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Has anyone ever try to buy their way into being a BM?

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#1 Sylvie143

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  • 181 posts

    Posted 21 January 2010 - 01:03 AM


    I have a friend who has dubbed me her "BFF". Funny thing is she is everything but..... So my MOH is my FI's sis in law because she has really been there for me through thick and thin, my so called "BFF" or as she has proclaimed herself to be is nothing but a toxic human being who once was a fantastic person who has gone wrong. Anyway long story short, when I got enagaged instead of being "happy" for me she was POed at my FI for not "telling her first".... *insert jazz hands here* REALLY?!?!? I mean really?!?!? *smacks forehead* anyway, she has been ever since "buying" me these lil gifts to "due her duty as a BFF" she has said..... I've told her she REALLLLLLLLLLLLLY doesn't have to. 5 min later she came down to give me the "gift" (we SADLY work in the same building....emphisis on SADLY). AWWWWWKWARD. Really Awkward. like REALLLY awkward. I've been honest with her in the past of her toxic changes etc... and she brushed them off as if I told her she had dandruff on her shoulders... Long story short of it is, she hasn't gotten the point she isn't my "BFF" let alone my friend... What should I do, should I be in "for the love of Ray Jay" (for all my reality TV junkies) word one hun-deridid (aka 100) or should I just distance myself away from her... advice is much appreciatded...

    P.S you ladies are awesome for reading this, thank you much!

    #2 sungoddess_08

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    • 829 posts

      Posted 21 January 2010 - 02:09 PM

      I would be straight up with her and tell her that you aren't as close as she thinks you are. That being said, I am a really straight up person, especially if someone is bugging me like that. She sounds like she needs you to just be up front with her about your real relationship, as if you are just polite and give advice about her...she'll ignore it.
      It's a tough situation, but I would definitely be putting an end to it - mostly because I would find it really irritating to have someone like that buying me things and expecting something from me that I didn't want to provide.

      Is that harsh? lol

      #3 carolina24

      • Sr. Member
      • 1,573 posts

        Posted 21 January 2010 - 03:19 PM

        tell her to leave you alone; this isn't high school anymore..it's real life and there is no reason why you should have to put up with someone you don't like imo. and no sungoddess, it's not harsh, its reality (apperantly we think the same lol)

        #4 Sylvie143

        • Jr. Member
        • 181 posts

          Posted 21 January 2010 - 03:53 PM

          Good advice ladies! It isn't too harsh.

          I think you are right, I need to be upfront and just say it. I was trying to just ignore her really since I have a lot going on, but she doesn't get the hint, I get like 10 (No joke) emails from her at work and I don't respond but I do need to just step up and say it. BLUNTLY.... more blunt than I have been before.

          #5 marak

          • Newbie
          • 58 posts

            Posted 21 January 2010 - 04:37 PM

            My only advice.. Keep her as far from your office as possible! She sounds like a stalkerific nutty-buddy that will only get crazier as your wedding gets closer.

            #6 Sylvie143

            • Jr. Member
            • 181 posts

              Posted 21 January 2010 - 04:48 PM

              Marak, she works in my building. I've had to tell her to stop just "popping" in becuase anytime she had drama go down she would come down to my office and tell me about it for 20min at a time, I'm a business professional, not in HS ya know? You can't just do that in a corporate setting, or any job for that matter.....

              #7 sungoddess_08

              • Member
              • 829 posts

                Posted 21 January 2010 - 05:23 PM

                Ughh!! that is so annoying. You need to say something -- I would be so embarassed if someone came up to my area at work and was talking about inappropriate/HS things.

                I feel for ya!! Keep us posted on how it goes!

                #8 Loveisintheair

                • Jr. Member
                • 344 posts

                  Posted 21 January 2010 - 08:43 PM

                  Honesty is the best policy!!! Be still and let God give you the best approach.

                  #9 vdaybride

                  • Sr. Member
                  • 1,412 posts

                    Posted 21 January 2010 - 10:28 PM

                    Wow...single white female all over again! Tell her that you appreciate the gifts, but you don't think its appropriate! Or as hard as it may be say "I can't accept that" but "thanks for thinking of me" or just tell her out right that the friendship is not working out. If she shows up with your same haircut....RUN FOR THE HILLS! Good luck
                    Married 2-14-2010 Dreams, Los Cabos


                    #10 debbmach

                    • Sr. Member
                    • 1,457 posts

                      Posted 22 January 2010 - 12:20 AM

                      I think you just need to be honest with her and you do need to be more blunt with her, obviously she doesn't get the subtle hints (although they seem pretty obvious to me)! Having a toxic friend is not good for your soul and you do need to distance yourself from her...i've also a 'divorced' a very good friend in the past (who went crazy like yours!) and life has been better since, but there was a lot of drama going through it.

                      Good luck!

                      58 people booked...and counting!!!

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