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Bridesmaid requesting help...

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13 replies to this topic

#1 Jacs77

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  • 12 posts

    Posted 25 January 2010 - 11:53 AM

    Ok - so I have a huge problem...and Im feeling uber guilty about thinking it, so I thought I could get some advice from you ladies..

    I had my Bridesmaid Dress fitting yesterday, and all the girls looked fab in their dresses...I myself, am a bit more curvy then them, and the dress style looks absolutely horrible on me...or so I thought, I couldn't bare to look in the mirror.

    I tried to get the straps a certain way so as to offset my insecurities and just be able to have a good time, however it didn't work. I am a very self conscious individual, and I know its not my day and I shouldn't be so upset, but I don't want to be that girl, that looks like a normal dress wouldn't fit her properly so they just sewed some pieces of material together to look like the other BM's....

    Im torn between just sucking it up, dieting a little, and just being ok with that, and saying something to try and figure out a solution that works for both of us ( Bride and myself) ...although the Bride didn't say anything about how it looked....

    Would you tell your BM if the dress didn't look good? or would you just leave it and hope that the BM would be honest with you about her feelings about the dress...


    #2 **Kat**

    • Sr. Member
    • 2,682 posts

      Posted 25 January 2010 - 12:12 PM

      I personally would be honest. I really wanted to make sure that my girls were comfortable and happy with what they were wearing, which is why I let THEM pick the style of dress they wear. I know that I wouldnt want to spend money on something that I dont feel good in. And I am sure that she wouldnt want that for you either. I would just try being honest with her about how you feel. I am sure that she will understand and be happy to work with you so that you feel good. :)

      #3 Jacs77

      • Newbie
      • 12 posts

        Posted 25 January 2010 - 12:34 PM

        Thank you for that! Im just so torn with what to do, and the other BM's and MOH are not really good good friends of mine to get their opinion...

        Much appreciated!

        #4 stevensFiance

        • Jr. Member
        • 164 posts

          Posted 25 January 2010 - 12:36 PM

          I agree. I have 5 girls with my MOH, all have different body types, I took the 2 who I knew would have the most difficulty with feeling secure in any dress, and I picked the dress according to them, the other 3 bridesmaids are tiny and will have no issue with the dress.
          I guess honesty is always the best but if the dresses have already been picked and ordered and paid for it may be a pain in the ass. What about having the dress altered? Maybe a tailor can get the straps the way you wanted. Victorias secret also sells those um, not spankys, that are supposed to take you in a bit, they work wonders!

          Im kind of dealing with a situation with my brother, hes a groomsman, and hes a big guy 6'4 maybe close to 300lbs, and my Fiance decided on the guys wearing Burberry polos, only the largest size they have is 2x and they cater to a much slimmer body type. I told my fiance from the getco my bro' would never fit into it, but we still asked my brother to try it on, and it was not flattering AT ALL. To say the least my fiance is upset and frustrated, because truth be told any brand that my fiance may decide on probably will not fit my brother.

          He asked, I said YES!!! 1 <3 21 <3 04 - 5 <3 13 <3 08

          #5 Sylvie143

          • Jr. Member
          • 181 posts

            Posted 25 January 2010 - 04:45 PM

            First off, you are curvy, you are lucky... I love my curves and embrace them, however I feel your pain in that not everything looks good on us due to the curviness we are blessed with, in my opinion you should be honest, it's not your day, however you were asked to be a part of it and I think you should be comfrotable too. I'm sure if you talk to her about it she will understand. We are here for you darling!

            #6 coley88

            • Jr. Member
            • 186 posts

              Posted 25 January 2010 - 04:52 PM

              I have to agree with being honest with the bride. I went through a similar situation a few years back, the fit was wrong, the color was awful on me, but it was the brides favorite color so I sucked it up and smiled my way through the day. The second I could take the dress off, I did.

              But, before she picked that dress I went shopping with the Bride and the first dress she wanted was very low cut in front and I'm large chested, I told her "If you want all eyes on you you probably shouldn't put me in that dress. The girls won't stay in." She laughed and kept looking. The dress she chose wasn't my taste and didn't flatter my body, but it did most of the girls and this bride wanted every one to be the same.

              She may not budge on the dress, but she might or at least see if it's possible to get you a different style in the same color. If she's your friend and you can talk to her, and I hope you can, then kindly and supportively speak with her.

              #7 roo66

              • Sr. Member
              • 1,001 posts

                Posted 25 January 2010 - 05:25 PM

                Honesty is always the best policy so have a word with her.Im glad she made no comment when all the girls were there that would of been a bridezilla moment.
                Try really hard to loose some weight it would boost your confidence no end.
                Good luck xx

                #8 Sylvie143

                • Jr. Member
                • 181 posts

                  Posted 25 January 2010 - 06:43 PM

                  Let us know how it goes if you decide to talk to her =)

                  #9 **Kat**

                  • Sr. Member
                  • 2,682 posts

                    Posted 25 January 2010 - 11:21 PM

                    Yeah, please let us know if you talk to her. We are here!

                    #10 CanadianLindsey

                    • Jr. Member
                    • 284 posts

                      Posted 17 April 2010 - 06:33 PM

                      Especially if you are paying for this dress you should say something. Being a bridesmaid is super expensive already, let alone buying a dress you will never wear again! A real friend will take into consideration how you feel and I'm guessing if your a bridesmaid then you two are close. She may just be so stressed and pulled in a million different wedding directions that she didn't notice the disappointment on your face or how it fit you. Also, sometimes we are our own worst critics. Try the dress on with someone you trust that is not involved with the wedding and see how they feel about the dress. Good luck! :)

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