party and will also give you a bit more ease of mind.
      HTH remember try not to stress with these things. When the day of the wedding comes trust me nothing that seems super important now will be of any importance then :) ..

      #3 mrs.timpone

      • Jr. Member
      • 312 posts

        Posted 11 March 2010 - 01:02 AM

        I hate to agree with Linda because I understand the stress of wanting everything perfect but you have to remember it is your FI wedding too. Obviously he wants this guy to a part of the wedding so just go with the flow. Im sure years from now when you look back at your wedding the last thing you will be thinking about it how the bridal party was no equal :)

        Just relax and enjoy the ride! Although I must say I do understand your frustration.

        #4 shae

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        • 308 posts

          Posted 11 March 2010 - 01:19 AM

          my fiance said something similar about the groomsmen attire. he originally wanted all of them to wear whatever they want since they all had their own sense of style. i thought it was funny! i mentioned to him that it was our wedding and that it really should reflect our style and not theirs.

          moral of the story....it helps to laugh and take things lightly when problems come up during the planning stage because everything will always work out in the end :)

          #5 bahiabride2010

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            Posted 11 March 2010 - 10:22 AM

            For sure ladies and I have relaxed about it. We are going to buy an outfit for him and whether he comes or not it's no skin of my back.

            I guess if I reflect on why I'm being a pain about this situation...at the root is probably the fact that I just plain don't like the guy. He's a jerk to his wife and kids. I've never hung out with them once without them fighting or overreacting towards their kids.

            In the grand scheme of things, this means nothing and there is not point getting worked up about it. Being honnest, the planning process is all consuming (in a great way) and it's hard for me to keep hearing about the "possibility" that things are going as planned.

            Thanks for the advice ladies...sometimes it's just nice to get things off of your chest!

            #6 svetayasofiya

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              Posted 11 March 2010 - 10:51 AM

              I totally get it. And if you can't vent here, then where can you? I think you have a good out look towards it though. I am sure everything will work out fine.

              #7 carolina24

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                Posted 11 March 2010 - 01:44 PM

                wow crazy!!! back and forth crap doesn't work for me either....and i love how your FI said the ex GM could just buy his own outfit!! men just don't get it. well as much as it sucks, you're right to just buy him one just in case...at least you know your pics will be fabulous

                #8 bahiabride2010

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                  Posted 11 March 2010 - 02:00 PM

                  That's right! Guys just don't get it! You're so right though...we are going to look so hot in our dresses!

                  Originally Posted by carolina24
                  wow crazy!!! back and forth crap doesn't work for me either....and i love how your FI said the ex GM could just buy his own outfit!! men just don't get it. well as much as it sucks, you're right to just buy him one just in case...at least you know your pics will be fabulous
                  Thanks for the words of encouragement ladies!

                  Feeling better now! Just one more sleep till holidays!

                  #9 lmuze

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                  • 457 posts

                    Posted 11 March 2010 - 02:15 PM

                    I hear you...we had this back and forth with my FI as well and his relatives who he wanted to be his GMs one day they are coming, the next they are not. It's aggrivating, so hang in there...at the end, everything will be beautiful.

                    #10 Kelitaw

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                      Posted 11 March 2010 - 02:19 PM

                      Keep breathing and you'll do just fine :) I've learned the same thing! We have a month til our wedding and the Best Man has still not booked a room or his flights.

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