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Guest assumes they can bring someone


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#21 tammikins

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    Posted 20 November 2009 - 09:58 PM

    I was rcently invited to a friends wedding, and the RSVP card said there is only one seat reserved for me (not that I personally need two lol). I was hurt by this, especially because I was already engaged. To my friend's credit I did JUST get engaged pretty much as she was sending out the cards and I didn't know my fiance for very long. I went by myself and although I was with a bunch of my best friends I was kinda bored.

    You cant assume that just because your single guests know everyone that those are the people they would want to spend an entire week with. As for costs, I'm paying about $80 per person for the reception and ceremony, but the costs that the guests are paying to be there are approximately 20 times that amount.

    I know its a tough call, but you should think about what scenario you like more: not having your friends there at all, or having your friends there, and some people you dont YET know but might be friends with by the end of the trip

    #22 carolina24

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      Posted 21 November 2009 - 05:16 AM

      I made it clear to our single friends that only the people named on the invitations are invited. Have your mom or MOH call the people that RSVPd online and let them know. btw it is very rude to assume that you can bring a guest!!!

      #23 latoya1908

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        Posted 21 November 2009 - 01:21 PM

        Are we talking about the actual destination wedding or the AHR?? As for me, I NEED MY 10 ROOMS!! LOL!! With that, I don't care who comes at this point, and since Sandals Grande Ocho Rios is a couples resort, I need to have all guests to have a travel partner anyway. We're not doing a formal reception after the ceremony in Jamaica (I can't imagine paying extra for food that's already included in an all-inclusive resort so we're just going to all eat together at one of the restaraunts), so the number of people that join us there is no issue.

        Now as for our AHR, that's something different. Whoever we address the invitation to is who we're inviting...period.

        #24 classadiva

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          Posted 21 November 2009 - 10:14 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by clfaidl2
          I invited everyone assuming they could bring a guest. I just felt that if the role was switched and i had to shell out a lot of cash to go to someones wedding that I would want someone to go with me. Most people don't want to be the odd man out and to be honest I wont get to spend as much time as i would like with everyone that is attending the wedding...it is the honeymoon as well after all. So, I think it will make the guests more comfortable having someone they are comfortable with. If the role was switched, and I had to go and not take a guest I would not go. Is there any way you can get the guest amount extended?
          I can extend the guest list....as long as I can afford it. We are not going to an all-inclusive resort. It is costing us upwards of $225-$250 per person for the wedding and welcome reception. I just can't afford to extend an invitation to extra people. If I had to include them, I may not have had a DW wedding in the first place. I wish I could,..but it is not possible. I am trying HARD to stick to my original plan. Of course...nothing is stopping a guest from bringing anyone they want to the resort....I just can't invite them to the events. One guest even said that they were bringing 3 other people with them...but realize that the invite is just for them.

          #25 classadiva

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            Posted 21 November 2009 - 10:18 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by latoya1908
            Are we talking about the actual destination wedding or the AHR?? As for me, I NEED MY 10 ROOMS!! LOL!! With that, I don't care who comes at this point, and since Sandals Grande Ocho Rios is a couples resort, I need to have all guests to have a travel partner anyway. We're not doing a formal reception after the ceremony in Jamaica (I can't imagine paying extra for food that's already included in an all-inclusive resort so we're just going to all eat together at one of the restaraunts), so the number of people that join us there is no issue.

            Now as for our AHR, that's something different. Whoever we address the invitation to is who we're inviting...period.
            It is for the wedding...the resort is not all-inclusive. I could use the rooms too, but to be honest, I have to get far too many rooms at my resort to make it finacially feasible or worthwhile to just allow extra folks to attend.

            #26 Sheree10

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              Posted 22 November 2009 - 12:39 AM

              I think some guests can be inconsiderate. I expect that my solo travelers may want to bring someone- that's okay. They're paying lots of $$ to travel a long way to my wedding. I had to laugh the other day when one of my guests asked how many guests she could bring along? I told her she was invited along with her husband. If he doesn't come she can bring one of her friends in his place. Her rationale is that if she is in a triple she will have to pay less. But what she doesn't realize is that I will be paying for another person. It's not a free for all?!

              I've only heard from some people about wanting to come to the wedding. No one has booked yet- we have a deadline with the TA of Dec. 1. Only time will tell.

              I apologize for ranting...
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              #27 clfaidl2

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                Posted 22 November 2009 - 01:10 AM

                If you have to pay extra for the other people that you didnt send invites to I would let them know your reasoning. Say it is costing you more than you can afford and you appreciate them wanting to share the day with you, but if they want to bring extra guests they will have to pay whatever your extra cost is for having that guest at the wedding. That stinks its not all inclusive. Hope it all works out, but maybe if you explain to them your situation they will understand and not bring those extras or help with the cost of those ppl! Have a great weekend and good luck!
                ~Christina~

                #28 classadiva

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                  Posted 22 November 2009 - 01:46 AM

                  Sheree....vent all you want!!! December 1st is so close. I'm sure that it will all work out..people tend to wait until the last minute....especially in this economy. Hang in there.

                  Christie...thanks...I honestly have just told folks what I have said here....we only invited close friends and family and that meant excluding many. As such....I can't justify their extra guest. I have told them that I hope that they can still come...but if not...I understand. I do not want to get into allowing folks to pay for the cost of the extra person because I know that I would not take their money.

                  Enjoy the rest of your weekend too!!

                  #29 daniepps

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                    Posted 07 December 2009 - 12:26 AM

                    If I were single and invited to a DW and told I could not bring a +1 I might not go. Most of my friends including the wedding party are single but all of the FI's friends are married so it's not an issue for him but I just assumed most of my friends would be bringing someone so I just added their +1 in my initial count. I understand cost is an issue but I think it's kind of inconsiderate to ask someone to come on a trip by themselves.

                    Now what I did have a problem with is one of the FI's friends asked if another couple (who I've never met) could come. If we weren't having a DW and were getting married at home I don't think anyone would invite someone the couple has never met to a wedding so why would anyone think it was ok for a DW I told them that they could use our group rate but they won't be able to attend the ceremony or the reception.

                    #30 TonyandTricia

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                      Posted 07 December 2009 - 02:45 PM

                      I agree with others that since it is a destination wedding I wouldn't ever expect anyone to come alone...even if they do know other people there. If my fiance isn't invited to something that I am paying over $1000 to go to I'm probably not going. If my guests are paying that much money I want them to feel comfortable and be with their significant others or whomever they want to share the trip with...because let's face it....yes, we are getting married there, but to them this is a vacation!!! My wedding just happens to also be going on! My family is planning their golf schedules and I had to remind them that they can't golf on Friday...that's the day I'm getting married! Haha! I think you have to consider them and their investments that they are making to come to your wedding.

                      If you really don't want them there, you should put on the RSVP that "_____ number of seats have been reserved in your honor." This is what we are going for the AHR so that Mr. and Mrs. Jones don't bring their four kids!! But for the wedding, we are not excluding anyone.




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