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Ive upset my 18 year old !!!!

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8 replies to this topic

#1 roo66

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    Posted 25 February 2010 - 10:44 PM

    Josh came home tonight and asked if he could go on holday to Malia which is part of Greece on a lads holiday.Twenty of them on an 18-30 in July for two weeks.I said NO.
    At the moment he has his hand in plaster after breaking it in three places.For those in the know thats unusual.Two weeks before that we were in Accident and emergency thinking hed broken his foot.In october he had septo rinoplasty on his nose.The first two injuries were football related the later from falling from a tree when he was ten.
    I feel mean for saying no.Malia is a young persons resort and i know the holiday would be all about sun sea and sex.He was 18 only three weeks ago!!!
    Some of his friends went last year without any problems.
    BUT what if something goes wrong?
    Our wedding is on the 4th September we fly out on the 31st of August.He would be back around the 13th.
    He went to bed with the hump tonight and ive come downstairs unable to sleep partly cos of my bloody tooth its killing me and then because Malia keeps going through my head.
    Paul undestands my concerns Josh is just an accident waiting to happen if something went wrong i would want/have to fly out and with the wedding just a fourtnight later we would really really struggle financially.
    Paul said what if there was trouble and he was arrested and then fell asleep!!!
    That was it my mind was made up
    BUT in the morning i just know he will want me to explain why he cant go.BUT what
    If i said yes and something bad happened
    I just feel i should go with my gut instinct what do you all think?

    #2 ~Stephanie~

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      Posted 25 February 2010 - 11:07 PM

      Wow that is a tough one! As a mom I understand your concern. My boys are only 6 and 9 and I can't imagine having them go away to summer camp let alone a trip with friends!

      But he is 18 and he is an adult and as much as you don't want him to go you probably should let him, in my opinion. You don't want him to resent you for not letting him express his independence. Can you have a talk with him and express you concerns? Is he responsible enough to listen and understand, if so then he is showing he is responsible enough to go. If not then maybe you are doing the right thing by saying No.

      From one mom to another, I know its never easy. I wish you all the best in making these hard decisions.

      Our wedding websitewww.mywedding.com/stephanieandmichaelbailey

      #3 carolina24

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        Posted 26 February 2010 - 01:28 AM

        i say tell him no...obviously there is some reason as to why you have this "gut feeling" so stick with it. the fact that he's 18 has nothing to do with it. you are his mom and he is living in your house.

        of course kids don't want to here this "no b/c i said so" type of answer, so maybe you could explain to him that you'll be in greece anyway for the wedding a few weeks later and that he can have his vacation then. maybe you could let him bring one friend or something like that. besides like you said he JUST turned 18, you could tell him that YOU need sometime to adjust to the fact that he's an "adult" now and he can make the next guys' trip.

        #4 sunstarsmoon

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          Posted 26 February 2010 - 11:14 AM

          I have a 22 year old boy and is accident prone as well (maybe a boy thing). I feel your concern. If your wedding was not so close would you let him go? Maybe you could use the wedding as an excuse and tell him he can go next year its just to close to the wedding. Good luck with your decision!
          July 8, 2011, Couples Sans Souci Ocho Rios, Jamaica

          #5 roo66

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            Posted 27 February 2010 - 05:08 AM

            Well ladies he isnt going.He got up late yesterday and was very quiet.Very unlike Josh whos loud all of the time.He wants to be a holiday rep himself the perfect job for him lol.I told him i spoke with my mum and she said he was very selfish with our wedding only two weeks later he would not only ruin our wedding but everyones holiday aswell.
            He said thats rubbish left the room and went and played the playstation.
            I showered and went into him said i was off to TK Maxx and did he want to come or was he going to sulk all day? The reply was "im not ready"i told him thats not what i asked was he coming or was he gunna continue to sulk.He deceided to come and wa very quiet.
            BLISS lol
            To be fair he didnt question my decision at all
            I await the next instalment when someone cancels but am confiedent he wont budget for the just in case.
            Im very relieved he didnt just use the im 18 card and go book it PHEW

            #6 sungoddess_08

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              Posted 27 February 2010 - 12:41 PM

              I think you made the right decision. He isn't exactly an adult yet -- I mean, I remember when I was 18 and living in my parents house, they wouldn't have let me go!!!! I wasn't mature enough to go on a trip by myself, even though I may have wanted to. I think you made the right decision! :)

              #7 SusieQ

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                Posted 27 February 2010 - 01:09 PM

                Totally agree with you Mom...... I have a 21 year old and I feel the same.. sorry the wedding is so close I can not stand the stress of worrying about you and wha can happen...
                While is Mexico my brother who is single at 36, no kids, no responsibility!!!! had this bright idea that he would take my son, my FI and the rest of the guys into Cancun the night before the wedding for a pub crawl.... Oh he was pissed with me when I told him that was not happening..(FI wasn't interested in doing it anyway) ... Like you, I could feel bad vibes just thinking about what could happen and why open that door... I think your asking a small favor... please don't do this honey... Totally support you on this..

                #8 bnbrmy

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                  Posted 27 February 2010 - 05:14 PM

                  If this was me and my son, there is no way I would let him go. Anything could happen and who knows if he would be taken care of. It would be a great trip for him, but plenty of people come up missing or dead on these kinds of trips. I would imagine drinking and sex is going to be the main objective for all going, and to name one famous story- Natalie Hollaway...of course him being male he could handle things better than a female might be able to, but males tend to mouth off more and make situations very aggressive. I don't blame you for not wanting him to go, he has his whole life to go site seeing around the world, I think it would be better for him to wait.

                  #9 roo66

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                    Posted 27 February 2010 - 08:57 PM

                    I think that when he asked he thought i would say no anyway so for a while when i asked all the questions he saw it as a amber light and there was a strong possibility i would say yes.Little did he know was i never really thought it would be a yes but didnt want him to say i wasnt prepared to listen.Because he hasnt mentioned it since the NO on thursday evening i am now wondering if he too was a little worried.Although very confieident he does worry about being out of his comfort zone.We once went to a place in London called Camden he hated it, was frightened its an area in London where pepole are dressed very differently than in leafy Kent.ie piercings everywhere punks hippys all very individual arty peaceful people but he actually said mum i dont like it here can we go,I think he is relieved.
                    He has said though were doing a stag do in Zante and luckily Paul has said NO lol

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