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MIL visiting your resort before the wedding?


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#11 LCBride2007

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    Posted 19 February 2010 - 05:37 PM

    i guess it never would have occured to me to be upset about this. hell, i'd turn it into a positive and have her scope the place out and take pictures! i didn't do a site visit before my wedding either, but it would have been kind of cool for someone i know and trust to come back and say "yep, you did well, great choice!"

    don't let it bother you, it really isn't worth the drama. your wedding will still be special and magical regardless of who sees it beforehand. i promise.

    #12 wendyjd

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      Posted 21 February 2010 - 08:43 PM

      I think I'd give her a to do list, any questions you need anwered with the WC? Photos of wedding locations, try the food. I know my ex-MIL was so happy when I asked her to help with details (and it can take some of the stress off you).

      Good luck!!

      #13 KGraham27

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        Posted 22 February 2010 - 10:35 AM

        I would be upset at first too. Maybe you can give her a "to do" list to help with some final details.

        #14 *Nadine*

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          Posted 22 February 2010 - 01:46 PM

          I kinda think your being bridezilla to be honest.. Its a little nuts to think just b/c you are getting married that that noone else can go there before your wedding.. dont you think?? We picked our hotel for the same exact reason you picked yours (new hotel, noone had been to huatulco, and noone had been to the resort). However my sister ended up going down for another gfs wedding right before ours and went and visited the hotel and it was awesome cause she gave me great feedback about it.
          There are much bigger things in life to worry about than your MIL visiting your resort!! Thats my two cents.

          #15 NaM

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            Posted 22 February 2010 - 01:52 PM

            I'm going to have to agree with Nadine and say that I think you're making an issue out of nothing.
            It seems like your MIL is already excited about your resort choice otherwise she wouldn't be going there again much less recommending it to the friends who are going with them. It might also be a blessing since she will be able to give opinions on food, location, etc. I feel like the more information the better...you'll have a first hand experience from someone you trust. Maybe, if it gets to the point she tried to take over planning...just tell her you appreciate the help but you've got it under control. But as far as not wanting anyone else to travel there before the wedding is a bit ridiculous imo.

            #16 finleys7

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              Posted 22 February 2010 - 04:09 PM

              Correct me if I am wrong...it happens a lot...I think that the fact that she booked after knowing one important factor to you and the FI was THAT no one had been there before. There hundreds of resorts to go to, why did she have to choose this one, after you booked it for your wedding. It's not an Aunt, friend or another wedding...it's your future mother in law. Again, I don’t know the facts and if it was booked after or before..but I would be slightly annoyed.
              I also think that EVERYONE has a different relationship with their FMIL or MIL and that can sway someone's opinion of this.
              On the bright side, she may have some awesome advice...and like I said, keep looking for those deals, site visits are great experience if you can do it! Overall, it’s your day, you are paying for it and it will and should be the wedding of your dreams. Like some other girls have said on this forum about MOGs and MOBs, just give them a designated To Do List. =)
              Shannon

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              #17 volosikj

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                Posted 23 February 2010 - 03:12 PM

                Thanks everyone for the great advice. It definitely has helped me cool down to hear different sides. I am going to try to put together a "to do" list for her to check out, and just ask her not to share too much about her trip/experience. I am trying to be positive about it. I will let you know how it turns out in a few weeks once she comes back from the trip.

                #18 KimmyD

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                  Posted 26 February 2010 - 11:32 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by becks
                  I'm sorry she's stepping on your toes. That's not fun!

                  But seriously, don't worry about it. Tell her in no uncertain terms that you do not want to hear ANYTHING about the resort or her experience. Tell her that you want it to be totally new to you because you want your wedding experience to be a something totally unique. Tell her that one of the reasons you picked the resort was because you didn't want anyone attending to give you input, so that it could be totally yours and yours alone. Get your FI on board, too.

                  And then anytime she opens her yap to tell you that you should *whatever*, hold up your hand and tell her you want it to be new when you get there, and walk away.

                  Oh, and yeah, that's not a nice thing for her to do. But MILs are a pain. I still tell everyone I know to marry an orphan.
                  I am with Rebecca and so is my FI!!! Thats ridiculous. Keep calm and be the bigger person. Good Luck!
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                  #19 kate.com

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                    Posted 01 March 2010 - 05:37 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by volosikj
                    Thanks everyone for the great advice. It definitely has helped me cool down to hear different sides. I am going to try to put together a "to do" list for her to check out, and just ask her not to share too much about her trip/experience. I am trying to be positive about it. I will let you know how it turns out in a few weeks once she comes back from the trip.
                    Good for you!!!

                    #20 Shakara

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                      Posted 01 March 2010 - 07:43 PM

                      yea... I would be upset too! Did she say why she all of a sudden wants to go there now that you've picked your wedding location? Did she know you picked it because no one else had been there before? If she didn't know or she's just going maybe to give you the inside scoop then I would just look at as now you'll know more info. My cousin who's coming to my wedding went to ROR like 3 times and loved it so I found it really helpful to get details from her. She had pictures of every single thing you could think of which is also very helpful. So if she's going down there and it's outta your control, I would just get her to find out exactly what your interested in knowing.




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